In honor of the U.S. Open, we'd like to inform you that our preferred surface is hard.
As you may have heard, the U.S. Open is currently occupying the hearts and loins of the national consciousness. All that running, all those tanned thighs, all the grunting… it's a beautiful thing. And we at Hooksexup are dedicated to two things: education and arousal. So, in the spirit of combining the two, we're presenting this companion to our informative piece on the Summer Olympics. Here now is your informative guide to the U.S. Open, illustrated via unintentionally erotic photographs. Explanations are, of course, sourced from only the most well-respected (read: Wikipedia) of experts.
"The modern game of tennis originated in Birmingham, England in the late 19th century as 'lawn tennis.' It had close connections both to various field ('lawn') games such as croquet and bowls as well as to the older raquet sport of real tennis."
"Players use various grips during play, including the Continental (The 'Handshake Grip'), Eastern (Can be either semi-eastern or full eastern, usually used for backhands), and Western (semi-western or full western, usually for forehands) grips."
"In recent years, some controversy has surrounded the involuntary or deliberate noise caused by players' grunting."
"In terms of adaptation, well-trained tennis players have significantly lower resting heart rates and blood pressures and higher heart volumes than untrained controls."
"The DecoTurf surface at the US Open is a fast surface, having slightly less friction and producing a lower bounce compared to other hard courts."
"Balls wear out quickly in serious play."
"A competent tennis player has eight basic shots in his or her repertoire: the serve, forehand, backhand, volley, half-volley, overhead smash, drop shot, and lob."
"Part of the appeal of tennis stems from the simplicity of equipment required for play. Beginners need only a racket and balls."
"A tennis match is intended to be continuous. Because stamina is a relevant factor, arbitrary delays are not permitted. In most cases, service is required to occur no more than 20 seconds after the end of the previous point."