The Remote Island by Bryan Christian Nightline host gets pervy and racist — and we can't bring ourselves to make fun of him. PLUS: New Lost castaways and the So You Think You Can Dance finale.
Dating Confessions by You "I'm not some chick you picked up in a bar. When someone is a good friend, it's not cool to just never speak to her again after a hook-up."
Scanner by Emily Farris Today on Hooksexup's culture blog: John McCain signs his wife up for a topless beauty pageant. Plus, the ten hottest athletes of the Olympics.
REGULARS
posted 5/19/2008
MAY 19-MAY 26
Taurus (Apr. 20-May 20)
You may have a reputation for being as emotionally sturdy as baby seals are adorable (read: very), but don't let maintaining your street cred get in the way of maintaining your mental health. Because much like those fuzzy, big-eyed baby creatures, you need a little protection now and then from the brutal world of capitalism, interpersonal relationships and murderous roving walruses. Saturn and Pluto are manifesting some stability to help you through it, but the planets can't kiss your elbows or suck your toes. So don't be afraid to look to your partner for a little support when you're feeling the pre-emptive June Gloom.
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Gemini (May 21-Jun. 21)
Ever feel like the stuff you need most — money, time, a really good handjob — always slips through your fingers like so much Astroglide? Well, lucky for you, this week's astrological line-up will let you finally get a firm grip on the little necessities that have eluded you so far this year. Having Jupiter on your side is sort of like having a shit-ton of supercharged good-luck charms in your pocket, and you'll have no shortage of cash-money, hours in the day, or affectionate rubdowns. So ride this wave of good fortune like it's the hottest thing you've ever laid eyes on, and don't look back.
Cancer (June 21-July 21)
Someone as inwardly sensitive and outwardly poke-y as you has a hard time coping with all of the big, ugly truths of the world from time to time. I know that it can feel like we're all doomed to go down in a blaze of war-crime-fueled despair, but take heart: it's the tiniest joys that give us the energy we need to start revolutions. And you'll find yourself constantly warmed by small bursts of ecstasy this week, starting with the 19th's full moon and getting stronger in May's final days, before Mercury slips out of the picture. Use these small pleasures as ammunition against the monsters of the world, and make sure to do some winning over of hearts and minds on your way towards liberation.
Leo (July 22-Aug. 22)
Everybody loves a getting presents, especially when they're shiny and nicely packaged, with a huge freaking bow on top. This week, thanks to some celestial intervention from Venus, your presents are going to come in the form of good news, with a side-helping of old friends, saucy flings and the tying up of loose ends. You're never happier than when you feel like you've got all the answers, so even though the resolution of certain relationships may not be to your liking, you'll be comforted knowing that you were right about everything all along. Except for those videotapes. Those were a bad call from the word "go."
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 21)
You're usually a routine-loving homebody, and that's cool — we believe fully in the restorative powers of hermitude and ruts. But this week you're gonna get the itch to bust out like it's spring break and the cameras are rolling. I mean, you're not gonna be drunkenly flashing your goods or gyrating with a bunch of oiled-up college students or anything. No, thanks to Monday's full moon your mental vacation is going to be more like an enlightenment journey than a kegger, and the end result will leave you with fewer hangovers, regrettable hookups, or unexplained rashes. In fact, you'll be exploding with new ideas, spontaneous action and love for the universe — and one universe in particular is just waiting to be rocked by you, so. Get to it.
Libra (Sept. 22-Oct. 22)
We were all teenagers once, and though the memories of high school aren't always so sweet, the adult versions of ourselves could always use a burst of the hormones we couldn't manage back then. Luckily, your eighth house is all sorts o' filled up with planets, and they want to see some canoodling in the halls! Get ready for a week of explosive can't-keep-your-hands-to-yourself energy that will leave you and your partner breathless with adolescent delight. And the best part of this sudden sexy surge? No curfew, of course!
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
Have you been huddled over your desk a lot lately? Are your eyes weary and the pain below your right shoulder blade shooting down your spine with every body shift? Well, this week, you don't have to feel like Charlie Brown with that ominous cloud over your head. Finally, the clouds will part and the aftermath of May 5th's new moon is finally gonna shake things up in your world. Think friends, lovers and rooftop bars. We're pretty sure that shooting pain will fade away by the third mojito.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
John Lennon once said, "Life is what happens to you when you're busy making other plans." As cliché as the quote may have become over the years, let's face it, the guy knew what he was talking about. It's easy to get caught up planning your future when your present isn't everything you always hoped it would be, but sometimes you've got to live in the moment. Be truthful — don't you look back fondly on the days you sat huddled in empty living rooms, hoarding ramen noodles and struggling to keep the thermostat below seventy? Maybe if you stop to smell them roses now, you'll get a pleasantly unexpected glimpse into the nostalgic future.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
Stir it up, little darling, stir it up! This week, your recipe is oh-so-tasty, and you sure as hell can't hide it! You'll be the talk of the town — okay, maybe just the neighborhood — but whether it's the local dive or the uptown scenster action you plan to get involved in, it doesn't matter. Venus's charisma will seep from your glowing pores and spill onto your unsuspecting victims like sweet, sweet honey. Be sure to keep your net open, you never know what sort of bee will want to bumble with you. Keep your options open.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
Sometimes we just want to go where everybody knows our name and they're always glad we came. . . and they always have our drink poured by the time we walk from the door to the bar. Places like that are comforting. They remind you that you do, in fact, have a place in the infinite abyss of life. But life isn't actually infinite. Not to be a Debbie Downer or anything, but life is short. Shake things up for once — and I'm not just referring to switching bar stools. Besides, it's healthy and liberating to feel a little uncomfortable sometimes.
Pisces (Feb. 19-Mar. 20)
You won't need any heads-up pennies or rabbits' feet this week, Pisces! You're going to feel like the stars spun a web of four-leaf clovers just for you as you steam forward in life on some pure undiluted luck. Think opportunities at work or school — whatever it is, you're going to be great. Spring allergens won't be the only thing in the air this week either, as the sweet aromas of love infect your heart with a good dose of romance! Play up the powers of your heart by trying to infect someone else with the vivacious virus of passion. Don't get well soon!
Aries (Mar. 21-Apr. 19)
Thanks to a felicitous full moon at the beginning of the week, you'll feel inspired to take on the world in the style of the late, great Robert Rauschenberg. Treat every tryst like you're building one of his famous combines — the ability to see the potential in raw, recycled, or otherwise rough materials is one of your strongest gifts. So it should come as no surprise that you'll be discovering people in the strangest of places. Tell your inner skeptic to take a breather, and keep your eyes and brain wide open to the possibility of finding love in every one of life's precious little junk heaps.
