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6. Julianne Potter (Julia Roberts), My Best Friend's Wedding

My Best Friend's Wedding is one of the classics of the genre, even though Julia Roberts' Julianne doesn't get the guy in the end. But she does remain friends with her titular pal (and secret love) despite the fact that she goes straight-up crazy. In a dazzling display of selfishness, she attempts to sabotage the wedding of Dermot Mulroney and Cameron Diaz because she's somehow decided that ruining her friend's life will drive him into her arms. She goes so far as to impersonate Diaz's father, which is probably illegal but definitely batshit insane.

 

7. Everyone, Sex and the City

People tend to forget that Sex and the City the TV series was actually pretty enjoyable, mostly because Sex and the City the movie was so awful. (We will not speak of the sequel here. That is forbidden.) During the transition to the big screen, the show's four leads went from endearing if sometimes frustrating gals about town to shrill and outlandish caricatures: Miranda the dour, Samantha the nymphomaniac, Charlotte the poop joke, and Carrie the self-involved. Once upon a time, it was actually fun to spend thirty minutes with these women in their fantasy of Manhattan, but in theaters, they were barely recognizable.

 

8. Tom Hansen (Joseph Gordon-Levitt), (500) Days of Summer

Look: Joseph Gordon-Levitt is cute, charming, and a talented actor, and we here at Hooksexup are very much in his camp. That being said, his character in (500) Days of Summer is both smug and overly self-involved, and no amount of dimples can overcome that. Despite being told — very, very clearly — that Zooey Deschanel's character doesn't want to settle down and get married, he spends the entire film wondering why she won't settle down with him and get married. (Maybe this is why you shouldn't go to your six-year-old sister for relationship advice.)

 

9. & 10. Abby Richter (Katherine Heigl) and Mike Chadway (Gerard Butler), The Ugly Truth

Both of these actors could find themselves on this list for multiple roles, but The Ugly Truth features Katherine Heigl and Gerard Butler in their most annoying forms as human embodiments of books like Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. In this tired opposites-attracting tale, we discover that — get this — men think with their penises and women think with their hearts. (The poster helpfully illustrates this idea, in case you're having trouble grasping it.) The characters are hardly recognizable as humans, while the gender politics would've been out of date two decades ago.

 

Want to meet a man who thinks with his heart, or a woman who thinks with her, uh, penis? Meet them on Hooksexup.

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