This Subscription Condom Service is the New Best Thing to Happen to Your Penis

Legends aren't born; they're laid.

by kate hakala

A basic rule of thumb is that everyone wants to get laid, but nobody wants to endure the supposed humiliation of purchasing condoms in front of strangers at the drugstore. Some businesses have tried to stave off the embarrassment with condom delivery services, like those in Dubai and the College of New Jersey, while innovative manufacturers have tried to create increasingly more discreet designs (like ONE or Mine) to try to attract the shy. 

The Cocksman Club, which launches today, is one of the first male-targeted subscription-based condom services that is looking to take safe sex viral. As a member of the club, gentlemen (and, I'd assume, ladies with masculine-sounding names) can receive a large selection of name brand condoms, like Trojan, Durex, and Lifestyles, delivered in a discreet package to their door every month. Members can choose between plans from The Player (three condoms a month for $5) to The Legend (24 condoms a month for $20). And if you're having more sex than a "legend," you might just want to just suck it up and go to Walgreens yourself.

The Cocksman Club's first commercial makes wide use of humorous, leveling language like "I'm talking about your dick," "for men with swagger," and "my dick is responsible, let's do something reprehensible." It's an impressive push to brand the use of condoms, not as merely smart, but cool and masculine. While male-driven condom commercials often focus upon sustaining pleasure, couples' fun, getting back in the game, and avoiding pregnancy, a large majority of the Cocksman Club's campaign is spent on the unsexiest of sexy topics, STD awareness. "97 percent of all of your sexual partners have STDS," the spokesperson rattles off, an obviously fake stat. 

Perhaps the joke is needed. According to the press release, only 45 percent of college students between the ages of 17 and 25 are having safe sex, and that percentage only decreases as we get older. These sky-high statistics could come from the fact that, in our culture, condoms are still portrayed as a deterrent to pleasure, a roadblock to the immediacy of sex, and well, a snug latex drag (looking at you, Greenpoint). In some instances, women are left entirely out of the conversation or held solely responsible for covering birth control. The Cocksman Club may or may not catch on, but positioning condom use as a CollegeHumor-esque, bro-y, gentleman's habit is certainly one of the more normalizing and creative pushes toward safer sex that I've seen in a while. "Safe sex is cool" has always been a tough platform to sell, but sleek subscription-based condom services could do the trick.