Six Haiku About Anderson Cooper Coming Out

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We heard the shocking news and called for our staff poet; moments later, a dove fluttered through the office window, clutching a scroll in its beak.


"Mr. Cooper's gay!"
Said five texts from relatives
Um, yeah, guys, we knew


Privacy's your thing?
No biggie, but here's a tip:
Avoid prime-time TV


His show: 360
Which is a way to say round
His pecs: also like that


Anderson Cooper
Imma let you finish but
Don Lemon still wins


Apropos of naught:
Once I saw him at the gym
Later, saw his butt


Harsh locker-room light
Study in circles, melon-like
Anderson Cooper's butt

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