5 Songs We Love That Are Secretly Creepy
"Blurred Lines" is a problem we're bored with. Here are five more catchy yet creepy songs you didn't know to complain about.
By Johannah King-Slutzky
You know these songs. They're the songs you disavow until you catch yourself whistling along in the shower. Robin Thicke might have a big d̶i̶c̶k̶ PR firm, but somehow I don't think that's the reason folks are watching his video. You could write an academic expose on the objectification of women in pop music or you could sit down, open a bag of funyuns, and watch musicians roll cars down a model's ass. Prove you have a dirty mind and a rock hard knowledge of New Wave by playing these questionable songs at your next wienie roast: We don't endorse the content, but dang, these songs are catchy. You know you want to.
1. Oingo Boingo, "Little Girls"
I love little girls they make me feel so good
I love little girls they make me feel so bad
When they're around they make me feel
Like I'm the only guy in town
Please also note the appearance Peter Dinklage, the man who plays Tyrion Lannister in Game of Thrones.
2. Notorious B.I.G., "Respect"
Yeah, Biggie loves respecting the ladies. He'll respect the shit outta them all night long. Skip ahead to 4:30 to hear one of the wettest, sloppiest, most cringeable blow jobs in hip hop.
You know I don't do this. I don't even know how to do this. [Slurping ensues]
(BJ gross-out runner up: "Slob On My Knob," by Three Six Mafia. Not offensive enough, didn't make the list.)
3. Frank Zappa, "Catholic Girls"
We could have chosen basically any Frank Zappa song for this list, but "Catholic Girls" holds a special place in my heart for its offensive yet political message. Double standards in religion, amirite? You don't get that kind moral education in "Why Does It Hurt When I Pee."
Catholic Girls, do you know how they go?
Catholic Girls, in the Rectory Basement
Father Riley's a fairy but it don't bother Mary
4. The Police, "Don't Stand So Close To Me"
What's better than drunk-singing "Roooooxanne" on a Friday night? Nothing. But this Police classic about illicit student-teacher love is a solid runner up.
It's no use, he sees her
He starts to shake and cough
Just like the old man in
That book by Nabokov
5. Ted Nugent, Cat Scratch Fever
I've been saving this song for the fated day in which I put together a cat themed playlist. (Tom Jones's "What's New Pussycat" will be the opener, Marc Bolan's "Cat Black The Wizard's Hat" will be second.) Don't worry, Ted; "Cat Scratch Fever" belongs on this list, too.
Well, the first time that I got it I was just ten years old
I got it from some kitty next door
An' I went to see the doctor and he gave me the cure
I think I got it some more