Sex Advice From Pastry Chefs

Q: “What has baking taught you about sex?” A: “Give yourself more time than you think you'll need — for everything.”

By Jessica Gentile

June, 29

What the best reason to date a pastry chef?
We're more laid-back than chefs and more fun than bakers. There's a lot of sensuality, creativity and passion that goes into pastries, and that translates to life outside the bakeshop.

What has cooking taught you about sex?
Give yourself more time than you think you'll need — for everything.

All those sexy-tip manuals want you to drizzle chocolate sauce on your lover, or cover him in whipped cream. To me, that's always sounded like a waste of good food — and messy! In your professional opinion, does dessert have a place in the bedroom?
Only as an aphrodisiac. Real food gets everywhere: your hair, your clothes, the floor — just like at work. That’s extremely unsexy. Still, it’s preferable to the flavored lubes or body paints you'd find in an adult store. Those are an affront to taste. I'd rather use real whipped cream, but only if I whip it myself first.

What's the best way to pick up a pastry chef?
If you're at all knowledgeable about the food industry, talk shop a bit to impress us. Food workers are notoriously Dionysian, so you can probably get away with a dirty joke. But your best bet — if you’re trying to get a chef to come home with you — is to suggest you have some sort of laundry product that can get cinnamon or chocolate out of chef whites.

I recently gained twenty pounds and I think my partner is less attracted to me. We've been having sex less and less, and I can't help but blame myself. What's the best way to approach this subject with him?
Perhaps whatever caused the weight gain — stress, lifestyle change, a baby — could be what's troubling your partner, not the weight gain itself. Get some perspective, then try initiating sex more. It'll give you a confidence boost when he says "yes" to seeing you happy with yourself, regardless of your weight.

My girlfriend and I are staying with her conservative parents for two weeks over the holidays. She insists we remain celibate the whole time. She says it's a matter of respect, but it seems stupid on one hand, and no fun on the other. Is it okay to protest? How can I convince her to loosen up?
Suggest a romantic date night out one night, away from her family. Dinner, movie — and a hotel room. This is a nice gesture that says "I respect your familial wishes, but I still want to hump you."

Do you have to change the sheets before and after a one-night stand?
Before, only if they're notably filthy. After, yes.

My girlfriend and I have been monogamous for nine months. She's on the pill and we're curious about not using condoms — but also kind of nervous. Everyone says it's so much better; do you think it's worth the risk?
If you're worried about the risk of pregnancy, then you can always "double up" on birth control by using a diaphragm or IUD while on the pill. It does feel different, but not awesomely better enough to justify going without, if that's your only means of protection.