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        "There's not much time," she said.
        "You mean, I could get arrested?"
        "It's illegal here to have sex with just one being."
        "It's illegal where I'm from to have sex without being married to one being. But everyone does it. My best friend recently got eight years for fingering with intent to coital. He'll be out in three with good behavior, but still . . ."
        Her grapefruit eyes looked at me with tremendous compassion. I had so many questions, but like any encounter with a foreigner, I didn't want the situation the turn into a discussion panel.
        "Lie on the bed," she said. "There isn't much time."
        "Where are we?" I asked, beginning to fear the worst again.
        "The house of my family."
        The bed was the size of some people's front yards. "I kind of thought we'd go for a walk or something, you know, get to know each other?"
        She instructed me to lie down, at which point she stood over me. Suddenly, my whole body got sucked up inside her. I held my

    Again, I got sucked inside.

    breath, but I was too compartmentalized to touch myself. Then my entire body stiffened, and I became so numb with pleasure I began to lose consciousness.
        "Quiet," I heard her say from outside.
        I awoke from a nap of some sort, somewhat delirious. Another creature, only slightly shorter and with less spots, stood beside Z)(Z. "This is my mother," she said.
        I waved casually.
        "She'd like to spend some time with you on the bed."
        "She what?"
        The mother's eyes blinked slowly. "She comes from a different planet, where one-on-one sex with the daughter's mate was common. Unfortunately, her kind were decimated by a long war."
        "That is unfortunate," I said, picturing my wife's mother.
        "Don't worry," Z)(Z said, "I'll be right here."
        I felt an overwhelming sense of peace in the room.
        The mother now stood over me, lowering her body onto my head. "Should I?" I said, "hold — " Again, I got sucked inside, except this time it smelled a little more musky. As my body grew stiff, something crept up my ass, it felt like a leaf or something. It tickled, and I welcomed the pleasure . . . until it bit me. "Ow!" I screamed. My legs began to tremble, and I worried I might die. I called my wife. Luckily, she picked up. "Hi," I thought.
        "Where are you?" she thought, "you sound like you're in a tunnel."
        "I just want you to know I'll always love you."
        "I know, sweetie but. . . maybe it's time you've moved on."
        "Don't — " The connection failed.
        I slipped out of the mother and onto the bed. I grew sleepy again, from thoughts of my wife or this experience I wasn't sure. Were they drugging me? I instantly regretted having called my wife. Still, I tried not to be mad at myself for trying. "I think I want to stay here!" I blurted.

    "You can eat something," she said, "and meet my father."

        The mother said something in a sound I found utterly soothing. "My mother senses you are drowning in a past love. She'd like to offer you what you would call a 'mineral' to rid yourself of this affliction."
        "No!" I whined, "I'll manage to get through it on my own. I'm tired of fucking pills!"
        "Good choice," Z)(Z said, "because the mineral was death. But our kind usually transcends to another planet after we die. What place would you transcend to?"
        I lay there, too tired to answer.
        "You must be hungry," Z)(Z said.
        "Yes. So long as I stay away from your mother's 'minerals.'"
        "Come with us," she said, ignoring my joke, "you can eat something, and meet my father."
        "Uh," I said, "on second thought —"
        "Don't worry," she said, "he won't touch you like that."
        It took some strength, but I stood up. They'd begun to converse casually in that strange language. I enjoyed being in their company, I decided. Though I was deathly tired, I suddenly found myself running across the gigantic bed to reach them, trying not to stumble atop the soft cushioning.
     


      

         













    ©2006 Tom Lombardi and hooksexup.com.

    Comments ( 10 )

    Jun 23 06 at 1:32 am
    DJC

    This is one of the funniest and most memorable stories I've ever read on this site. It's also has a touch of sadness. Great work.

    Jun 23 06 at 1:03 pm
    ted

    splendid ... great concept and story, liquor sponsor notwithstanding.

    Jun 23 06 at 1:15 pm
    f

    felt like one of those stories that's so vivid it feels like a movie. sex. suspense. sci-fi. can it be a movie?

    Jun 23 06 at 3:21 pm
    VA

    Mr. Lombardi has pulled off a beauty here. I looked his website up and that's some damn funny stuff too. If I weren't an insecure, competitive little prick I'd say he's the real deal. Regardless, I hope y'all enjoyed this as much as I. Who knew a grandson of Vince could be such an aesthete?

    Jun 23 06 at 3:58 pm
    p

    Writer:
    Amazing story. REally provacative stuff.

    Jun 25 06 at 7:09 pm
    twa

    OK Lets go!

    Jun 26 06 at 10:52 am

    Fascinating. Keep up the good work!

    Jun 26 06 at 4:47 pm
    cj

    one of the most original stories i've read on your site. love the writer's take on the future, thinking taking the place of speaking, manages to be both orwellian and sexy. a great read!

    Jul 17 06 at 7:57 am
    DC

    That cell phone working off of thought thing is creepy. Love the alien sex - captain kirk never got his hole body sucked up inside an alien, which is too bad. good imagination!

    Aug 06 06 at 11:13 am
    djs

    I thought this was well written. It kept my interest and his imagination knows no bounds.
    I did not find it erotic however, it only reminded me of the old joke that a man spend the first 9 months of his life fighting to get out and the rest of his life tryong to get back in.."
    Despite the lack of erotic material-I enjoy well written erotica-i wanted more and hope there will be further chapters.
    I also wanted to add that the many little gadgets mentioned added so much ambience to this story.
    The little details were gold.

    Add a Comment

    ABOUT
    THE AUTHOR:
    Tom Lombardi's fiction is forthcoming in McSweeney's Quarterly, and has appeared in Fence, McSweeneys.net, and Opium. His website is www.tomlombardi.org.