61 Frames Per Second by John Constantine Today in Hooksexup's videogame blog: Test Icicles take it to the Streets of Rage and Cole goes Sega ga-ga for Segagaga.
The Remote Island by Bryan Christian Today on Hooksexup's TV blog: Is Ashley Alexandra Dupré developing her own reality show? Our sources say... maybe!
Taurus (Apr. 20-May 20)
It's finally edging toward kite-flying weather, and your mood's swinging just as high as those whimsical paper-and-string contraptions. But make sure that you keep at least a part of yourself firmly planted on the soil — be it an elbow, a baby toe, whatever — because you're gonna feel the need to get rooted sooner rather than later. Mercury's gonna hit retrograde later next week, and while the skies are more or less sunny from here to there, it doesn't hurt to batten down the proverbial hatches a bit early. Plus, that kite string has enough uses to keep you and yours fully entertained in mildly stormy weather.
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Gemini (May 21-Jun. 21)
Your emotions aren't the only things that tend to bottle themselves up and burst at unexpected moments — good news tends to happen the exact same way. Even though you've been on a wee emotional plateau lately, get ready for a message that's gonna shake your current routine off of the Richter scale. The Sun's gonna be all up in Jupiter and Uranus to help this revelation along, but don't look for it in a text or an email. No, this is infinitely more creative than that — so be on the watch for bottles washing up on the sidewalk, pigeons carrying more than disease, and hidden meanings in the tattoos of the sexy thang behind the bar.
Cancer (June 21-July 21)
Climb out of your shell, Crabby: this month is your time to sparkle and shine. We can all feel a little socially awkward from time to time, but this is no week to scurry and hide. Good things will come from making nice and throwing yourself into all sorts of soirees, from happy hours to parties in the park. You might make a career or love connection, or just have a conversation that could give you a clue as to what your next step in life should be. Even if you don't have an epiphany, happy hour prices always make for a good time.
Leo (July 22-Aug. 22)
When Justin Timberlake introduced Madonna, prior to her induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, he told a charming little tale of how, in the midst of tiring recording session, she gave him a shot in the ass. Literally. She told him to pull down his pants, and injected him with vitamin B-12. How does this apply to your life? Mars is entering Leo for the first time in almost a year, and will bring with it the equivalent effect of Madonna injecting your ass. It's get-up-and-go time: the universe will be flooding you with energy and ideas. Jump on it, before Mercury goes retrograde on May 26. After that, not even Madonna can control things efficiently.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 21)
You don't need to hole yourself up in a desert cave, surviving only on locusts, honey and masturbation this week, Virgo. But I do recommend that you take the time to prepare your own meditative space. You may feel a tad anti-social and crave time for yourself. The stars wouldn't have it any other way: this is time to gather your strength, meditate, and then expend everything you've saved up in a glorious burst of creative energy. Masturbation's okay, too, though.
Libra (Sept. 22-Oct. 22)
Libra, the universe is your own personal Dunder-Mifflin paper-supply company this week. Filling out applications? Need a new job, a new loan, a new car? Put pencil to paper and get yourself ready; the new moon early next week bodes well for all such financial boosts. And hey, if you're lucky, you might meet the Jim to your Pam, to boot. Who says office romances aren't practical?
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
I know it's getting all warm and wonderful outside. People are stripping down, and pheromones float in the air like a little kid's blown bubbles. So you may not want to hear this. . . but. . . Monday and the week that follows is the perfect time to buckle down at the office. The planets are giving all things career-oriented a celestial kick in the ass, and you'll want to take advantage before Mercury goes retrograde on May. So get to getting. You gotta sow before your reap the rewards, bubble and blowing and all.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
Are you receiving invites to get away from it all for Memorial Day weekend, Sag? If you haven't yet, expect some travel opportunities in the imminent future. From friends with party cabins, or whose parents are out of town. . . it's the perfect time to pack up and flee for an exotic locale. Or, the Jersey Shore. Whatever. The important thing is to get a new perspective on your world. If you can't afford a vacation, find other ways to travel. You can reach great heights, right from the comfort of your own bed. . . Just make to sure to invite a friend or two along.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
Watching CSI reruns and ordering pizza does not count as a date night (especially not CSI: Miami). You'll want to put some effort into date nights this week, Cap, because Venus is simply showering down sexual charisma on your innocent little head. If you're attached, work it a bit: you might see a whole new side of your partner. Single? Put some effort into your lovely locks and what you're wearing. Even if you're not out there to snag someone, it's good to treat yourself with love and respect. But, you know, if it leads to weekend of wild, sweaty monkey sex. . . all the better.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
Jupiter and your ruler, Uranus, will be two-stepping all over your charts in the early part of the week. Honey, their moves are gonna bring sexier surprises than any scantily-clad Dancing with the Stars duos. Expect good news. And with a Mercury retrograde imminent, expect to spend some time reflecting on your past in the coming weeks (or even, ahem, revisiting issues with an old lover). Let's just hope you and your old friends hold it together better than Marie Osmond did on Dancing. There are only so many people who can pull off the sexy-baby doll look, and she ain't one of them. Might be a good idea if you hold off on that look, as well. . . at least until after Mercury's out of retrograde.
Pisces (Feb. 19-Mar. 20)
The word of the day is "legs," Pisces. Let's all spread the word! Think you can do better? Best brush up on your pick-up lines, because this week will give you ample opportunity to use 'em. The best days for romance will be early in the week, or later this weekend. What? You want me to tell you that love will be in the air all week long? Greedy fish; you gotta rest sometime. If you seriously have that much stamina, honey, give me a call. . .
Aries (Mar. 21-Apr. 19)
You may feel as though you've been fishing with neither bait nor hook in recent weeks — there has to be some explaining why the stream seems to have run dry, so to speak. But lest you hang up that pole for good, Mars is going to swing through your love sector — and, as your astrological wingman, the company of your ruling planet is going to bring all the, um, fish. . . to the. . . yard? The pond? Anyway, what I mean is, pull on your wading boots and get ready to swim in the warm waters of sweat, fluids, and affection. From here through June, you'll probably find that finding a date is as easy as shooting aqueous creatures in a barrel.
