Dating Confessions by You "I'm wearing sexy underwear while talking to you online so that I feel confident enough to tell you that I'm into you."
Scanner by Emily Farris Today on Hooksexup's culture blog: We bring you more Dita Von Teese from the German Playboy.
Screengrab by Various Today in Hooksexup's film blog: Holiday special - 35 people, places and movies we're thankful for.
The Remote Island by Bryan Christian Michael Phelps indulges Anderson Cooper in some watersports and Dexter makes a 'bitch move.' Plus: the secret of Tina Fey's scar, revealed!
Gemini (May 21-Jun. 21)
Did that beer-for-dinner adventure this past weekend land you in an ill-conceived whirlwind romance? Mercury's retrograde signals that you should shed the old and embrace the new, so unless your name is Barack Obama and your new flame is named hooker-planted-by-Hillary-Clinton, it's time to line up a second meeting and see if you two can hit it off only mildly intoxicated and burn the midnight (massage) oil. But keep things casual and — if you're in a relationship — on the down low. This is a time for a wild fling, not a commitment or concession speech to your current boo.
Cancer (June 21-July 21)
Do you feel the urge to make it rain but don't have the greenbacks to hydrate your clouds? Wild, quick cash schemes will penetrate your brain: dressing up as a transvestite and waiting outside Hugh Grant's house is logical but ill-advised, and trying to seduce K-Fed with Chicken and Waffles and a Rick Astley dance sequence isn't a sure thing (though we would suggest it if it weren't for that menacing new moon). Just cut back on frivolous spending this week. Remember, a cheap shot of cheap whiskey or six at home works just as well as that cucumber-gin-mint concoction at the bar, and also, buying that new KY His and Her lube might be a little presumptuous, and will be terribly depressing if "her" ends up being your right hand.
Leo (July 22-Aug. 22)
The good luck swings your way this week: you'll have to work less than Li'l John to achieve your success, thanks to the sun's angle to Mars. Take the Office Space route and blow off your job — a promotion awaits when you return. Mars is in Leo, which means that you'll get to be in whomever you want. Things will get hot in your social and sex life. Take the time to enjoy something new. Try that new Thai fusion place or take off for Thailand. If you're feeling nostalgic, put your favorites in a new context; PB&J in the bedroom seems like a messy idea, but innovation is your friend this week.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 21)
Are you feeling hotter right now than an Obama-Jolie love child? If so, don't get too big of a head — Mercury's stationing in Virgo translates to some volatile times. If you have one too many, your ego is likely to push you to the limit with disastrous results: remember, loud "suicide car bomb" jokes are off-limits in the current social climate, even when you're dropping whiskey into Guinness. And while you may not remember the particulars of your behavior, you will remember everyone in the office shaking their heads at you in the morning.
Libra (Sept. 22-Oct. 22)
This week, Mars and Venus and the new Moon work almost as well together as gin and tonic and you. Once you dull that little worried voice you've been trying to shake from your head for so long, try something outrageous and outstanding. The mirror's been giving you more bad vibes than Snow White's bipolar queen, and there's a nude beach just waiting to tell you that you're more than fair. Venus will work with the moon to send a big wave coming your way and throw you into that hottie you've been craving — once your bare limbs get tangled, they'll stay that way for a while.
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
Well, Scorpio, you have quite a week ahead of you. Your eighth house is very popular right now, and as a result, you will be too. If watching the gorgeous, sweaty bodies of the new contestants on So You Think You Can Dance has wound you up recently, now's the time to let out all of that bottled up frustration. Sure, you may not know the difference between contemporary and jazz, but if you get a few drinks and hit the floor, it really won't matter. And if you already have a dance partner, let's say, then you're in luck as well. They'll be just as ready as you are to try out some new moves — so even if there are only seven positions in ballet, we're sure you can come up with a few more.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
It's time to check the lock on your bedroom door, Sagittarius — this week is going to bring you some roommate trouble, and we mean on a Single White Female level. (Speaking of which — can someone please remake that movie staring, like, Ali and Lindsey Lohan? (So meta!)) Because of the competing powers of Venus and Uranus, you'll be embroiled in this little apartment civil war for most of the week. Our advice? Get yourself some comfort food, a glass of wine, and hide away with some old magazines until the storm calms down. If you keep interaction with your roomie to a minimum, you'll both come out alive when Venus changes its position next week.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
This is a week to pick up on dangling threads, so don't talk yourself out of it by saying you're too busy. Mastering the harp, redecorating your apartment for real this time, getting up to the last borough in GTA4, taking your un-ironic devotion to candle-making to the next level — with Mercury in retrograde, all of your neglected pursuits are within your grasp, baby. And that goes for that on-again, off-again ex, too: he's unattached and up for grabs, and he always did appreciate those nimble, crafty hands of yours.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
With Mars in Leo, and Uranus blocking Venus, it's tough not to feel like your love life is being put through the wringer by a particularly irate Kimbo Slice. Fear not, gentle Aquarius! The planets are about to receive a stern talking-to from the commissioner, and you'll be first in line to benefit. Just be sure to breathe, smile, and lock eyes with the hottie with the ringside seats — when you finally make your big comeback, you want to be Dustin Diamond, not Ron Palillo.
Pisces (Feb. 19-Mar. 20)
It's a good week to tidy up around the house, you filthy pig. So dust those shelves, scan that hard drive for viruses, and be sure to throw that old sock in the wash. A little redecorating could be in order too, but don't make any big purchases quite yet — you'll regret installing the Prince-Caspian-themed Jacuzzi sooner rather than later. Once you've polished your pad, what better way to celebrate the "new" place than with a little par-tay? Venus is in just the right spot to make your home a wildly fun place to be, and also a place full of luck. Whether it's a poker game or an orgy, you'll be getting very lucky. Be sure to take advantage.
Aries (Mar. 21-Apr. 19)
With Mercury still in retrograde, things are wacky and mistakes are easy to make, so double-check that cell number before sending off naughty camera-phone pics to your special someone. And if you accidentally send them to Grandma, now might be the time for little getaway — you've got Venus, Mercury, the Sun AND Moon all telling you to get off your haunches and travel. So skip town and hit the bars because the mistakes abroad won't follow you home (unless you, uh, drunk-dial your grandma to apologize).
Taurus (Apr. 20-May 20)
Bad news: now's not the time for that financial breakthrough to pay dividends, so hold off on the large pile of scratch tickets in your glove compartment you've been saving for an OCD binge and rethink investing all of your savings bonds into starting an indie-polka-folk label. Now's the time to lay low; Pluto battles Uranus this week, and you're in for a world of hurt. So beware of dangerous situations, but if trouble does find you, the good news is you'll have some Zack Morris luck. If you play your cards right, Saturday will wrap this week's episodes nicely: it's your most romantic night this week, and the stars say there's a Kelly Kapowski ready to leave Slater for you.
, featuring curious yet marvelous infusions of cucumber and rose petal.
