61 Frames Per Second by John Constantine Today in Hooksexup's videogame blog: Golden Axe dresses down to its skivvies. Plus: Spore takes on evolution, reaches a stalemate, and takes evolution out for a beer.
Dating Confessions by You "There is nothing hotter than a nice, shy guy. Because it's so damn hot to see what he's like underneath it all."
Scanner by Emily Farris Today on Hooksexup's culture blog: The top five rumors we'd like to start about Sarah Palin, but won't.
REGULARS
posted 5/26/2008
MAY 26-JUNE 2
Gemini (May 21-Jun. 21)
Are you emotionally hungover from Memorial Day weekend, sporting (figuratively and literally) a full-body burn that could land you a spot on Tila Tequila? You need to find new ways to enjoy the new season. This does not mean getting intoxicated and renting the original 90210 DVDs in anticipation of the remake; post-Memorial Day prices make this a great time for local travel. Find a hot beach town and build your confidence by playing with the locals. Friday is one of the best romantic nights of the year for you, and the odds are good you’ll find a blackout drunk Luke Perry — or at least a lookalike — clamoring at the end of the bar. The planets say things should end well. Jupiter will bring gifts, and Uranus will bring surprises.
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Cancer (June 21-July 21)
There's no easy way to break this: Mars clashing with the new moon will skyrocket your expenses. So, put away the kiddy pool and return that industrial-sized tub of KY — it's time to check yourself before your vices get out of control. On the plus side, a significant other will encourage your pursuits this month. And if you haven't yet met this person, make sure new friends lead you somewhere other than a bathroom stall. Take this week to Kleenex up your life — there will be time for all things naughty when Mars comes into Taurus soon.
Leo (July 22-Aug. 22)
Jupiter rules your love sector this month, and he wants you to work on your buns at Bally's, so dust off those Converse and sweaty wrist bands. Exercising — or at least pretending to — will help you meet someone who can give you that private workout you've been dreaming about. Be careful though — Jupiter's has been jazzercising with all the love soldiers this month and teaching them to swim strong. Make sure you have a Trojan at the gates to protect you.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 21)
Lately, you've felt like your life has been teetering as much on the edge of good and bad as Lindsay Lohan's career has tottered between starlet and soft-core porn star. This will all come to a head this week: Monday is the last day to accept that looming opportunity that's been staring you in the face. A change of scenery will do you good, but make sure you're moving upwards. This isn't a time to save money by moving back in with your parents, or that psychotic ex with all the hamsters.
Libra (Sept. 22-Oct. 22)
Holiday! Celebrate! — even if Madonna doesn't get you going, the explosive power of the "golden trine" will. It may sound a little dirty, but it will give you more boost than Madonna's ten thousand dollars-per-month Kabbalah water fix. Venus's entry into Gemini means that it's time for long-distance travel and your entry into the Mile High club. Find a far-off destination where the dollar can still buy you luxury and supply anonymity — there's no time for relaxation once sun squeezes its way into Gemini alongside Venus. This means you should find your way into a couple of foreigners on Friday — your sexiest day of the spring.
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
The season for fantastic getaways is finally upon us, Scorpio! And who better to enjoy it than you? Well, anyone, really. Blame it on that pesky constellation Gemini, but it may be better to save any travel plans for a bit later on in the summer to avoid an unfortunate fate — think setting up tent cities on the lines at JFK and trying to bathe in the sinks at Newark. Why put yourself through the sweaty, stinky mess of all that, in these gorgeous last days of spring? If you stick to your local bar, the beginning of the week should be a highlight — and don't worry about the trip, the cabana boys will still be there in August.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
With Mars exerting more influence on you this week, it's time to ponder those big questions in life: Should I look for a new place or continue to put up with my messy roommate? Is that girl from the health food store flirting with me? How wrong is it for me to actually enjoy Gossip Girl? School may be out (or you may be out of school), but the end of May will have you doing some deep thinking. But don't suffer your philosophical quandaries in silence! Share these thoughts with others — a rousing discussion with an acquaintance may be just what you need to get your tongues going (in more ways than one, of course).
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
As we move into June, you may feel the urge to shell out more dough than you have, but with Mercury in retrograde, the better choice is just to browse and not buy — whether you're looking through the racks at H&M, or a crowd of cute boys at a bar. With all the bees dying, someone needs to make up for all the pollination that's not happening, so allow yourself to flit from one date to the next for a while. After all, there's nothing like a summer fling (or several) to distract you from that ever-so-dangerous call to shop until you drop (into horrendous debt).
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
Can you hear the theme from Jaws playing softly in the back of your head, Aquarius? You may not be able to, but with this combination of Venus and Mercury you may want to hum it to yourself and stay vigilant. If you're in a relationship, this week will most likely bring the return of a quarrel you thought was already dead. Unfortunately for you, as with any classic monster, there's always one last gasp before the problem is truly gone. Hide under the covers if you want, but if you get it settled by the start of June you're in for some exceptionally romantic summer days.
Pisces (Feb. 19-Mar. 20)
Thanks to the movement of Mercury into your solar fourth house, you may want to get rid of any clutter you have hanging around your apartment — the broken vacuum, the expired calendar, and that schlubby boyfriend. None of these things are working for you anymore, so take the initiative and chuck 'em. The space they provide will not only clear out your head, but may even lead to some surprising developments in your love life. You might have an especially exciting evening at the end of the week, and you'll want to make sure your bedroom is neat and tidy when it arrives.
Aries (Mar. 21-Apr. 19)
This week may bring you a surprise or two as Venus enters Gemini. It seems that someone from your past — your high-school sweetheart, your prom date, or maybe just that guy you made out with in your friend's basement — will be reestablishing contact with you, with some amorous intentions. Whether or not you will feel the same, of course, is a completely different question. Okay, so this person probably won't end up as the love of your life, but there's no harm in meeting for coffee. And aren't you curious to see if he's gotten any better in bed since those days of band practice and SATs?
Taurus (Apr. 20-May 20)
Winter melting into a big wedding, graduation and bar mitzvah month means that you've been blowing through more cash than Eliot Spitzer at 3 a.m. in Amsterdam (except no open bar and renditions of "Hava Nagila" has left you without your happy ending). However, a glorious Venus-Saturn-Pluto triangle of ecstasy means that the cash will suddenly roll in. Fun will come with the money, so best not to look for a raise at your day job: sugar mommas, impromptu bartending gigs and adult-nude-summer-camp-counselor opportunities abound.
