61 Frames Per Second by John Constantine Today in Hooksexup's videogame blog: Friedrich Nietzsche, River City Ransom, angry nerds, and the horrors of time. So, you know, business as usual.
The Remote Island by Bryan Christian Veronica Mars returns (maybe), RuPaul is haunting us (definitely), and the Dexter "Pscyho Therapy" quiz (creepy.)
I told a friend that my one disappointment in life is that I'll never meet myself at a party and get taken home by me; she said she felt the same way about her doppelganger. Actually, I might not choose myself if I met me, because I'd probably think other-I was hogging the attention I'd try to find
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some corner-lurker instead, someone not satisfied with a little gaze from everyone, someone who needed all of mine instead.
In my experience, the cliché that young, attractive, un-crazy girls consider their very presence in someone's bedchambers prize enough (and thus just lie there), is a true one. Then again, the truly ugly can be self-conscious and even ashamed of their naked selves and make you keep the lights off, which always makes me really sad, and sadness is not an aphrodisiac. What you really want, I think, are the ones who aren't ugly but think they are. To distract you from their imagined, magnified secret fault, they will explode like a kamikaze; they will try to make you fall in love with them to blind you.
This poll question "What are you like in bed?" was fun to ask, especially of complete strangers. The only frustrating part was that no one would admit they're bad in bed, and I know some people are. So I'll be the one to come clean: I'm lousy. Oh, not at first. In the beginning, I fall into that magic third category, the kamikaze group not that I think there's something wrong with my body, but I suspect there might be something unsavory inside my brain, and I don't want anyone in an intimate setting peeking in there (thus the bedtime gymnastics to keep them off-kilter). Eventually, though, they do stumble upon the real me, and if they haven't run away, then I let my real sex self come out too. And she is a lazy, lazy queen. I expect my grapes peeled and roasted. How about you are you a peeler, a swallower or do you stomp 'em to wine?
Ari Newbauer
I like sex acts standing up. I like tension in the back. I don't like hiding or being in sleepy positions. Contact shouldn't crawl over you. It should push and clash against you. I like collision. Kindness is for strangers.
Kristin Young
I can be pretty tasty in bed: luxurious and insatiable simultaneously. Fucking me is great because it shuts up my nervous chatter.
Angie Faro
Simply put, I am one of the best. About other things I'm modest and self-deprecating, but I'd have to say that I might even be faultless in the sack. I am unafraid, voracious, giving, learned, gifted, intuitive, uninhibited, dirty-talking and well-maintained. My husband of three years can't keep his hands off of me and I believe him when he says that I have him wrapped around my sexual little finger. Ask him. Lisa: Well, hold on, I will. What's his work number? [Calls.] Hello, Nathan? My name is Lisa, and I am sort of a pollster, and I know this is a peculiar way to meet, but your wife answered my question about how she is in bed with "Magnificent! Just ask my husband." So I'm asking you. Nathan: Oh, okay. Should I just confirm or deny? Lisa: Sure. Nathan: Angie is amazing. She's incomparable. She's full of lust and adventure. Do you need a numeric rating for the sake of scientific accuracy? Lisa: No! I'm starting to feel jealous and angry right now, and I want you to tell me something bad about your wife. Nathan: She has some "body image issues." There's some magical weight I don't know what the number is but I know when she's under the influence of it, all that lustful enthusiasm is dampened.
Laura Lee
I have this loft bed and I tend to fall out of it. I guess I'm decadent. I really enjoy eating in bed I like to surround myself with food take bites out of apples during sex. You're satisfying both your taste buds and your, um, loins? Erotic area? I also like to do it in extremely small showers, libraries and forests.
Catherine Phillips
I will take on my partners' dysfunctions and then wonder how we ended up in such a mess. I also take on their higher qualities. Rather than complement, I mimic. I go subby with subs and dommy with doms.
Tony Boies
On occasion I refer to myself as "Atthrilla the Hung." Does that answer your question?
Erin Hoosier
If I am having lousy sex, for reasons usually related to alcohol or cocaine, I'll imagine that I'm being filmed and that I must emote. The crew is tired and wants to go home. Livelihoods depend on this being hot sex. Hot sex. Hot sex.
Mark Devendorf
I get depressed after I come, so I try to avoid orgasms for as long as possible. But I get bored with just sex, so I always introduce new distractions. People say I'm fun and energetic in bed. I enjoy watching them and seeing sex from their perspective. Lisa: And not your own? You get all your pleasure sucked through the girl's face rather than organically from . . . being in the state of fucking? Mark: Yes. Lisa: So you're a gentleman. Mark: That's a nice way to put it. Lisa: Are you always the host? Do you ever go a-calling? Mark: It's always at my house, actually. Lisa: Why? Mark: Because that's where all my stuff is: masks, dresses . . . I like to give the girl a dress to wear and then cut it off her. Lisa: That's decadent. What are you like out of bed? Mark: Lately I have this thing of holding girls' arms when crossing the street and bringing fresh-baked pies over to neighbors. Wearing scarves whenever possible.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Lisa Carver is the author of the books Dancing Queen, Rollerderby, The Lisa Diaries and Drugs Are Nice. She's written for Hustler,Index, Icon, Feed,Newsday and Playboy, among others. She lives in New Hampshire.
Ari Newbauer
Kristin Young
Angie Faro
Laura Lee
Catherine Phillips
Tony Boies
Erin Hoosier
Mark Devendorf
