Dustin Hoffman does not enjoy the Oscars

The Oscars ceremony is one of those shared lies among the Hollywood elite. Everyone has to attend, get fitted for clothes that cost more than the GDP of Tonga, wave at the paparazzi, and laugh during the terrible introductions taking place for every nominee. But look closely enough, and you can tell that most attendees would rather be anywhere else, but can't show their disdain because don't want to get blackballed by the Academy. Thing is, once you get to a certain age and prestige, you start to not give a shit and begin speaking your mind like mad.

Enter: Dustin Hoffman.

In an interview with Maxim about the new David Milch/Michael Mann HBO series Luck, Hoffman finds time to let loose on his hatred of the Academy Awards ceremony: 

It’s boring! It lasts forever, and don’t think you’re seeing spontaneous behavior. You see couples who are suddenly smooching, and, well, there’s a guy sitting on the ground with the camera at their knees.

In fact, he was so annoyed with the ceremony once that he even thought up a particular prank he was going to pull that should be highlighted:

There was one particular time I knew I wasn’t going to win, and when they’d train the camera on me as one of the losers, I wanted to be able to rip open my tuxedo shirt and just have stenciled on my chest, oh, shit. But my wife wouldn’t let me do it.

If Brad Pitt isn't getting one of his twenty kids to pick out a spot on his chest to write on right now, he's not paying close enough attention.

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