Pin it

Peggy Orenstein has been writing about girls for 25 years. Her last book focused on what the Disney princess craziness was doing to her daughter. Her daughter is now 13 and coming of age sexually, naturally she turned her attention to teens and sex. In her new book Girls & Sex she spoke to young women candidly about sex, searching for answers on how better to teach her daughter about without ruining them forever.

In an interview with Terry Gross she brought up the idea of “multiple virginites.” She offers it as a way to perhaps reframe how we understand intimacy between girls and boys and it came from an unlikely place. A lesbian teenager:

“One of the things that was really great was in talking to a gay girl, I asked her, “When did you think that you had lost your virginity?” And she said, “Well, you know, I really have thought a lot about that, and I’m not really sure.” She gave a few different answers and then she said, “You know what I think? I think a girl loses her virginity when she has her first orgasm with a partner.” And it completely knocked me out. I thought, “Wow.” I know we’re not going to dismantle the idea of virginity, but what if we could broaden it to think that there’s multiple virginities, and what if that was one of them? That would totally shift our ideas of how we thought about girls and boys and sex.”

Thinking about different kinds of virginity makes sense. If instead of the wildly awkward story of your first time, teen girls would might start saying things like, “I lost my vaginal virginity to this guy, but I lost my orgasm virginity to that guy.” Might we be able to take the pressure off of that first experience as being the be-all and end-all sexual act? Maybe then we can help teens to understand that sex is really about trust and mutual pleasure, not a checked box. That might be due in large part on how sex is sold to us. Teens learn from porn culture now more than ever. The lure of Kardashian sexuality is packaged and sold. Careless, drunk, male-focused sex finds it way into the bedroom — all to the detriment of women.

The good news is there are all kinds of good porn out there. And as the millennials get older their more sex-positive version of virginity will get taught to their children. Then perhaps America could start to look more like scandinavian countries, who reportedly have great sex…and much lower rates of abortion, STDs and teen pregnancy. They start young and the stigma around sex is gone. In America, we have dismal sex education (or in some places no sex-ed) and in the vacuum drunken hook-up culture thrives. We would easily change that culture that in many ways causes all kinds of problems simply by being unafraid to talk to our kids. This is how sex is taught in Sweden to three year olds:

The idea of multiple virginites might sound a little funny to our ears so tuned to binaries when we think of sex. But once you understand what really good sex is like, it’s easy to look back at your teenage self and shake your head. Now instead of that weird drunken story you have in your memory, replace it with the first time you had a mutual orgasam with someone you loved. Now imagine that’s your “my first time” story. That story is the honest sex we all desire as adults. It’s time we start imparting that wisdom to the younger generation with smarter culture of sex.

dating over 50

We had been actually shopping for rings when she ended it. wisconsin hookup If you like someone s profile and the other side that individual also does the same then it instantaneously creates an alternative to start out chatting with every single other. It all boils down to being conscious of your inner self. mad men nude scenes Him and I made the selection to get an abortion simply because we are each young and in college.

free hookup in houston

As a paid member you can garnish your Tinder knowledge by having limitless swipes and even obtaining your profile prioritized amongst other members with the Super Enhance feature. doublelist huntsville You re killing a element of yourself, and it ultimately only comes back to harm your partnership. Goldenbride prioritizes the safety and security of users. best rem albums The calmer and upbeat you sound, with out expectation of a second date, the greater.

find local hookups

The lack of a uniform policy makes it possible for convicted and accused perpetrators to access Match Group apps and leaves customers vulnerable to sexual assault, a 16-month investigation by Columbia Journalism Investigations found. doublelist eugene It presents related services so users can post advertisements freely. This short article tells a story of how the planet of enjoy has now changed and got far more complex. 1980 love songs Understanding what tends to make your companion feel loved can aid you navigate conflict and place romance back into your partnership.

Comments Regardless of whether you are looking for a discreet spot to try out or maybe share your thinking, an escort site may be the perfect location. Dating online has gained popularity in recent years, therefore it only makes sense more and more people would find other individuals through on the web implies. If you're thinking about testing out online dating, here are some suggestions for free ways to connect with other part around the world! megapersonals reviews if you are interested in a totally free to hookup escort site then I get some fantastic news for you. Now there are a large number of liberated to join escort internet sites awaiting your pick-up. Try out a online hookup using the pursuing escort web sites.