Five Things I Learned from Dating a Midwesterner
A New Yorker confronts her own biases.
By Sonia Aurora
I cried the day my family moved to the suburbs. I couldn't walk down to the bodega for milk anymore — I had to drive. Like most people who grew up in cities, I was biased against anything away from New York; even something as close as the Jersey Shore seemed alien to me, a bona fide vacation spot as exotic as beaching in Miami or Cancun. So imagine my culture shock when I fell — hard — for an Iowa boy. I met Scott at my best friend's wedding in Lake Tahoe; he was the groom's brother. He was funny, sharp, and sexy as hell. I left that weekend smitten and forlorn — there were 1,700 miles between us.
Four years later, we're still making it work. Now, I've managed to explore several cities in the heartland, from Chicago to Cleveland, Des Moines, Kansas City, St. Louis, and Omaha. And I've discovered that many of my preconceptions were actually misconceptions. Here's what I've learned from dating a Midwesterner:
1. East Coasters can be snobs.
In the four years we've been together, I've noticed an East Coast snobbishness I was blind to — and a part of. When I first started talking about the Midwest, people seemed in awe, as if I was talking about a foreign land. I then started to notice prejudices both silent and vocal when I'd mention going out to see him or contemplate relocating there. Polite people did a lot of um-ing and ahh-ing, but others asked, incredulously, "Why would you leave New York?" I realized how arrogant I myself could be during an early visit when Scott, who hunts and fishes, offered me deer meat. I thought to myself, "Don't you mean venison?" It's the same thing, but in New York, we feel the need to dress it up. Out there, it is what it is.
2. The Midwest is more liberal than I thought.
During 2008, on the drive out from the airport and through various towns in southwest Iowa, I saw as many Obama/Biden lawn signs as I did McCain/Palin. I was forced to admit I'd imagined gun-toting conservatives camouflaged in the cornfields. And yet, I felt no one-dimensional thinking out there. You need proof? Same-sex marriage became legal in Iowa two full years before it did in New York. Take that, liberal coasts.
3. Guns can be kind of nice.
The first time I visited Scott in Iowa, Christmas of 2007, he showed me his rifle collection. Sometime later, he confessed that he'd been worried about sharing that part of himself, because I'd never been exposed to anything like it. And I confess I actually was a little freaked out. But the Midwesterners I've met are responsible and treat their guns with respect. I can't say I'm schooled in the difference between a muzzleloader and a .30-06, but it does appeal to me that we'd be able to survive in an apocalyptic future based on his knowledge. Sure, my feminist side turns up her nose when I say Scott makes me feel safe, but I dare her to spend a night alone in farmed terrain.
4. Good food exists outside New York.
I love food, and New York might have the greatest variety in the world. But food with Scott has been exciting and varied too. Along with my introduction to deer meat, I've had homemade brisket and pulled pork, barbequed for hours upon hours. And surprisingly, I learned to love sushi in landlocked Omaha's Blue Sushi restaurant. I introduced Scott to tandoori and curry at another Omaha place called Indian Oven. We've taken the drive out to Kansas City for ribs. There is a Mexican contingency in and around Iowa and Omaha, and I ate an incredible cheese enchilada at Nettie's. I've never had a better one, and I've been to Mexico.
5. Midwestern men are a different breed.
To put it mildly, there are few metrosexuals in Middle America. An ex of mine used gel every day, and I hated not being able to run my fingers through his hair. Scott is a button-down shirt and jeans kind of guy. It's refreshing. Granted, the silent part is a little harder to bear; while I frantically will turn my cell off and on and remove/replace my battery when I can't find a signal, Scott can spend a week on Lake Oahe in South Dakota without reception. But communication barriers notwithstanding, I've never doubted his loyalty to me even with his being so far away, and I've never felt that level of trust for past boyfriends who have lived within walking or driving distance. More than anything, dating Scott has opened my eyes to a version of the world I had blinders to. As we get closer to our next step, my love for Scott is worth a lot more to me than Broadway shows and subways. And if you ever get a chance to look up at the star-filled skies blanketing the Midwest night, I guarantee they give the lit windows of the Empire State and Chrysler Buildings a real run for their money.
Commentarium (132 Comments)
It seems really condescending when you refer to the Midwest as "out there."
Born in and raised in Des Moines, IA all my life and believe me we are out there!
yeah, this article just reminds me of why i never want to live on the east coast.
+1
this article reminds me of why i never want to leave the east coast.
I think you guys are overanalyzing a bit too much. She's basically saying that she was wrong to have these preconceived misconceptions so what's the problem? To say that this article reminds one why they don't want to live on the east coast is to behave exactly like the author says she used to. Sometimes I wonder why the good Lord allows us to even write and talk....seems pretty useless at times as your damned if you do and damned if you don't.
@l: Your comment reminds me why I never want you to leave the east coast
L was just saying what ale said, I am woundering my Johnny did pass the same comment to ale.... funny.
Correction: "I am woundering why Johnny"...
"The Midwest" comprises a large area that includes rural, suburban, and metropolitan areas. Chicago is more urban than almost anywhere else in the States, and Cleveland and I presume Madison, WI have their share of urban-like features. so I feel like this article is a bit of a stretch and doesn't really have a clear description of what "Midwestern" is. This seems to be more about rural vs. urban differences, and a rather simplistic generalization at that.
Isn't that the point? It sort of reflects the unjustified dichotomy that exists in the mind of a New Yorker... There's New York, L.A., and whatever the hell's in between.
Yes, it does reflect that.....and goes no deeper.
Fair enough.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Two rational adults are commenting on Hooksexup?
End of days.
After having met a New Yorker who asked me if Cleveland was in Iowa, I realized how true this was:
https://www.northstarnerd.org/.a/6a00d8341c5fd253ef0120a66e5973970c-450wi
@Olli: Hilarious, I love it!
@ibg: Excellent points, but don't forget the Twin Cities, which have a much bigger population than either Cleveland or Madison.
"Guns can be kind of nice"
Wow, you and your boyfriend are such stereotypical urban and rural people it's hard to imagine you being real. I'm a lifelong New Yorker, but really -- the fact that the midwest has liberals as well as conservatives (hence it being a battleground area every election) and good food (especially meat & three restaurants and mexican) and the fact that all gun owners aren't crazy was this revelatory for you? I think the snobby New Yorker is calling from inside the house.
Agreed; well said.
Guns can be nice. I used to be indifferent to guns, even a bit anti-gun until I started shooting for sport. I started with a nice 12 gauge. Much to my surprise it did not kick like a mule and it isn't a blast of leaving behind a field of destruction. A well placed .357 magnum can do more damage than any buckshot. Shooting rifles is also fun. It is extremely difficult to hit a moving target from a distance. After learning to handle guns, I now have more respect of safe gun owners and laugh at the shooting from the hip bs in movies.
There is nothing more trite than yet another tale of a "fast-paced urbanite" succumbing to the American fetish of "simple folk". You can be an authentic person who is also an East Coaster or a Californian. Just be who you are and embrace it. You don't have to feel guilty or phony for living the life you know, just because popular media keeps ramming this "The Real America" mythology into our skulls. It's like Liz Lemon says, for the 80th time, no part of America is more American than any other part.
I demand more charming "fish out of water" stories! Where'
Calling deer meat venison is no more snobby than calling cow meat beef.
Lousy Gallicisms!
funny how nobody says "chicken meat".
or fish meat. Here, have some fish meat
Take a drive north sometime - I lived out in the midwest and Rocky Mountain region for years, and when I had to move east for work the people of Maine welcomed me wholeheartedly. Maybe "midwesterner" is just another work for "good people".
Don't stereotype. Have you met more than half of all midwesterners?
cause I have... and let me tell you.
Tell us what...?
i'm a midwesterner! having lived out east for several years and in europe for a few more it's always good to come home. we have the highest amount of restaurants per capita (a zombie themed burger joint? bosnian? vietnamese? all within a 10 minute drive. boo yah), some of the friendliest, most helpful people, no traffic to speak of, and who cares if we're a little behind in fashion...at least i don't have to keep up with the jones' and pay more for shoes than i do for a car. so, please, stop taking our decent men.
sincerely,
a single midwesterner
+10
"Gosh, you mean the people out there are just like us?" While I'm glad the author of this article managed to learn what seems painfully obvious, it speaks more of the stereotyping that East Coasters do of EVERYWHERE ELSE. This is sort of like how in Canada, everybody makes fun of Toronto for thinking they are the center of the Universe. Torontonians seem to think everybody else in the world is part of the same backwater dumb hick town.
Sounds like Matthew might be Canadian, that would make since that he doesn't understand the article. Don't try and compare Canada to America.. it's just sad.
Too bad I'm not Canadian.
But by the way that was phrased it sounds like you want to be.. so pretty much the same thing.
Hmm that's an interesting and weird assumption to make.
blacktopsurfer2323, YOUR mom, didn't mind that I was a Canadian when I was canucking her last night, EH.
Also, Matt, we don't just THINK Toronto is the centre of the universe.. I have had people TELL me as much. And I kind of guffawed in response.
blacktopsurfer2323 '.. it's just sad.' Don't try to write like a 14 year old unless you're texting or you are 14... I'm sorry, are you 14?
"As we get closer to our next step, my love for Scott is worth a lot more to me than Broadway shows and subways."
seriously???
As the author of the piece, I just want to point out that the editors did tighten up some of the article and in doing so some things came out more blunt or less, I don't know, heartfelt? My original line for this was "As we get closer to our next step, my love for Scott overpowers my convenience of Broadway shows and subways." Hope that makes me sound less snobby (or insert opnion here).
It clearly doesn't change the meaning of the sentence enough to detract from the snobbery at its core . All they did was clean up your grammar. Deflecting all of your criticism onto the editors? Very tacky.
I wasn't deflecting all the criticism on the shoulders of the editors - but this one edited line did bug me as the absence of the word "convenience" changes the context significantly. People are either going to agree, disagree, or roast me over the coals. I was surprised by the last one and wanted to defend part of it.
I don't understand why people are so angry about this article. Was it a little condescending? Perhaps, but the whole point is that at least she's admitting she learned something. I take it for granted that there are still people who fear guns etc., but I found the tone of this article to be kind and open-minded.
+1 Everyone is so quick to be pissy these days.
I can see how people think this is condescending, but she's dead on in the general idea that some people - from big cities, or coasts, or however you want to define them -can have preconceived notions about those who aren't from there. After moving from San Francisco to Dallas, it took me a few years to admit to myself and my friends back in California that yes, parts of Texas were actually really great. Not the Rick Perry part, but the queso part, the warm nights part, the so-friendly-it-didn't-seem-genuine part (now living in Boston, people here could take a lesson on that).
We all have preconceived notions, even the people who didn't like this piece, who probably can't admit to their own.
Agreed. And well said.
nah, that wasn't it. Not against the topic, I just didn't think the piece was interesting or said anything new. The description of Texas that just wrote is more interesting than anything the author wrote, to me.
Even east coasters can agree Bostonians are snobby slobs.
I think the author meant a Mexican "contingent" rather than a Mexican "contingency." A contingent, in this context, would refer to a group of people, whereas a contingency means an event.
duh, i did mean that...
thats right hon,wait til he drops his pants and you get some of that midwestern cornfed beef...
It's pretty true. I feel in love with a Wisconsinite and moved out here in 2001 from NY. You have no idea the "culture" shock when you move out here. Life is slower. People are nicer. Even though we're not together as of this summer, I still have yet to return to NY...I think I love it here...
It's almost like people from (sorta) the middle of the continent are human too! Quick, someone call the Chicago Tribune! Oh, sorry, I mean The New York Times.
Next time you're in Kansas City order burnt ends. Ribs are for the tourists.
I am a New Yorker. I spent a big chunk of my career in Chicago. There were always references in the papers and on the TV news to New York, and the aspects of life in Chicago that "rival" New York.
From time to time, people would ask me "What do people in New York think of Chicago?" My answer was always the same, "They don't." New York is a culturally self-sufficient universe. It's different from other places in America that self-consciously measure themselves against other places.
That being said...Chicago is a wonderful place. I would move back tomorrow if I could.
Yes, a lot of New Yorkers are oblivious to the rest of the country. Yes, a lot of people in other places in the country resent New York, in a crazy, bitter, unhinged kind of way. Don't like New York? Don't go there! Don't live there! See how easy that was?
I think this nails everyone I've ever met from New York and Chicago. The Chicagoans are obsessed with New York, as well as their Second City status. The New Yorkers only realize there is anything else to the US because they happen to have traveled outside of NY for awhile. What's funny is that the Chicagoans have this inferiority complex about NY and then take out their frustrations by condescending toward other midwestern cities like Detroit, Milwaukee, Cleveland, St. Louis.
I've lived in Chicago for a long ass time, and the people who are obsessed with Chicago v New York comparisons are ex-New Yorkers who have recently moved to Chicago & Chicagoans who went to New York for college, job, etc, aspired to pass as New Yorkers, but ended up back home. Other than those two groups (which leaves out most of the people living in Chicago), honestly, no one give a damn.
And people who live in Manhattan deem themselves better off than people who live out in the boroughs. So much pride and competition with these dang city folk!
Haha, Rafael, you should come to the west coast. Here, no one's very clear on just what goes on east of Idaho. The east coast may as well not exist.
yeah, people in Appalachia have the same like self-sufficient enclosed-system attitude. It's like, you know the same way you could ask a New Yorker "have you ever been to Tennesee" and they'd be like "why would I want to go there?" like if you ask someone from (even small city! not rural!) TN if they've been to NY it's the same thing most of the time it's like "why would New York ever interest me at all"
The only reason people live in the midwest is because they don't know any better. I think it's the inbreeding thing.
Haha funny but no. I've lived in Phoenix and New York for a few years but being raised in Des Moines, IA made me realize how lonely those places are. There is nothing good about waking up, going through your day, and going to sleep and feeling unnoticed. People aren't polite and don't have a care for the person sitting next to them. That's why I'll never live somewhere outside of the midwest again. Who wants to raise a kid in New York or LA. The Midwest is about family and friends. Utah has to be the only place that I've been to that has resembled the midwest, but with a little more prejudices.
Well, sure, compared to Phoenix, just about any place would be a delight.
I'd rather be dead in California than alive in Arizona!
Smoothie, I've lived on both coasts and in multiple points in between. I CHOOSE to live in the Midwest because I like the pace, the people, and the ability to experience both "high-brow" culture and activities that are rare on either coasts. I'm staying.
From what I hear, Phoenix used to be pretty cool... And hippy friendly too. Not sure what happened.
And you should check out what rent is here. People can still afford to buy actual houses.
Actually, I think most New Yorkers who come to Chicago purposefully look for self-references. I've been living in Chicago for 11 years, and I've found that the vast majority of Chicagoans don't think about New York or LA. Most of the time, they're busy plotting their vacations in Wisconsin, Minnesota, or Michigan.
all people in NY do is delude themselves into believing people envy them and that they somehow matter...if it were not the farming/agricultural industry alot of you would be eating out of a trash can and starving--good luck ya elitist dopes.Btw,Mark Sanchez is a hack for a QB.
Irrelevant Sanchez jab +1
let me guess uh huh right: you're a packer fan?
I usually don't give a damn what people on the coasts think of the Midwest, but after reading this utterly repulsive article, I at least want vegan New Yorkers to know that there are plenty of Midwestern vegans and vegetarians, and you can live in the Midwest without having to deal with the orgies of killing and meat-gorging this author seems to enjoy.
the writer is incredibly close-minded... which seems common among people who migrate to nyc. snobbing = bonding in manhattan.
WOW, repulsive, really?
You sound of bitterness, maybe you need to start eating meat. It looks as though it's really effecting you. NYC people can be snobby, but at least she admitted her ways of thinking were wrong. What's your excuse?
I live in the midwest, grew up here, and the author has clearly only seen the "suburban" or even urban parts of this area. If you live in rural America, you won't see many Obama signs, and people are backward, ignorant and completely self-righteous in a lot of ways. Some stereotypes are based in fact. There are no good restaurants in my small town, save for the mexican joint, and the surrounding communities are exactly the same. There is little to offer socially or entertainment-wise, especially to young people. New Yorkers can be snobby because they are exposed to and experience things people in the midwest miss out on.
It's amusing to read all the negative reviews of this story about a woman broadening her horizons by purportedly open-minded, enlightened beings. C'mon folks, remember every person grows at a different pace and in different ways. Now, how about some of that Hooksexup-style toleration we're all supposed to show?
We're supposed to be tolerant and open-minded? I thought we were going for bitchy and hipper-than-thou.
Right? Nobody in this comment thread seems to understand their hypocrisy. Here's a woman saying : "Here's what I learned that was wrong about my preconceptions," and all the commenters are saying "You're an idiot and you've reinforced my perfectly valid preconceptions."
I think it is because even in her realizations of the Midwest she is still reinforcing blatant stereotypes. Also it is written as if the Midwest needs a coastal acceptance.
Plus this article reads like a treacly diary page from a girl who has watched too many Sex and the City episodes.
Yeah, exactly. All this article does is reinforce stereotypes about the Midwest. To the author: the Midwest is a big place. Even using the term the Midwest when what you really mean is "Iowa" is kind of ignorant. "4. Good food exists outside New York."? Give me a fucking break.
I do admit I've watched too much Sex & The City. And the editors edited down my references to more of the midwestern cities I've also been able to visit and enjoy.
Blue is terrible. You go there to be seen there, not to eat there. If she was interested in ACTUAL food, there are at least 6 better choices in Omaha, including the $19.99 all-you-can-eat deals.
Blue and Nettie's? Really? Could have done way better. Indian Oven is acceptable. But Omaha is known by locals and visitors for having pretty great restaurants and those aren't them.
recommendations? last time i was there no one could give me any idea of where to go for something unique and local. ended up at california taco.
This is the liberal literally equivalent of “I am not racist some of my best friends are black.”
Pretty disappointed. I'd hoped the author would highlight the social and personality differences between rural midwesterners and New Yorkers--assuming there are any. As an East Coast person (NOT a New Yorker), I often wonder about this. She barely touched on it in #5. Her other points were so naive that I might actually believe a 16 has written this, as other commenters have suggested.
16-year-old
agreed
Definitely not 16 - thou I'm loathe to admit how old I am to then feel like I'll be attacked for being immature....
Why are appropriate, non-inflammatory comments being deleted from this post?
Five things learnt about NYC natives based on personal observations of NYC born and bred friends/lovers:
1. They're less social than transplants.
2. The kids are jaded, maybe cos the city has everything and they didn't have to pay shipping fees for everything they wanted.
3. They aren't as unfriendly as they'd like you to think.
4. They have an accent, too, as I like to remind them when they point out apropos of nothing someone's strong/"bad" Midwestern accent. I just can't imitate it because it would be construed as racist or I'd risk the ire of large, Ed Hardy-wearing young men with fierce Mets loyalty.
5. Not so much smiling.
re: 2, what are you having 'shipped' from new york? like what does new york produce there that everyone outside is forced to ship?
In other news, widening one's horizons is a good idea.
Wow, he had four fingers and a thumb just like us!
News flash: People in the Midwest can be snobs too.
This is why this article is even more arrogant.
Agreed, I can't tell you how often I listen to a New Yorker who sounds uneducated. Of course some of them don't realize it because they don't travel enough to have a broad view of the world. They just equate being a New Yorker with being superior. Actually reading, getting an education, and traveling the world (and our country) is really beside the point and a massive waste of time. Far better to just be strongly opinionated on every topic and vocal about those opinions whenever possible. Even better if you can pontificate loudly. :) Everyone will thank you for making them smarter.
um... I meant to say... where's my copy of Reader's Digest. Or Chicken Soup for the whatever...
What is this, an early treatment for a new vehicle starring Matthew McConaughey and Anne Hathaway?
I'm from Oklahoma and now live on the East Coast (New Jersey. . . yes, I know). While people around here are often ignorant of anything Oklahoman, they are at least curious. When I lived in the Pacific NW (Portland and Seattle, especially Portland), people were outright dismissive of anything having to do with the middle part of America.
I am from New Jersey, and now thanks to all those ridiculous shows based on "New Jerseyians" (which is bs, a lot of them aren't even from NJ), I am constantly defending my state. Yes, we have trees. No, not everyone is orange. A good friend of mine is from Omaha, and she's told me amazing things about the area. She's also told me some not so awesome things. It's funny. It's like... OH, right. Everywhere else. EVERYWHERE has it's pros and cons. And apparently from a comment above, militant vegans.
Provincial thinking is not exclusive to any place or time. Bias and prejudice is endemic regardless of urban or rural inclination. The ability to transcend what you think you know with what is real is limited to your attitude toward acceptance, rather than knowledge or experience. Narrow mindlessness can come in many forms. I live in Iowa and work in Illinois. Narrow minded thinking is not restricted to either coast.
"So imagine my culture shock when I fell — hard — for an Iowa boy. I met Scott at my best friend's wedding in Lake Tahoe; he was the groom's brother. He was funny, sharp, and sexy as hell. I left that weekend smitten and forlorn — there were 1,700 miles between us. "
Uh, I'm from Iowa. Do I know you?
Hmmm, not sure...
LOL, Scott, if so, then maybe we're related! I love Iowa (I moved here from New York in May).
Sonia - This was an awesome article. I am so proud of you for sharing your story! Now hurry up and move here! I miss your beautiful face. xoxo
Wow, Hooksexup readers are super cynical! I can't say I'm surprised, though.
As the author, I didn't expect such hostility, but I suppose that's par the course. I was hoping to just convey that my horizons were broadened from an admitted narrow focal point being on the East Coast. Are there generalizations? Sure. I can only say so much in an alloted number of words space. Bottom line, I love Scott, and I was wrong about the Midwest and the stereotyping I'd grown up to believe.
Commenters suck, in general
Its a pore attempt at rationalizing stereotype. If you stop talking about the region and talk about the people directly, it is blatant racism. If you were not able to deliver a better article in the allotted number of words space, maybe it should not have been an article? The comments say as much about Hooksexup publishing it as it does about you writing it. We all learn from your mistakes, it does not make them an article.
If you're going to criticize the writer, maybe you should spell check too...pore? And how is it "blatant racism"??? She misjudged a region, based on the elitism of a another region. She admitted it was wrong. Bam, done.
+1 for you on "pore: but I figured if the author could misspell "alloted" that it would not be a big deal. Remove Midwestern and but in an ethnicity! Look what happens when you when you change the title "Five Things I Learned from Dating a Black". Most racism is based or the feeling of being elite and being ignorant of others.
That being the case, even with 100 comments (and counting), I wonder how many were deleted. Like mine.
Yeah, but the way she went about it was terrible. Word limit is no excuse for an article like this. Excellent argument for New Yorkers never leaving New York.
This article reminded me quite a bit of a really great Tedtalk from a few years ago by the Nigerian author Chimamanda Adichie called The Danger of a Single Story, although it did seem to be a bit Sassy magazine-ish--a little oversimplified, overeager, and way too feelgood.
www.ted.com/talks/chimamanda_adichie_the_danger_of_a_single_story.html
Sometimes stereotypes are true, and sometimes that's because they have reason to be. The real dangers are in thinking that they are always true, and in the one-dimensionality they force on people.
Great link, thanks for sharing!
Sonia, the article was nicely written and honest. I, too, am proud of you. People making negative comments obviously have nothing better to do with their day but sit at their computer and write negative comments..... 'nuff said!
Insert mexican/black/jew/ or homosexual and rewrite the article and watch how many of these same hypocrites suporting the article start whining about racism.anti-semitism and xenophobia.Your article may be genuine,but most stereotypes get started by the delusions of HOLLYWEIRD.
Not sure I agree with you there, is my argument better supported if I say i'm hispanic? Do I acknowledge and cringe at those stereotypes? Absolutely...but many stereotypes are rooted in truth. Plus my point was to try and point out how many of those ideas were dispelled by my exposure to something different, or at least expanded upon. Hollywood definitely perpetuates these thoughts, but until we start an Occupy Hollywood rally to stop it, we're always gonna have that as a teaching ground.
So Hispanics can not be racist? That is good to know!
Obviously exposure to any reality is going to be different than you expected. I will at least give you a +.01 for stepping out. Yet that is something we should all do but very few do. I am going to bet you would be very offended if wrote an article "Five Things I Learned from Dating a Hispanic" 1) Not all Hispanic woman hold intermediate jobs, there are professional educated Hispanic women out there!
Sonia, don't take the hate seriously. I think lots of people go on the internet just to blow off steam. I've lived in New York AND the Midwest, and both sides tend to have some odd views about each other. It's cool you've found a good guy who's been able to broaden your worldview.
I'm engaged to a guy from Northern Ireland and previously unbeknownst to me, my own relatives have some WEIRD ASS stereotypes going on (No, he's never planted a bomb! No, he doesn't get drunk and beat me!) At the end of the day we're all just people.
You cannot write something and expect people not to say how they feel about what you wrote. The way you had the right to state your feelings in an article people have the wrtie to say how they feel about it. NOT EVERYONE IS GOING TO LOVE WHAT YOU DO. If you can't stand the heat get out of the kitchen....MAYBE THIS ISN'T FOR YOU. I personally enjoyed most of what you had to say. Some points were a little out there, but maybe they were ment to be comical. The only thing that probed me to comment is when I read that people's comments were being deleted, and I am sure the author is the only one with the power to do it. THAT IS NOT RIGHT!
I was going to say essentially the same. Sonia, just own what you wrote- good bad or otherwise. Your aggressive explaining and defending is making me cringe.
You both make great points - and only the website can delete the comments NOT me...I wouldn't anyway
fyi - glad scott is a catch but trust you me, there are plenty of metrosexual and/or cheating douchebags and/or hipsters here in iowa as well. and let us not forget the several times divorced (or at least several kids from several different women) dads at age 28.
Damn good article. As a midwesterner that just moved to NYC I can totally relate to this article in that often when I tell Manhattanites where I'm from they either stop talking to me or get this look of disgust like they just smelt horse shit for the first time. I've gotten over it and have actually found that the more confident and proud about being a Hoosier I am with people the more accepting they are. In fact I came out here with the exact opposite preconceived notions. As a midwesterner you're raised to believe that all New Yorkers are rude and too busy with their lives to talk to the people they run into. Ive found this to be a pretty poor stereotype. In face some of the best random meetings and polite and informative conversations have taken place in manhattan. I guess the underlying issue with all these stereotypes is that New Yorkers who despise the Midwest or midwesterners who have no love for NYC have never even taken the time to visit those places! A couple of my friends in Manhattan have been out for the Indy 500 and we had a fucking blast. Who knows maybe I'll see some of you out there this year. Turkey legs and Budweisers are on me.
NYC suffers from Groupthink. Not everyone in NY thinks like "your" NYer or has a sense of entitlement. Not taking you, the author, to task, but I've seen this all too often from NYers. It's just the steretypical "I'm so open-minded that I shut out everything that's not of my stripes."
- Coming from a left-of-center NYer.
All my friends are liberals with guns. You eat "venison", he eats "deer meat", we eat "buckmeat".
Been to NYC - a wonderland, populated by smug hustlers. It's OK.
The comments here are just amazing! Face it Sonia - there are mean people from everywhere apparently! I enjoyed your article. Try saying you are from North Dakota!! People think it's an open invitation to slam you....Guess what - I just went to the Opera a few nights ago. And, oh my gosh - most of the major role singers were from New York City! And - they have been here before and chose to return! I will defend living in the Midwest forever - and I'm sure New Yorkers, and Iowans and Nebraskans and and Californians and everyone else loves their states just as much as I love mine. But - the difference I find is - Midwesterners will not bash New Yorkers for where they live. They may shake their heads and wonder how anyone could live in NYC, but they'll be nice to you ( at least to your face :) ..... enjoy your life with Scott!!
Born and raised in mills county iowa (pacific junction!) has given me a huge appreciation for life. Live on a farm, drive a truck, love my guns, and almost exclusively listen to country. However!!!!! - Omaha has become a bigger city in the last few years, and even a country girl like me loves going to the Holland Performing Arts, Blue Sushi Sake, and trading in my blue jeans for a pencil skirt when the occasion calls. Now, I have never been to New York, but I want to at some point! Dont worry, I will leave my Wranglers on the farm :P
I think every state has its own charms and downsides (Iowa gets poked fun at a LOT) but I think that loving your roots is really the most important thing. Whether you are from California, New York or North Dakota you can love your hometown or homeMetropolis?
Blessings!