That was great -- reminded me of political conventions I'd attended in my youth, although the gay kids were much more visible at those ...

You are absolutely hilarious. Wonderfully and masterfully summing up every jewish convention I went to as a youth. I love it.

I was in BBYO in St. Louis and always loved my "country cousins" of Omaha! What a great article-brings back fond memories. What is it about our region anyway?!

What happened to all the gay kids, you ask? I was having lezzie menages w/ all my Jewish girlfriends throughout high school. Got" busted" by my georgous Jewish mother at 3:00 a.m., when she walked in on us. Thank Adonai, we were just hanging out smoking cigarettes (naked though). She had a bottle of homemade chicken soup in one hand that began to spill on her mink coat . I knew then, it was time to come out...!

So amazingly true and accurate... and yet, I though this was only an "East-coast Jew" thing. Guess it went on all over. Bravo.

Dear Rachel, My name is Andrew Rosenberg, I was a member of Pacific Coast Region BBYO from 1997 - 2002 and I just have to say that aside from this being a hilarious article, it is the most dead on accurate and perfect representation of what it was like to be in the organization. My friends (who were also in BBYO)and I could not get enough of this article, to put it mildly...we were laughing our balls off. Nicely done.

as a jewish youth group veteran, all i can say is f-ing brilliant.

Dear Rachel, I am an active member of Ohio Northern Region and this article was absolutely amazing true. I laughed out loud. I just got back from our Regional Convention... at a hotel, which made the whole thing even funnier.

I just got back from the Ohio Northern Region's regional convention... this article was sooo true and just downright hilarious.

As a goyim in a suburban Jewish community in Columbus, Ohio, I've always wondered what went on at those mythical conventions. Thanks for clarifying in such an enjoyable manner.

This is amazing. Im in BBYO in ONR which is Ohio Northern Region and its the same exact thing. its great isnt it. whats even worse are the summer programs when you get together with people from all over the country. then you know your safe to do whatever you want and it wont come back to haunt you.

I'm a female from Omaha too, and wish like hell I were Jewish!! Sorry I missed out. Nice article!

KIO is cleaner (or more prude) than MAR, but extremely accurate portrial of the attitudes of BBYOers. One of my initial reactions was "what if a parent finds this? then that'd ruin all my fun." but then i realized that this would be an awefully awkward site for a mom to be on in the first place. I have, however, seen openly gay BBYOers at Internatoinal Convention. One was awkward and disliked, and the other was flamboyant and well-liked. But i think mostly you right about the hypocritical humanism of those hippies. Today I saw a tshirt that said, "USY... Hooking up Jewish teens since 195[2]." I though to myself "BBYO... Hooking up Jewish teens for thirty years longer." From Columbus, OH

Wow! You summed up BBYO great! Those were the best four years of my life, probably because there was always the expectation and excitment of a hook up! I am so glad you wrote this! Thanks!

I'm a high-school aged Jewish girl myself, although I come from the more diverse South Florida area. Just yesterday, my temple's youth group had a chocolate syrup wrestling fest, which had to be pretty much the most fun thing EVER. And for conventions such as the ones mentioned in the article, we have a system of points for who you hook up with, with extra points given for board members.

I read this essay, and laughed so hard that tears fell down my cheeks. First off, you convey your thoughts beautifully. Amazing writer...amazing. Second, I'm from Southern California-SWR (southwestern region) BBG. although we definitly have our dirty moments, we are somehow less extreme than back in Omaha. yet, we are BBYO nonetheless! Great essay. with love for: SWR #42, hook up webs, convention!!!, and BBYO...60/80 years of hooking jewish teens up. :) -ilana winter

Oh the good old days of Omaha BBYO. Certainly a right of passage that few others understand. It really was odd, us Jews amidst all those other folks who wondered what the hell our conventions and tueday night meetings were. But it was damn fun. By the way, everything about BBYO has continued onto the internet, god help us from Jdate. Now the meat market is online, pick and choose, and nationwide. It makes me feel ashamed I didnt come up with the idea myself! Rachel, glad to see you havent forgotten us and that you are obviously doing well. Take care Jon Broder [email protected]

Dear Rachel, I am an extremely active member of the North American Federation of Temple Youth (NFTY) Southern California region. Not only am I a leader for my region, but next year, my first year in college, i will serve as a member of the NFTY North American Board. I have dedicated immense time and energy all through high school to making sure that NFTY stand true to its ideals and its core values. We, as an organization, stand on eight values: Jewish literacy, spiritual exploration, social action, leadership development, jewish community, personal growth and ethics, am yisrael, and medinat yisrael. We have VERY STRONG youth and adult leadership that remains consistently dedicated to making sure every aspect of NFTY include at least half of these values, if not all. We feel we are doing a terrific job at instilling Jewish identity. While I recognize the aspect of Jewish youth groups you've addressed, it worries me that if someone unfamiliar with the world of Jewish youth organizations were to come by with essay and read it, the impression they would be left with would be that we are ALL only in it for the sex. I can't argue that this is untrue for all, but I can tell you in resolute honesty and with all my heart and passion that jewish youth groups, especially NFTY, have changed lives for the better and have served as a catalyst to creating some of the greatest leaders in the Jewish community and in the world. We hear all the time that we are "the leaders of tomorrow." Well, I have dedicated my four years of high school and soon to be my first year of university to ensuring that Jewish teens know not only this, but also be aware that WE ARE THE LEADERS OF TODAY. So, I simply ask that you recognize and somehow address in your future writing (if there is to be any) the true values of Jewish youth grouping in North America so that the world does not have a false idea of who we are and what we do. Contact me if you'd like to talk further about this [email protected].

oh my goodness. You are so so so right! i loved this essay and have sent it to everyone i was in bbg with. You are amazing!!

I was in BBYO for five year. Yes! I kissed a few boys... at the after parties and at the conventions, but it was never this huge discussting orgy. This personal essay is soft core porn. Maybe there is something wrong in the water in Omaha that makes everyone sluts... but here in NRE... we do not act like that. And thoughs that do, usually arnt in BBYO for more than a year. If someone who wasnt familiar with what BBYO was REALLY like... they would read your essay and think not only badly about BBYO but poorly about JEWS AS WELL. Those who were dedicated to BBYO and followed the actual values of it, did not leave it with an STD. We left it with leadership skills, friendships that will and have lasted a lifetime, and a strong sense of confidence that you can only attain by hearing a roomful of people cheer your name at your states. If you think this about BBYO you have it all wrong. The people make the differnece... my chapter taught me about sisterhood. yours taught you about blow jobs. But you cant make such a horrible and publically grafic judgement about an INTERNATIONAL organization... because you can almost guarantee that its not the same everywhere. As an example... your group is full of whores... mine is full of leaders.

I am a PROUD member Of BBYO in the Connecticut Valley Region...or CVR... and danm girl BBYO is the exact same sort of thing up here. I have been the "rabbis son" axidentaly hit on a sister best friend and more or less made an ass of my self. But it is the one place were i can feel exepted and "Cool" for being a jew and wouldent want it any diferent because bbyo ROOCKS MY WORLD.

Well written and entertaining, but you clearly had a dismal introduction to BBYO. As a past member, both local and regional President, I have been to many many conventions and planned several. Of course things happen at conventions... much like they do anywhere that high school kids congregate! You make it sound like sex was the only aspect of BBYO. This is misleading and downright not true. BBYO was a fabulous organization when I was in it for leadership, Jewish learning, and a good time. I don't know what youth group you thought you were in, but ours was not based on sex.

As a former BBG'er from Florida I am appalled by this article. I was in the organization for the friendship, the leadership and Jewish education. I held every board position in my chapter and even on the council board. Yes, there were things that went on, but that was a select few and they were not in the organization for long. BBYO is an amazing organization for Jewish high school students and it was one that changed my life for the better. I joined shy and quiet and very unsure of myself and by the time I graduated high school I was a much more confident individual. Your article was offensive and inaccurate of its portrayal of a wonderful organization. You should be ashamed!

I too was a regional president, and one of the most important lessons I learned during my tenure was to maintain perspective. It seems to me that a lot of this feedback is written by past BBYO members who have let their memories get the better of the truth. BBYO is a great place for young boys and girls to forge an identity and to learn about their heritage, but most importantly, BBYO crafts leaders. You can't be an effective leader in today's secularized America without knowing a little bit about what it means to "feel cool," to borrow loosely from a previous feedback post. "Feeling cool" equals confidence equals getting some. Our society rewards premarital sexual experimentation; no, our society demands it by throwing sex at us from every angle practically right after we've finished Sesame Street. I don't understand the negative feedback at all. BBYO is what it is. It's not perfect, but what is? The NFTY people can keep their 8 principles. The benefits of AZA and BBG are undeniable. So BBYO has a bit of a seemy underbelly. Don't you? This goes out to all the lovely BBGs I hooked up with in my BBYO years. They helped me discover a beautiful world, that of the female body and mind. Just recently, I learned of the Hot List that included many of my regional and exec board members. I think the girls got props from each other for getting with the Hot List members. Very nice ladies. Keep it up. Former South Jersey Region AZA President Adam Dembowitz (1999-2000)

As yet another President from AZA I am astounded not only by your writing content but at the number of people who agree with what you wrote. I could just re-state what has already been said about missing the message of BBYO and if you did nothing but slut around while you were at events I feel sorry for you, but instead I am going to ask why would you even post this? you still enjoyed your self (obviously) mind it was in a different way then 99% of the other people in the organization , why would you slander an organization which you liked. Now to the rest of you that are still in BBYO. You still have the opportunity to enjoy BBYO for its full potential and it shows how little you are getting out of the program if you are only worried about getting ass at the next event, so I challenge you to step up into a leadership position and make good use of your time. It's way better then ending up like a whore or an asshole and being so hung up on your "experience" that you have to write about your sexual escapades online for the next 20 years. Hooking up is fine in moderation but if you go to a convention that turns into an orgy, then you should take that as a cue for you to step up and change a few things about the organization which you "love.” Fraternally submitted Greg Needel. If anyone wants to talk about what I have said please contact me. [email protected]

BBYO FUCKING ROCKS...and yes kids will be kids we like to hook up and who beter than another jew. but that not the point u can hook up and "slut" your slef out and stilll take something away from bbyo..shit becasue of this organization i am a confident, careing, sexualy knowledgd, leader...im respected by my peers and i ENJOY my self ALOt at convention. I am also soon to be a regional VP. And i dont care wat anyone else has been saying your article is awsome and kids are more sexualy active these days then wen the "old" timers were in bbyo but we still get something out of it. BBYO makes your life its wat u do when your hear that defines who u are. Gottlieb AZA chapter 2196 (69) i am and forevr will be a BBYO TOOl and proud of it

Rachel and others, I write this response as I am sitting in front of my computer, jaw dropped to the ground. My wife and I have had so many discussions/arguments over BBYO and USY. I was in BBYO in Michigan region, and she was in USY in the same region. Both of us were active at chapter, regional, national, and international levels. The bad image of USY with regards to the presence of sexual tension and a well known sense of sexuality has been exposed and they are doing the work to clean it up. But never in my life did I expect to see BBYO trashed and hung out to dry so poorly. I will admit right now that BBYO is different in every region. I will also admit that BBYO is missing some of the key Jewish components I wish it had. But your portrayal of chapter and regional level events seems quite limited and an attempt and humor and/or art rather then reality. I went to countless parties in my region that were "after-parties," and never was beer, liquor, wine, and/or illegal substances present. I know there were other parties which I did not attend that had illegal substances, but those people were always seen in a negative way. We had a zero tollerance policy at the regional and chapter level for any illegal activity, ecspecially illicilt drugs. People were kicked off of boards and expelled for such activities. I attended many overnights at a convention center that the region owns in Canada. The girls had their side of the center and the guys had theirs. There were two advisors with us, and they had very little work to do. Yes people snuck into the rooms of the opposite sex. Yes people hooked up. But it was not ever seen as the purpose for the weekend, and there was no peer pressure, and there was no feeling of sexuality being the reason we were there. I am deeply saddened to see your cynical essay has gotten so many appreciative responses. It is not representative of the BBYO I knew, nor of the BBYO we strive to have. I was at the wedding of one of my classmates this past summer and he is an alumni of BBYO along with some of his friends. The two of us will both be rabbis within a few years. The rabbi who performed the wedding, who happens to be a highly respected rabbi in the world today, is also an alumni of BBYO. At the tisch we sang Up You Men, and I was just recalling how certain people used to try to alter the words of that song into a more pornographic song. And had sexuality been the whole push of BBYO, had illicit acts been so encouraged, well then those versions would not have been banned as they were. People attempted to sing them at times and youth leaders and adults alike silenced them and made known that this was unacceptable behavior. Lastly I found your slights regarding the lack of mention of the palestinian people and the forced tears regarding the Holocaust to show your true ambitions. BBYO was and is a Zionistic, Jewish, nationalistic, culturalistic, all encompassing organization. They have a responsability to the Jewish people to teach love for Israel. I am deeply saddened to see that Israeli children being blown up by suicide bombers, matter little more, to some Jews, then the lives of the murderers. I would also like you to know that the tears that we cried in Poland on the March of the Living were genuine. That the tears we cried together at Yom Hashoah each year were genuine. And lastly, although I know this satirical article you wrote as won you much praise from Alumni of BBYO, I hope you will note the outrage and hurt that some of us (and I would like to believe the majority of us) feel when reading such material. fraternally submitted with undying love for the Aleph Zedek Aleph, and the B'nai B'rith Youth Organization Josh Hearshen

why are people being so defensive about this? i never attended this group (i don't have the creds to get in) but i think this kind of behavior is typical of American adolescents wherever they congregate. every summer camp is filled with these kinds of tales whether attended by muslims, jews, christians, or hindus. Why the prudish response w/in the organization? do these kinds of anecdotes threaten funding or just some kind of sacrosanct squeaky clean self-perception of people involved? i don't get it.

delightful essay btw, love the last line.

Wow. Thank you for this article. I am a former member of the Connecticut Valley Region and this sums up BBYO in a nutshell. This is the greatest thing I have ever written!

As one of the first regional Presidents of Mid America Region back in 1988, (encompassing Nebraska, Kansas, Missouri, Iowa, and S.Dakota) I can relate to and applaude this article. If it wasn't for BBYO, with our weekly meetings, weekend events, conventions and retreats, I probably would not have been as confident in my own skin. I was introduced to other jewish kids and given a sense of comfort socially and sexually. I had my first real kiss at a convention in St. Louis and that woman is still a good friend of mine. Most if not all of my high school girlfriends were members of our group. I was aware of others that attended conventions just to hook-up with members of the opposite or same sex, and there were ones that were there just to meet friends and learn more about our Jewish identity. Then there were the ones that were there to do both, and we ran the show! I think the article is entertaining and well written. What the nay-sayers have to realize, is that this is one person's opinion and naration one part of her BBYO experience. Not all BBYO'ers had this experience, though some are probably now regetting that. :) It is natural for youth to experiment and gossip. This is a learning experience and will shape their lives. Thank you for an entertaining article. This made me smile and brought back many wonderful memories. I even contacted a few friends about this and we all had a good laugh. With much respect for the BBYO.

I'm in Connecticut Valley Region BBYO (Regional Mazkirah chapter s'ganit) and oh my god that essay hit sooo close to home. CVR being recently named "most sexual active region," I really know what you're saying. Although I've never given head under a banquet table, I have given my fair share of head at convention. SOme of my clsoest BBYO friends smoked pot for the first time at BBYO after parties. And yes. My parents love it.

First of all, this story is an accurate portrayal of one of the many aspects of BBYO. Her story is recieving praise by (mostly) current members of the organization because it is relatable. Although the story is perhaps an exaggeration of the experiences we had while in BBYO, there is no doubt that most of us can relate in one way or another to the tale she tells. She does not portray BBYO in a negative light, and in fact she lauds the organization for the experiences it did give her. Anyone who is/was affiliated with BBYO would like to say that "BBYO inspires and uplifts the Jewish youth of the world to make something of themselves and to teach them the ways of life." To say that this woman's story does not apply to that statement is just simply false. ONE OF THE MANY things that BBYO gave her was a place to experiment sexually. There is no need for shame in that on behalf of BBYO as a whole--BBYO has provided that service for many people. Second of all, this is a true story of one woman's experiences in BBYO. Each person's experiences in BBYO are substancially different yet equally meaningful in our lives. She tells a nice, true story and I applaud her for that. Lastly, as a note to any parents of BBYOers that might be reading this article, let me say that your son's or daughter's involvement in BBYO in no way implies that they are sexually active, using drugs or alcohol, or all-around being bad children. BBYO is a place where, yes, there is the distinct possibility that your son or daughter will be exposed to these "bad" things. However, BBYO does not encourage these activities, and in fact will punish a kid (quite harshly in some cases) for involvement in said actions. You should take resolution that if your child makes the decision for his/herself to partake in such "pleasures" that he/she will be surrounded by people who truly care about him/her. I emphasize strongly that BBYO is one of the greatest things that can happen to a teenager--it is their decision what they will get out of it (leadership, self-understanding, great friends, morals, religion, and yes, if they decide it for themselves, a reckless abandonment of "the rules"). Sincerely, G. Wright...yet another past regional president.

Let me just say... i got my first kiss at a bbyo event and well.... it just progressed from there... there are so many people who are arguing with this article, and they are probably the few that never got ass... sorry kids you missed out on great a great learning experience!! Jews, christians, catholics.. whichever one you are you put a whole bunch of kids together in a hotel you are going to get late night education.

Your article is inciteful, but you neglect to point out that BBYO does not produce or facilitate promiscuity. Instead, BBYO tries to treat young adults as leaders, sending them to conventions and retreats where they will be *shock* on their own. When teenagers are alone together, there will always be a risk of sexual expirimentation (if it should be called a risk). Interestingly enough, many Alephs and Bnai' Brith Girls manage to avoid sexual encounters because they are focused on other things, such as Judaism or leadership. BBYO is an amazing organization, although it does have its share of flaws. Teaching the art of getting ass, however, is not one of the five folds. Teens will be teens. Leave it at that. - Brett

Finally, someone telling the truth about Omaha's BBYO. Imagine my surprise to see the dirty, little secrets of Omaha's young Jewish community revealed for all to see. ;)

Ahh, conventions...they're the same no matter what region you're in :) NRE BBYO Chana Senisch, graduated '00

Never did BBYO per se - but I was involved with plenty of other Jewish youth groups - and that story was brilliant. You nailed it on the head!!! BRAVO!!!!

For the good and welfare of AZA #1 and Speaking as one of the faggots here mentioned in this article, i too have to credit BBYO for helping me make a well informated decision. Hope everyone is well. danny cohn [email protected]

Your story brought back fond memories. I was a BBG chapter president from the Pacific Northwest Region- 1990...I don't think we were the most sexually active, we did play around, but we were by far the most stoned! Lots of Deadheads in our group- imagine all of us upper middle class jews in our tiedyes smoking out at convention! LOL- all the goyim at my school were jealous of my BBYO excusions- those suckers...Long Live BBYO, I'm sending them a donation for helping me get through those teenage years!

I got so much ass back in BBYO, boy band ass, but who wouldn't if you were apart of Nordaunian #22.

Wow, I always wondered why all the Jewish kids in Akron, OH loved to go away on "Leadership" retreats. To me, a super solid goy, those things were always analagous to Lutheran Church retreats where you contemplated Jesus, sin, and smoking dope. The girls were so well chaperoned you were lucky to get a kiss - on the mouth - much less anything south of there. Boy was I wrong about all of that.. It's too bad I wasn't adopted by a Jewish family. All the girls I loved back then were Jews - I will always remember fondly my Greta, but understand better why she dumped me after returning from 'Convention'.

Great article Rachael...One thing I might add to all the naysayers is that (maybe I was just naive) but BBYO provided a relatively safe environment for all the sexual and substance experimentation that comes along with teenage life. With the "education" I got from my older cohorts, I was much more prepard for this sort of thing than my goyshe friends. You can always take the moral high ground that these "sinful" things should be discouraged or you can accept that they are a part of growing up and try to nurture them as best as possible. All I know is when I have kids, I would feel more comfortable if their first hand job and their first hit off a 3 foot bong were to happen in the basement of my Rabbi's house after a Beau dance...because, hey...I know their parents, so it's okay. Ben Ross AZA#2

This is disgusting. How dare you slander the Jewish faith with such an article. To people who dont understand Judaism and read this article, they now have the perception that this is what its about. How dare you even call this a jewish group.

I could not disagree with you more. I respect your values as a jewish teenager, however i dont like that you imply that jewish youth are all about sex. Maybe for you in BBYO sex is the only reason you go, if thats the case, you shouldnt go. I am an outgoing regional officer in NFTY, the North American Federation of Temple Youth. Our rules are created by youth, and enforced by youth as well. We take our rules very seriously. In fact, before each event, all participants agree to "refrain from any innapropriate sexual conduct". While i am sure that it is not absolute, i can assure you that most participants in NFTY come to events, not for drugs, sex, and illegal activity, but rather for jewish values like study, torah, social action, and community. If for you being jewish is not about a community, then why be a part of a jewish youth organization. I respect your free speech, however i encourage you to think of the consequences of your writing before you post it on the web. If you wish to discuss this further, my email is [email protected]

I'm deeply disturbed by your portrayal of Jewish youth grouping experiences. While clearly this was the experience you had in a youth group setting, for most others, sex is not what Jewish high school life is about. Indeed, I know of many for whom the sexuality in these environments is a turn-off. And for those who do enjoy careful experimentation, the vast majority find at least one educational or spiritual experience that is what truly keeps them coming back for more. What you describe is a microcosm of the Jewish youth grouping world, and one which reflects very poorly on the rest of us. As an outgoing regional officer in NFTY, I have striven throughout high school to improve the credibility of youth as leaders and to earn the respect of Jewish lay leaders and professionals. An article like this is so damaging to what the majority of NFTY, and I hope the other Jewish youth groups, is trying to accomplish.

Hey, this was an awesome article; brings back fun memories from RC, RLC, Kallah, CC... the list goes on. You describe our youth group with gorgeous accuracy, and, you know what, I think you're right. Our parents couldn't have cared less what we were doing as long as it was with Jews. Anyway, just wanted to complement you on your impressive analysis. I hope BBYO was as amazing an experience for you as it was for everyone I knew. Former NoVA Council Godol, Ben Peace, Love, and Frogs.

Hi, I graduated last year, and for about 4 years I was a proud BBG of NRE. For those who don't know, NRE is Northern Region East, which means Baltimore, DC, and Northern Virginia. You don't get an opportunity for a solid Jewish community in Virginia unless you join a youth group, and being raised as a reconstructionist Jew I was not about to join USY or NFTY. At first I wasn't sure I was going to join BBYO, but once I did: Wow. I loved BBYO. It is my best memory from high school. BBYO introduced me to new people, taught me how to be comfortable with myself, gave me wonderful leadership skills, and gave me a venue to learn about Judaism. We had awesome programs, including debates, fundraisers, dinners, and dances. We volunteered our time, and reached out to the community. And we hooked up. A lot. Take 200-300 confused Jewish kids who get told Jesus is the answer every day, put them into a hotel near the beach for a weekend, teach them that they are a community, and expect them not to get together? Please. Rachel, although my experiences weren't quite the same as yours, they were similar. After I got back from my first convention where I "hooked up" with not one, but two guys, we made a hook up tree to see who I was "connected" to (turns out I'm connected to Alicia Silverstone-but that's beside the point). At my first chapter convention ever, I heard stories from the seniors about horrible hookups and wonderful ones. Went to camp in Makwanago (sp?) one summer, and everyone immediately began pairing off. We even had a system with name tags which indicated your status (together, hooking up, single, etc.). The entire time I was in BBYO the prospect of hooking up in the stairwell, or in a bedroom, or in a bathroom (it happens), was part of the reason kids continued coming. Jewish kids together equals attraction. It's nice meeting someone who doesn't say your nose is too big, or your hair is too "Jewish", or you should love Jesus. That's Amazing. Here's a few more points I'd like to make: 1) USY and BBYO and NFTY are different groups, and have different rules. Everyone gives BBYO kids crap for not being "Jewish" enough, and it needs to stop. Some BBYO kids give USY crap for being more orthodox, and that should stop. We are the next generation of Jews. Don't be assholes just because one group is hornier and the other group is more religious. 2) Some of my best friends from BBYO are AZAers I spent time with in the dark. I love my AZA boys. They are good people. 3) I have friends in BBYO whose parents met in BBYO. They are some of the happiest couples I know. 4) I never heard anything about a girl getting hurt (physically or emotionally or sexually abused) in BBYO. That doesn't mean it never happened, but it was a SAFE HAVEN for lots of people. And if someone was hurt by family or friends, we provided a community to take care of them. 5) My Chrisitan friends just didn't get it when I talked about BBYO 24/7. They were jealous almost :)I was the only kid in my school in BBYO, and it was hard. I'm so lucky I had some place with good people to escape to. 6) Drugs are not that prevelant in BBYO. When they were for a short time in my council, we were looked down upon, and those of us who cared quickly changed that. As for after-parties it is stated that once an advisor leaves the event, the event is no longer a BBYO event. Ergo after-parties w/o advisors are NOT BBYO programs. 7) I said it before and I'll say it again: I needed to escape in high school. I needed a group of people that wouldn't look down on me if I kissed a boy or two. I needed a group who let me complain about my week during good n' welfares. I needed my two weeks away from home with a group of girls and boys who danced Israeli dances every night, and sat outside with juice boxes counting shooting stars. Our community is not weakened by Rachel's article. I think what she says is true. An exaggeration at some points perhaps (she is a comedy writer after all), but true. And she brings up some good points about life. Thank G-d for hooking up.Thank G-d for BBYO. Thank G-d for Jewish youth. With that, I am DAMN PROUD to be an alumni of Haganah BBG #5064, NoVa BBYO, and NRE BBYO. Undying love to you and yours, Sarah

I am an alumnus of AZA #2372 B'nai Ami and the last international Ogre of AZA. or at least that is what i am told because apparantly they banned that election after I won it with another young man. As open as I am now is all a tribute to BBYO. I became an independant, self-confident College student with more experience than any other member of my fraternity house. I am a Beta now and my leadership has transferred directly from AZA. I was a chapter president but my influence went further than that. many people will recognize my name or my situation from this response, but that doesnt bother me. I go to school in Colorado, where not many jews reside at my college. in fact, we have trouble finding a minion, but the point is get a good amount of shit for being a jew. however because of my trials and tribulations in AZA and BBYO i dont care. yes even my hook ups have made me a stronger person and better at doing the things girls like. Great article and may the tension and issues between the youth groups realize that we are different and this stuff does go on. with undying love for Bnai Ami AZA, my love SEK, israel trips, 26 bbyo hookups, NOVA Council, and damn proud to be a Beta, Zachary Colin Savit

As a 16 year old, Orlando bred Jewish male, I must compliment you on this amazing and accurate display of the Jewish truth. I have read and shown this article to many in the last couple days, and many were shocked, while that is the true reality of Jewish youth groups. [email protected]

wonderful! love, your cousin jenny

What scares me the most about this article is not one person's perspective of her own personal experience, but everyone's responses and that it is the only light shown of Jewish youth groups. It needs to be reiterated that this is one aspect of youth group for some people. It bothers me greatly that people who read this article leave with the idea that hooking up is what Jewish youth group is about. I am very active in NFTY, and strongly agree with the others who have stated that NFTY is about finding Jewish identity more than it is about finding Jewish ass. I wish that anyone posting, both posting articles or posting responses, would be more aware of the effects of their posts. Do you really want people saying 'I wish I were Jewish' only so that they could get ass like you presumably did? In my opinion, that's not what Judaism, or Jewish youth group, is really about.

Coming from the same organization, and spending 5 years with riotous parties, drunken indulgences, and of course the sex crazed conventions, I thoroughly enjoyed your article. It’s funny ‘cause it’s true.

After reading many of the other responses, I think mine was a bit off the mark. I was a Regional Godol of The Pacific Coast Region #43 and a proud member of Zion AZA #983. The truth is all Youth groups, no matter the lessons they are trying to teach to the active members have an appeal of meeting a Jewish teen of the opposite or in some cases the same sex. I spent five years devoting my time and energy to BBYO and never wanted to leave, and yes even in those five years as dedicated as I was, a huge priority especially during a convention was to try and find some random girl to hook up with... Until I fell into a relationship. With that aside, Five years, 4 Chapter board positions, 2 Regional Board positions, an attempt at an International Board position, and 5 International Programs has made me a stronger more admiral person then if I hadn't been in BBYO. It has given me the experiences I need to help flourish in college, and the knowledge to help my fraternity in ways others wouldn’t have been able to think of. I full hardily agree with the article as truth... Teenage boys and girls don't join any youth group for Fraternity or sisterhood, and in many cases the only reason people stay in the group is for social reason. If Hand Jobs and Hummers is what it takes to keep the organization strong while parents blindly turn their heads, (They know what's going on they were young once) then so be it. Proud past member of BBYO Doug Weissman. With that aside… Man I loved this article; I thought it was Hilarious.

You obviously have not the slightest idea bout what BBYO, AZA, and BBG is about. It is about fraternity, frienship, trust, and finding friend with a common bond. Just because you acted permiscuously doesnt mean that everyone does, and if you took the time to really look at this youth group you would understand what we are all about; fighting ignorant people like you.

Damn you were a slut in your days.

Let me say that my only argument with this article was the use of the lable BBYO. As the Godol of a Gottlieb AZA, a regional board member for CVR, and an international chairman, I can fairly say that I understand what goes on in MY chapter and in MY region. My problem with your using the label of BBYO is you are generalizing. While it was your experience, and while I have no idea if it is truthful or not, that is all it was, your experience. You are generalizing for over 15,000 teens worldwide. BBYO encompasses teens from America, Canada, Israel, Bulgaria, England, Ireland, Australia, and France. I know that the story that you wrote about is a very rare one in members of my region, and a unheard of one in my chapter. By using generalizing for the overall organization, your are giving it a label, that while in part might be true, is such a small part of what I and my chapter and region get out of BBYO. I would not mind if you had written, "In my chapter _________, or in my region __________, sex was everything, and drugs and alcohol were all the rage, and that was the only thing driving members to be members..." But that is not the way it is in my region, and not the way it is in my chapter. I have been to an unamable amount of parties, conventions, dances, and after parties. I have never gotten ass, only once been to an after party where drugs were available, and have only once been to an official BBYO event where members were caught using Illegal Substances. Only once, and they were expelled from the order. On every form, every paper from BBYO, are the words, "BBYO does not condone the use of drugs or alcohol." If you are getting everything out of BBYO, then drugs and alcohol should be the last thing you need to ruin a weekend. Fraternally Submitted with an undying love to Gottlieb AZA #2196, CVR BBYO #17, BBYO, and the International Order of the Aleph Zadik Aleph, I remain Shakespeare

I loved your article because it is so true no matter what all those nay-sayers say! They're just jealous they weren't in on the hooking up. My first hook up was in BBYO and everyone knows, the only good hook ups are the jewish hook ups! Keep writing, your stuff is so well written and so true!

Don't let's be silly! Everyone seems to under the impression that these things only happen in the Jewish congregations. On the contrary, being Jewish has NOTHING to do with it. It's the gathering of massive amounts of "hormones with feet" into an environment that affords certain people the opportunity to abandon moral fortitude (becasue mommy and daddy aren't around and the youth advisor to youth ratio is low enough for a few to drop off the radar for twenty minutes). Lusty people are lusty because they can be; because they either lack (or are tone deaf to) the little voice that says, "now is NOT the time OR the place to put THAT in your mouth!" This gal didn't take a shot in the mouth under a banquest table because she's Jewish, or because she belonged to the BBYO. She did it because she is a whore. No, I take that back- whores get paid. This slut did it for free, and she'd be a slut if it were a Christian youth group. (It happens there, too.) Keep in mind that, while this is cool and funny now, you're going to have to face the music later on. Eventually, your own conscience will catch up with you. Or you will meet someone that you will want to spend the rest of your life with. Go ahead and tell yourself that anyone who really loves you will love you no matter what, but the reality of that statement is- you weren't thinking of love when you did what you did, but you will have to live with the consequences.

:*( That article really made me wish I had been able to experience something like that... I went to a Christian Baptist youth group some times as a teenager, and I was totally ostrasized from the "group" after they found out that I smoked herb... They would have probably lynched me if I tried anything sexual there. Experiences like the article described are a normal and healthy part of growing up into a well rounded individual... Christianity is so much about self denial and unnatural oppressiveness. As for the people that are saying the article was an insult to Judiasm, its not at all. The situation could apply to any type of youth gathering.

hmm

reading this essay brought back a lot of memories about my own experiences in jewish youth groups, in the nj area. we were doing the same things!! and rest assured, the lesbians found each other. thanks for putting it all into succinct, hilarious writing.

Great, now Googling my name "Josh Nieman" brings me to 69'ing some chick I met at a buffet! Funny bit though.

As a former SJR sweetheart i died reading this piece. it brought back memories of things you never want to say out loud. Thank g-d for bbyo, thank g-d for cltc. i have made life long memories and friends.

If only I had been thirty years younger and Jewish . . . Ah, I need say no more.

Or could I fake the Jewish part?

And the age?

Okay, first of all...YOU ARE A BBYO JEW YOURSELF AND YOU ARE STEREOTYPING THE OTHER 15,000 OF US AND GIVING US A BAD NAME. I am Godol of Cotton States Region, and sure, yes, people do hook up. For most it is nothing more. Only a small handful go too far. I have heard some wild stories in my day, but never as outrageous as yours. Not because of what you've done, but of how much you make it sound that every single person has sex in bbyo. Many people actually do value the things we do at conventions other than hooking up. Ninety eight percent of these people will never hook up with you, but they still remain friends for life. Even further, I know countless amount of people who have met their husbands and wives through BBYO. I'm not gonna say I havent hooked up at BBYO events...truth is I have. It's cause I'm a teenager. But I am saying that BBYO is not just an excuse to have massive jew orgies for a three day period. I am appalled at your story because of how you stereotype your own people. YOU MAKE EVERY JEW LOOK LIKE SOME PERVERT! Don't you think our people have had enough persecution? Now you're giving another reason for people to think Jews are sinful, hell-raising people. I apologize you chose such a slutty life, but that doesnt mean every other bbyoer is a big whore as you are. If you were a true BBYOer, you would know that this is the exact opposite of what a BBYO Jew would do. That person would not send out negative propoganda against his own people. This article is reversing some of the progress we have made as Jewish people. You should be ashamed of yourself.

You are a terrific writer! Smart and funny! Love to read more of your work!

i'm mikecohn, from your graduating class (diff highschool) awesome essay. email me sometime if you have any other cool eassays to read. [email protected]

MikeCohn = Jake Plotkin

Excellent essay, babe!!!

Wow. Takes me back.... takes me back. Of course we called it a "Model UN Convention" and there were a ton more gay kids. The air back then wreaked more of desperation that it did BB&Beyond misting spray, but essentially you captured the moments of sexual escape that we were able to capture... thanks for a great laugh down memory lane. Of course, I'm left with the image of your dear mother innocently printing out the essay that her daughter wrote for Hooksexup and taking it to show off to her friends at the next bridge club meeting...

*Now you're giving another reason for people to think Jews are sinful, hell-raising people.* I *am* a sinful, hellraising person. At least I'm not a constipated harridan like so many other people here.

Geeesh, I thought Christians had a stick up their butt... Look at some of these sexually repressed responses in here! It never ceases to amaze me how threatened the true believers are by the sexuality of others.

i dated a jew for six years, and he told me lots of similar tales of debauchery. i was always incredibly jealous...my catholic upbringing was downright dull in comparison. yah jews!

I'm with hkc...Catholics don't have that much fun. I did all the CYO stuff and the craziest we got was overloading on Mountain Dew. Sigh. Jealous.

Those of you appalled....you know this is a website about sex, right? An article about leadership skills and core values and peers helping peers blah blah has no place here. This was exactly the right forum for her to discuss the sexual aspects of her experience.

I was a emeber of BBYO. Convention was exactly like this. But to all of you who are decrying the lack of Jewish connection in the organization, stop worrying! All of the regular activities we did did strengthen my Jewish identity. This is just one slice of the pie, a very funny slice, but just one. And why are you reading Hooksexup anyway if this stuff bothers you so much?

a recovering ohio northern region bbyo girl here who only partook in youth group for all the head it got me at conventions. i get this, i totally get this.

Reminds me a lot of my experiences at Jewish summer camps. Mid 80's, New York State. Good times.

Jeesh....there are some uptight people commenting here..this article rocks, and that's the truth! Shalom, ya'll!

Great article. Terrific writing.

good stuff

I'm an alumnus of New England Region AZA and made out once on BBYO time in all of four years. Of course this article doesn't represent everyone's experience, and it's a shame that it purports to. But a literate, intelligent reader will realize that this is just one person's reflection. So, who wants to hook up at Matzo Ball?

i wanna be a jewess!

This is such a good article. Well written, and hilarious, especially since I can relate. However, as a current and active member of Pacific Coast Region BBG, I feel as if this article gives BBG, BBYO, and Jews a bad reputation. Yes, we are teenagers, and yes, we are horny. But that is life. Kids are hooking up, drinking, and doing drugs everywhere. Being a Jew or being in BBYO does not provide anymore of an environment. It does bring teens from across the globe closer together in a way that no organization can. Hooking up is a plus, and may be the reason why we go to our first event, but it is not the reason we stay. We stay for the sisterhood and the true magic created by BBG and the feeling we have inside when being inducted or being surrounded by 400 other girls at International Convention chanting "Identity." For those of you reading this article, please do not be fooled by this. The B'nai B'rith Girls and Aleph Zadik Alephs are more than sluts. We are the future, and we are changing the world. Respectfully submitted with undying love for Pacific Coast Region #43, Lilith BBG #324, and living up to the "high ideals we in the B'nai B'rith Girls have set for ourselves," I remain a damn proud BBG, not a teenage whore.

This is by far one of the most comical things I have ever read. I'm 17 years old, currently sgan of my chapter. Its so good to know not much has changed in BBYO short of international hook-up and.........such

As someone once said to me: "Nothing like two Jews bumpin' uglies" Right on.

I was never in BBYO, but I was in NFTY through all my high school years (I'm a sophomore in college now.) Why is everyone being so defensive about this shit? The fact that everyone's so offended by this just proves that it's fairly grounded in fact. Adolescent Jews love doing a couple of things: smoking weed, feeling like they're making a difference in the world, and fucking. This is nothing to be ashamed about. Most of the ex-BBYO or ex-NFTY-ites are probably just defensive because they never got any back while they were active in the organizations ;)

People, this is a story. It is a blend of fiction and non-fiction. Many of these things may or may not have happened. Just take it as a story or an essay and let it be. It is gracefully written and while it may not be fact, it certainly conveys a truth. I loved it. I know many other people do, too. This makes me want to go buy her book. Hopefully its as good as this essay. Makes me smile.

What do you think?