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Mitchell: Do you want a drink? That’s how people talk in The Little Dog Laughed, the brilliantly funny play about a ruthless agent trying to keep her gay client in the closet. Written by Douglas Carter Beane, the show is playing now at the Cort Theater on Broadway in an open run. It’s a must-see. I like to think Hollywood is more accepting than it was in the ’50s, but watching The Little Dog Laughed, I realized that even today, an A-lister can’t be gay.
It’s still a factory town! I think it’s a business decision on the part of the studios. They’re terrified of people having any reason not to go to a film. I think it’s also about the desire people have to see their movie stars mated in ways they could imagine. For Xanadu, I’ve been reading a lot of Greek mythology. It’s like we’ve created Hollywood so we can mix-and-match our gods the way they did. When Hooksexup interviewed Don Roos a while back, he said he didn’t want his actors to come out, even though he’s gay himself. He said he wanted actors whose personal lives were secret so they could be blank slates. I think that was his logic, more or less. He said anyone whose personal life was all over the tabloids — Brad Pitt in the thick of the Jennifer Aniston break-up, say — would be too tainted for him to use. Are there exceptions to the stars-can’t-come-out rule? I loved the line in the show where Mitchell says he thinks he can come out and still be a star and Diane says, "Are you British? Have you been knighted?" People are so afraid of male sexuality. That’s what makes Mitchell so thrilling a character. He dates girls but only has sex when drunk and with male prostitutes. It’s refreshingly complicated. Ooh, where’s that? People who know about the rather tortured path your play As Bees in Honey Drown has taken since being optioned might think you were the gay playwright referred to in Little Dog Laughed. He’s seduced by Diane and Mitchell in a breathtakingly manipulative lunch meeting. The scene where the playwright is flattered and reassured and ultimately taken is so brutal. Diane (played brilliantly by Julie White) is one of the best roles for a woman I’ve seen in a long time. Even though she’s evil, I found myself admiring her. She’s really good at her job. Not unlike how many of us would rather read tabloids than watch the news. In meetings, Diane asks everyone, "Is everybody happy?" By the end of the play, the word had a really creepy connotation. [Laughs] I feel like Buddha with a cellphone here. Now I’m going to go listen to Charlene sing "I’ve Never Been to Me" and laugh. Do you know that song? It’s about a woman who’s got it all. [Sings] "I’ve been to paradise, but I’ve never been to me." There’s a very sophisticated line in the version on the album: "But you know what truth is? / It’s that little baby you’re holding / It’s that man you fought with this morning / The same one you’re going to make love with tonight." Abusive husbands: that’s what’s real! It’s so bad. It’s so good. n° To buy tickets for "The Little Dog Laughed," visit www.thelittledoglaughedonbroadway.com/.
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