Wake Up With a Smile with a New Alarm Clock Vibrator

Early to bed, early to rise.

BY KATE HAKALA

If you're trying to cut your caffeine intake or have just grown tired of the Destiny's Child song you've had set as your wake up anthem for the past nine years, you might be interested in your very own vibrator alarm clock. The Wake Up Vibe looks a lot like a slim triangular iPod, only you're supposed to stuff this down the front of your pajamas right before bed time. Before you turn in, you set your wake up time, your preferred vibrating pattern, and wait 'til morning for the cock-a-doodle-do.

Comparable to The Little Rooster's snoregasm, the Wake Up Vibe is marketing itself to women who want to feel a little energized, flushed, and happier on their commute. And it's only $70 a pop, so to speak. Of course, the little fact that you are putting a large silicone disc against your vagina right before you fall asleep might be a drawback. The Wake Up Vibe team says even if you toss and turn, the vibrator will stay in place because it contours to a woman's body. To which I must ask: has anyone ever tried sleeping through the itch of a tampon string brushing your inner thigh? There's no way you can not know there is a foreign object in your skivvies.

Pros: the idea of slowly waking up to a building orgasm. Throwing away your clock radio (if you are 100-years-old). Having that "I just came" glow at work. Cons: You usually fall asleep immediately after an orgasm, guys. Not the most well thought-out strategy for your mornings.

[h/t Elle] 

Image via Wake Up Vibe.