Talking to Strangers

Hooksexup asks deeply personal questions to people we just met.

 

 

Thomas, 32

What do you do for a living?
Film director. 

A famous one?
Soon to be. 

Does this job get you laid?
Yes. It's amazing the power that the entertainment industry has. I'm a natural showman, so I know how to present myself. 

Do you have any sexual regrets?
I regret not having more confidence at a certain age when I could have had sex with a lot of beautiful women. That's really my only regret. 

Do you have confidence now?
Yea. And that's why I have a beautiful girlfriend whom I have sex with all the time.  

What's your deepest, darkest fantasy?
To have a place like The Story of O. Like a castle full of sexual slave girls who I can train to be submissive to me. That being said, I do consider myself a feminist.  

Do you have any dealbreakers?
I don't like dealbreakers, because it all depends on the individual. I guess if I had to choose one, it would be if a girl was very overweight. But honestly, my dealbreaker is someone who is always looking for dealbreakers. Show me the deal first and I'll let you know what's going to break it.  

Does money matter when it comes to love?
Unfortunately, yes. 

How so?
For me? No. It doesn't matter, but it can make things more complicated when people come from socioeconomical environments that are too different. Money is power and power is inevitably is a part of every relationship. Every relationship is a power balance. 

What's your favorite sexual memory?
My favorite memory is probably the first time that I had sex, because I felt like I was a normal human being for the first time after the buildup of adolescence.

 

 

Sarah, 25

What do you do for a living?
I'm a freelance writer and editor.

Does this job get you laid?
I haven't slept with anyone at my job. But I have slept with people whom I've interviewed in the past. So, yes.

What's your deepest, darkest fantasy?
I really like to take control in the bedroom — like boss a guy around. I think a lot of times girls have the opposite fantasy: they like to be thrown around and have rough, nasty sex with their hands held down and stuff. That's totally fun also. But if I were to choose my number-one fantasy, I would definitely be the one holding people down.

Do you have any sexual regrets?
I suppose I should. When I was eighteen I dated this thirty-year-old, affluent Canadian guy who really spoiled me with flowers and jewelry and expensive trips. He even bought me a purebred puppy.

Why is that a regret?
It turned into a very emotionally and mentally abusive relationship. I soon learned that all those nice things were just a way to trap me into thinking I couldn't be without him. I had stopped talking to most of my friends because he thought I was cheating on him. And I even cut my parents out of my life for a little while because he thought they were controlling. Also, he pressured me to lose almost thirty pounds when I was with him. He wanted a trophy girlfriend. But I don't regret any of this.

Why not? It seems pretty crappy.
I don't regret it because it made me learn not to depend on anyone but myself. It also made me aware of abusive signs in a relationship. Not just for myself, but for my girlfriends also.

Do you have any dating dealbreakers?
Smoking is first and foremost. Bad teeth are second. Poor hygiene in general is disgusting. I should probably just list them all: ignorance, bad manners, perpetual tardiness, being over the age of forty, close-mindedness, sexual stuntedness, self-consciousness, conceitedness... there's probably more. But those are the biggies.

You're very particular.
I know. I'm a really hard woman to please. But I'm okay with that. If the guy is worth it, then it makes him try harder to be a better man.

Does money matter when it comes to love?
This is such a loaded question because people are automatically going to judge you if you say "yes." And yet it's really naive to say "no." I don't think tons of money matters, at least for me. From what I hear, love and mega-money don't mix well at all. But even listening to my parents' stories, their love life was fine when they were financially stable. They tended to fight more when times were hard. That's why divorce skyrocketed once the economy crashed.

If you could reenact any movie sex scene, which would it be?
Basic Instinct was hot, when Sharon Stone ties that guy's hands to the bed.

Hopefully you wouldn't want to reenact everything in that scene.
I'm not about to stab anyone to death. But I do like the power exchange.

 

 

Adam, 29
 

What do you do for a living?
I'm a pop-rock singer-songwriter. I also bartend on the weekends.
 
Do these jobs get you laid?
Yeah. It's such a cliché thing, people look at you and are wowed that you play the guitar and you're a rock star. It's the same with being a bartender. Besides, people get hornier when they drink. They also get more confidence. Learning how to bartend in the past five years, I chat with people more and say things I normally wouldn't say, because they're drunk or I feel more confident. It gives you that extra edge.
 
Do you have any sexual regrets?
No. I'm respectful and really down to earth. I don't do things I don't want to do, and don't pressure women to do anything either.
 
Do you have any dating dealbreakers?
Smoking is definitely one of them. I like dirty talk. But when girls go overboard, I tend to think, "Oh shit, where did you pick that up from?" Don't get me wrong, I think it's hot and cool or whatever. But just don't say the wrong thing.
 
Can you give me an example of what the "right" and "wrong" thing to say would be?
Something like, "You make me so wet," is a great one. But I had this one girl tell me a long time ago, "Man, you were pounding me so hard last night." And I never had sex with her again.
 
Really?
Don't get me wrong, I like that. But the timing was just wrong. It was morning and we'd just woken up. She was getting dressed for work and we were just chatting casually or whatever. And then out of nowhere she says, "Man, you were pounding me so hard last night." And I was just really weirded out. Maybe if she said it right after we'd had sex it would have been okay. But I wasn't even in that mindset.

If you could relive a movie sex scene, which one would it be?
The movie Unfaithful with Diane Lane. Lets take the plot out of the equation, I don't like that. But there's this scene when she first has an affair with the guy. She starts quivering when he starts working his way down her stomach, and she can't even control herself. That is so hot to see.
 
Does money matter when it comes to love?
Definitely not. I think as long as you're passionate about somebody then money shouldn't matter. I think money can make life easier sometimes. You don't have to worry about paying bills. And that's cool in a real sense. But I think one of the most important things about love is that each person has to have something for themselves; they need to have their own passions besides the other person. You need to be your own person in order to be in love with someone. Like, I love writing music, it's my passion in life. And as long as whoever I'm dating has something like that — some passion they can resort back to — then I think that's what really matters when it comes to love. And that has nothing to do with money.
 
Do you have a favorite sexual memory?
The first time I had sex with my current girlfriend. I love her and the actual act was really, really hot.
 
What happened?
[long pause]
 
Just pretend the recorder isn't there.
Let's just keep it at "It was really, really hot."