Victor, 34 

What's the best way to pick up a bike messenger?  
Ask them if they want to ride around the park and drink beer after work. 
 
What's the best reason to date a bike messenger?  
It won't work if you're both messengers, because neither of you will have any money. But messengers are uninhibited and spontaneous. You'll go to a lot of parties. You might never go home from your first date. 
 
What has being a bike messenger taught you about sex?  
You can be as dirty as you want to be and nobody's going to care. 
 
My boyfriend doesn't ride a bike, but I ride everywhere. I think he may be afraid to ride. I'd be willing to teach him, but am tired of saying, "meet you there." How do I get him mobile without embarrassing him?  
You have to offer to ride with him. Or take a cab and show him the bill. Show him how much you'll save if you ride bikes. Show him it's faster. Also, tell him it's romantic to ride a bike together. 
 
My boyfriend drinks too much. I used to go round for round with him, but recently, I've been trying to cut back. Now, going to the bar is boring. Do I have to ask him to give up beer in order for this to work? 
You want to have fun at a bar and not drink? Drink apple cider and play pool. Or fuck the bar and have sex instead. Go back and forth between the sex and beer. 
 
I've been seeing this guy casually for a few weeks and I think I really like him. He just let me know that he has genital herpes. I appreciate his honesty, but I don't want to get infected. Is it fair to break up with someone because of a medical condition? 
Hell yeah, I don't want herpes either. I don't want to be scratching myself. Don't tell him you're breaking up with him because of that. Find another reason. Tell him it's not working out. 
 
I don't like going down on my girlfriend, but she's really into it. Everything else is going great; is it fair for her to break things off because I don't do oral?
No. Just say, “I don't go down — take it or leave it.” She can find some other guy to do it. I'm all about cheating. You're not married, right? 
 
I met a guy at a party and we've hung out a few times. He's cute and we have a lot in common, but he has awful breath. I want to try to keep seeing him, but I can't stand him breathing on me. Is there a way to tell him without ending the whole thing?  
Give him a piece of gum. I don't go home for days sometimes and I need somebody to tell me my breath is bad. 
 
My girlfriend wants to cut her hair short, but I really like ladies with long hair. I know it's ultimately her decision, but I think as her boyfriend I should have some say. Am I being a controlling prick? 
Yes.

Homepage photograph by Keiron Hillhouse.