July 3, 2008
James, 22
When having sex with someone for the first time, what's proper ejaculation etiquette?
You have to bring it up beforehand, because that's serious territory. Can you imagine if you just came inside someone and they were like, "Um, you weren't supposed to do that."
Occasionally, my boyfriend finds it hard to get it up. What can I do to help him?
Add spontaneity. Lick his balls randomly. The guy's probably just psyching himself out, so you have to not hold it against him. Be patient and understanding.
My boyfriend told me he's a virgin and he wants me to be his first. How should I approach the deflowering experience?
Well, it's going to have to happen sooner or later, so if the time is right, might as well be with you. You really have to pay attention to the other person's pleasure — don't be selfish if it's his first time. Take your time, really make sure he feels comfortable.
My girlfriend told me she likes dirty talk, but I can never think of what to say. How can I avoid awkward pauses?
Whenever you get turned on when you're not with the person, make a note of what's turning you on. When you're masturbating, what are you thinking about? Write it down, then tell them what it was during sex. Because you want to be natural, you don't want to just make stuff up. That's awkward, and you won't remember it, and there will be pauses.
Can you ever put a finger up someone's ass without warning, or should you always ask first?
You don't have to ask, but you should make it really clear that's what you're about to do. Like, play around with it or just move it in slowly. But don't just shove it in there — oh my God, that hurts.
Christina, 22
How can I incorporate scuba gear into sex?
Wear your mask and snorkel to bed.
What has scuba diving taught you about dating?
That sometimes things will happen unexpectedly, and you have to be able to react, and sometimes just throw off your tank and bolt for the surface.
Is a certain amount of bush grooming essential for women, or is letting it grow wild okay?
Definitely trim. I personally prefer to get a Brazilian because it promotes oral sex. And I don't like shaving because you get ingrown hairs — it's kind of all or nothing.
When having sex with someone for the first time, what's proper orgasm etiquette?
A medium amount of commotion. You don't want them to think you're not into it, but you don't want to scare them either. If you start screaming, they might think, This person's really weird when they get off, and it makes me uncomfortable.
I've always wanted to have sex in public. Where should I do it?
I've had very enjoyable golf-course experiences.
Alice, 23
My boyfriend told me he's a virgin and he wants me to be his first. How should I approach the deflowering experience?
Guide his hands to the places you want him to be. Then just show him how awesome sex is.
What has scuba diving taught you about dating?
You deal with a lot of egos in scuba diving. And being a girl diver, I have to be more badass than the guys I'm with.
Occasionally, my boyfriend finds it hard to get it up. What can I do to help him?
Find his little quirks. Everyone has little spots that turn them on. They can be on the neck or the palm of the hand or the foot — stuff that's not necessarily overtly sexual.
I finally scored a date with a long-time crush, but then I got nervous, drank too much and made an ass of myself. How do I salvage it?
Apologize if you need to apologize, then invite him out for something chill so he can see the non-drunkass side of you.
What's the best way to seduce a scuba diver?
Make a lot of raunchy jokes about going deep.
Darren, 22
What has scuba diving taught you about dating?
That people either are or are not interested in the same things you are. So if you meet someone who doesn't want to look at cool shit in the ocean, they may not be the one who you should hang out with.
Is a certain amount of bush grooming essential for women, or is letting it grow wild okay?
At least something is always appreciated. Close resemblance to an aquatic creature is not recommended.
I finally scored a date with a long-time crush, but then I got nervous, drank too much and made an ass of myself. How do I salvage it?
There are two ways. One: sleep with him while you're drunk and see if he calls back. Two: just wait a little while. He'll forget about it. Men are stupid like that.
I've always wanted to have sex in public. Where should I do it?
Balconies are a good start because you can see the whole city, and theoretically the whole city can see you. You also have the convenience of being near your apartment.
My boyfriend told me he's a virgin and he wants me to be his first. How should I approach the deflowering experience?
Be patient, be nice and don't expect too much. Realize he's probably going to suck at it.
My girlfriend wants me to talk dirty to her, but I haven't had much practice. Advice?
Pick a couple key phrases and say them over and over again. I don't think she'll hold it against you if your lines are canned. n°
Interviews by Meghan Pleticha. Dating Advice From... appears on Thursdays. Have questions for the general public? Send them to .