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March 2009 - Posts

  • Sheng Long and The Ghost of April Fools' Past

    Posted by Nadia Oxford

    Guard your funnybone: tomorrow is April Fool's Day. It's the most wonderful time of the year to be a games writer, and the most aggravating time of the year to be a gamer.

    I've never actually participated in any kind of April Fool's joke. Despite my twisted, pulsating sense of humour, I've never been a fan of practical jokes. I can't stand crank calls, Punk'd, anything that derives a laugh from someone else's gobsmacked expression and/or explosive anger. Though, I have been the victim of crank calls that I felt stupidly honoured to be a part of (I worked in the grooming salon of a PetSmart a few years back and was asked if we sell unicorns. I told the caller to try Narnia).

    It's still a lot of fun to lean back and watch the gaming community try to out-ridiculous each other every April 1st. Even better, the tradition pre-dates the Internet-based fandom considerably: the infamous “Sheng Long” edition of EGM (published April 1992) probably wasn't the first instance of games writers indulging in spring jack-assery, but it was definitely the prank that launched a thousand imitators.

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  • The All New Retro: Bust-a-Groove and Low-Poly Love

    Posted by John Constantine



    I won’t deny it. My gaming tastes are a little unusual. Take my emulation aversion. Does a normal person spend months and months tracking down a rare and expensive cheat device so they can play an imported SNES game when they could download a ROM and SNES emulator in about ten seconds? No. This is not how a normal person behaves. As I slowly morph into something approximating an adult, I’ve been noticing another strange predilection in my gaming brain: a love of low-polygon graphics.

    Some games do not age with grace. Their mechanics, and especially their graphics, develop the distinct taste of vinegar when they used to be wine just five years before. Yet the games of the 32- and 64-bit era, games that I thought were repulsive even at the time, are starting to take on a strange allure.

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  • Getting Medieval (and Evil) on PSP: Holy Invasion of Privacy, Badman!

    Posted by John Constantine

    Well, Sony, it’s about time. You publish two versions of Yuusha no Kuse Ni Namaikida for PSP in as many years and you don’t release either outside Japan? Come on, man! What could it hurt? Patapon and LocoRoco are weird, original PSP games and they’ve done okay. American nerds love RPGs and retro style. Where’s the love? WHERE IS IT?!

    Ah, there it is.

    It’s understandable if you missed Yuusha no Kuse Ni Namaikida (You’re Pretty Cheeky For a Hero, if you prefer) when it came out back in 2007. Even amongst import gamers, it was still pretty obscure. Here’s the score: you play as the evil, world-menacing bad-guy-demon-lord from Ye Olde JRPG. You build a large maze-dungeon on a 2D plain, fill it with monsters, and then hide in it. Eventually a hero will show up to try and kill you. You, naturally, aim to avoid him. Think Tecmo’s Deception meets Dragon Quest. Here’s a trailer to get your mind rolling.

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  • Trailer Review: Katamari Damacy Tribute

    Posted by John Constantine



    Keita Takahashi made the right move in separating himself from Katamari Damacy. More of a good thing isn’t always what the world needs. Game sequels are, in principle, about improving on a solid foundation, molding an imperfect idea into something that is greater than its predecessor. Katamari Damacy was pretty much perfect on the first try and Takahashi knew that trying to bottle that lightning in a follow-up would end in failure. He did end up working on the first sequel, We Love Katamari, but he did it for the fans, not because he thought he could make a better game. Namco went ahead and made two more Takahashi-less Katamari games. They were not what you’d call great. Katamari Damacy Tribute, however, looks very promising.

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  • BREAKING NEWS: Sony Announces Potential Price Drop for the PLAYSTATION............2. oh.

    Posted by Amber Ahlborn



    I have been waiting for a PS3 price drop, nay, expecting one for a few months now. I just want to see a show of hands here. Who out there, like me, is all ready to pick up a PS3 but only if it is priced within the range of sanity? The PS3 wasn't exactly setting the world aflame in sales prior to the global recession and so one wonders at Sony's stubborn refusal to accept that people, especially in this economy, are not willing to work extra hours just to afford their machine.

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  • Not All Games Age Well

    Posted by Amber Ahlborn



    I've written this as a companion piece to my earlier post on keeping the games you buy. As I said earlier, If I enjoyed playing a game the first time, then chances are it'll have a permanent place in my game library. Some games, however, lose their appeal as they age, or as I age. One or the other.

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  • Literature Can Be Games

    Posted by Bob Mackey

    For someone about to get his Master's Degree in Literature, I was relatively unfazed by the somewhat-recent announcement of EA's upcoming Dante's Inferno. The iconic imagery of Dante Alighieri's epic poem has been exploited by so many people for so many years, it was a given that some developer would eventually adapt this Lit class favorite for the world of electronic entertainment. And for some reason, I don't feel insulted by EA taking a few liberties with the content; after all, I doubt many mainstream gamers are interested in playing Bible fan-fiction starring Italy's most famous Mary Sue--though I imagine that's a whole new market waiting to be tapped into.

    Since I perpetually have games on the brain, I can't help but think of how whatever I'm currently reading could be adapted for my beloved pastime.  For the most part, this usually doesn't work out very well; I'm currently trapped in a 19th Century women writers class, and my brainstorms usually result in high-society simulators where you avoid social faux pas and marry the guy (or gal) from the richest and/or most inbred family. But there is a certain style of Lit out there that's almost perfect for video games, though so far we've only seen homages, parody and straight-up thievery: hard-boiled fiction.

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  • Breaking Out of Your Gaming Comfort Zone

    Posted by Bob Mackey



    Longtime readers of 61FPS should be aware of my love-hate relationship with Japanese RPGs; for as much as I hate the genre's crippling flaws, I find myself crawling back to them time and time again, because they've sort of become a "comfort food" for me. As much as I hate being strangled by the slimy tentacles of nostalgia, I have to admit that my continuing fascination with all things JRPG has to do with the fact that I was practically raised on the things--though, to give myself some credit, I can at least say that I've managed to avoid quite a few of this generations biggest disappointments, like Star Ocean: The Last Hope. This does not explain why I played through all of Blue Dragon, though.

    Since becoming a member of the enthusiast press, I've been trying to break away from my old tendencies to try new and otherwise scary experiences. It's safe to say that I'm most comfortable with organized, linear, Japanese game design; as a former Nintendo and Playstation (once the JRPG Mecca) fanboy, this was once the only world I ever knew. And to this day, the non-linearity of open-world games is still a bit anxiety-inducing to me. So I thought, "What better way to break me out of this rut than by playing a free-roaming game where just about everything wants to murder you?"

    And this is where Fallout 3 came in.

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  • Super Mario's Warp Whistle Mishap

    Posted by Nadia Oxford

    Observant players of Super Mario 3 (in other words, my brothers, not me) noticed that when Mario tooted on the Warp Whistle, he was whisked to “World 9.” World 9 is simply a portal to the eight worlds below it, sort of a Mario-style Wood Between the Worlds.

    But the universe is held together by more than a mere nine worlds. What would happen if Mario's attempt to warp went awry, and he ended up in a place that Homer Simpson once described as “the worst place of all?”

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  • Mega64 versus Metal Gear Solid 4's Dad

    Posted by Nadia Oxford

    Despite these tough times, the sun still rises, and those lovable scamps over at Mega64 are up to their old tricks. I think we'll all be okay.

    Mega64 was at GDC this year, because it's important for someone to get all up in the face of video games when they become Serious Business. Sometimes, though, Serious Business bites back. At 2007's GDC, the boys of Mega64 dressed as Mario and Luigi and frolicked through the city streets, harassing attendees and women on cellphones. Everything was fun and games until some guy named “Shee-guyo Me-a-photo” put his hands on his hips and beat down the party with a look that said, “Come on guys, plumbers and mustaches are not joke material.”

    Mega64 took the lesson to heart, but got a bit naughty again at 2009's GDC with a parody of Metal Gear Solid 4. Serious Business raised its solemn head once again, but this time the boys were running for their lives.

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  • The Mother 3 Handbook: Better than Advertised

    Posted by Bob Mackey



    Ever since I found the Starmen.net community (then Earthbound.net) a decade ago, I've been amazed by both the devotion and productivity of the insane (in a good, fun way) Mother/Earthbound fans who call the site home. Since the beginning of Starmen.net, the community has certainly been through its ups and downs, from the disappointment of Mother 3's original cancellation to the elation caused by the announcement that the game was in the works for the Game Boy Advance--then, back to disappointment again when we found out Nintendo had no intention of publishing it here. The Mother 3 translation released last October was unquestionably the group's biggest labor of love; thanks to talented superhumans like Tomato, we Earthbound fans were given a complete localization of a fantastic game far more polished than the work produced by so-called professionals.

    Unfortunately, it looks like the Mother 3 translation now has a bit of competition in the category of "most ambitious, insane, and amazing Earthbound projects to reach completion:" now that I finally have the Mother 3 Handbook in my hands, it's impossible to decide what work is more mind-blowing.

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  • Do You Keep What You Buy?

    Posted by Amber Ahlborn



    I have over one hundred games in my library that span 4 console generations and 3 hand held generations. My collection is certainly not as impressive as some, but the point is I have a lot of older games. I also still play every last one of them. The idea of selling a game simply because I've played all the way through it is utterly foreign to my gamer psyche, yet, it seems many if not most gamers trade or sell games as soon as they're finished with them.

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  • Things You Should Watch: Gaming Guyz

    Posted by Bob Mackey

    Nadia's Friday post about Shmorky's (of Something Awful fame) Punch-Out comic made me think of something that's also a Shmorky/video game crossover of epic proportions: Gaming Guyz. Just as his Furious Famicom Faggot series skewered the Angry Nintendo Nerd and the millions of ripoffs who think that lousy games and profanity-based analogies are the peanut butter and chocolate of YouTube, Gaming Guyz has a satirical target that's gaming related, but a bit broader: you. Well, not you, per se; the fact that the comments sections of most 61FPS posts don't make me want to end my life says a lot about the intelligence of our audience. But even though this blog is refreshingly troll-free, Gaming Guyz hosts Andy and Paulo are a chilling reminder of how gaming culture can transform us into emotionally unstable idiots with a strange attachment to Sonic the Hedgehog.

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  • 10 Years Ago This Week: Requiem: Avenging Angel

    Posted by Joe Keiser

     

    A rare effort from 3DO to create a first-person shooter franchise, Requiem: Avenging Angel (released April 4, 1999) had a fascinating premise but nevertheless was a critical and commercial dud. It was also the last game to come out of Cyclone Studios, a short-lived development house that never managed to find its footing despite having a string of interesting game concepts. So it's an interesting footnote in the history of the genre, with interesting lessons to be learned from some of its specific shortcomings.

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  • Game Endings Out of Left Field: Chrono Trigger and the Dream Project

    Posted by Nadia Oxford

     

    I bought Chrono Trigger for the SNES from a game store merchant who called it “The game that never ends.” If only. There eventually came a time when I had in fact seen everything the game had to offer, and all that was left was to gnaw on its bones in a future search for Schala.

    Still, the beauty thing about Chrono Trigger is its lack of a cemented beginning, middle and end. Sure, it's a fairly linear adventure the first time you play through...but after you've taken in your fill of the Moonlight Parade, you're encouraged to slip away and explore Crono's world from as many angles as possible. Even making the tiniest changes in the time stream before taking down Lavos could result in a whole new game ending. Go up against Lavos before you're scheduled to fight Magus, and Frog will fight him one-on-one. Visit the spiky bastard after unlocking the door to the Mammon Machine, and listen to Marle and Lucca make lewd comments about Men Through The Ages.

    Then there's my personal favourite: finish the game before it even starts, and visit the development staff.

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  • Freaktastic Fanart: Join the Nintendo Fun Club, Little Mac!

    Posted by Nadia Oxford

    I've been able to count on Shmorky for violent and filthy comics for many fulfilling Internet years (1 Internet year = 0.965 human years). He's turned kittens into crack addicts and squirrels into chain-smoking maniacs, but my favourite thing in the world is when he makes video game characters say and do things they never would.

    Unless Yoshi really does have sex with his sister. He's not a talkative mount, and I think that's grounds for suspicion.

    The one problem with Shmorky's work (that's right, there is only one problem) is that he fails to archive it with any kind of consistency. He just draws and leaves, like a mama sea turtle shuffling away from her eggs, or a tomcat spraying a filthy alley wall before slinking after a female. So I have no idea how old this Punch-Out!! comic is, but Doc's dead stare probably gets funnier with age, anyway.

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  • The 61FPS Review - Dead Rising: Chop Till You Drop (Wii)

    Posted by Amber Ahlborn



    This week I played my very first zombie game and even though this is not really my genre of choice, I did not hate it. Dare I say I even had some fun? I may have grinned a little at beating up the undead with a mannequin but I deny all accusations of laughing maniacally while running over zombie poodles with a lawnmower.

    I really am not into horror. I'd rather read the Wikipedia article for a synopsis than watch a horror movie, and so it was with a bit of trepidation that I began Dead Rising: CTYD. Soon my fears were allayed when I discovered this was more like a brawler than a survival horror game. Thusly relieved, I snagged a shopping cart and proceeded to run down the undead like a possessed bargain hunter on 50% off sales day.

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  • Henry Hatsworth Prototype Not as Awesome as Final Game, Still Awesome

    Posted by John Constantine

    A few weeks ago, I saw a trailer for Henry Hatsworth in the Puzzling Adventure. Then I freaked out. Because it looked fantastic. Last week, Henry Hatsworth in the Puzzling Adventure came out. Turns out it isn’t fantastic. It is totally fantastic in every possible way there is to be fantastic and sweet.

    Okay, in fairness, I’ve only played the first few levels, so I’m not sure how deep it is or how good it is overall. (Derrick tells me it gets hard near the middle. We’ll see.) From the start, though, the platforming’s methodical and silky smooth, the puzzling simple but oh so satisfying. You already know the music’s great. Its sense of humor is everything the trailer promised as well. Hatsworth is a funny, funny game. I want to tell you about Tea Time in the game, but I also don’t want to ruin it for you. Tea Time made me laugh out loud on a crowded subway. I can, however, show you what the prototype of Tea Time looks like without ruining anything!

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  • The New Graphics Whores: Bit.Trip Beat is Gorgeous, But Retro Style Does Not Equate Quality

    Posted by John Constantine



    A strange thing happened to me between downloading Bit.Trip Beat and beating its first boss. While delighting in its vivid color, laughing at its signature character leaving rainbows in his wake across digital space, and letting its infectious chiptune beats colonize my brain, I realized that I wasn’t having any fun. That’s fine — I’m a firm believer in the fact that a game doesn’t need to be fun to be good — but I was expecting to have fun. I wanted to have fun. I was engaged by it, but not in a good way. I found the game to be overbearing and stressful. Then it hit me: Bit.Trip Beat is a bad game.

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  • WTFriday: Silent Hill. Star Wars. No. Words.

    Posted by John Constantine

    Note to readers: WTFriday is a weekly feature where we find something stupid about video games and get you to laugh until it goes away. Please try to forget this is what we normally do every day of the week.

    So. Fanart. Like cosplay, fan fiction, and an unwholesome love of tie-in knick knacks, fanart is a common pastime for media fanatics. Often times, as our own Nadia Oxford has noted recently, videogame fanart can be quite good. Talented artists love games too, dontcha know.

    Like koala bears, who appear to be adorable little ragamuffins until they reveal themselves to be heartless, savage killers of the most deranged kind, fanart has a hidden and terrible dark side. One most only type a scant few words into Google’s image search to discover it.

    This, though. This goes beyond anything else I’ve seen.

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  • Broken Picture Telephone is Purple Monkey Dishwasher

    Posted by Bob Mackey



    Remember the old schoolyard game, "telephone?" It was (and still is, I imagine) a charming little-time waster--from a time before portable gaming devices--where a whispered message is passed down a line of people until it comes out ass-backwards and possibly profane by the time it reaches the last person. This game isn't just good for laughs; it's also a perfect statement about the human condition--no matter what we say, we will always be misunderstood. And now, this fun and possibly existential-crisis causing diversion has jumped into the digital age with the new game-based website, Broken Picture Telephone.

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  • Watcha Listening To: Rebel FM's Bully Game Club

    Posted by Bob Mackey

    One of the best parts of the short-lived 1UPFM was the Backlog segment, where the crew played through and talked about games from the not-too-distant past over multiple episodes. For a press that normally centers so much on the here-and-now, it was refreshing to hear discussions of fantastic games that were only a few years old, like Shadow of the Colossus and Psychonauts--titles like these may have dropped off of our gaming radars, but that doesn't mean they still weren't worth talking about. Thankfully, this favorite segment of mine has been reborn with RebelFM's (essentially, the non-1UP affiliated sequel to 1UPFM) Game Club; and while the last featured game, the 2005 Xbox Call of Cthulhu, wasn't really up my alley, their current Game Club game certainly is.

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  • Chiptune Friday: 8-Bit Daft Punk

    Posted by Derrick Sanskrit

    Third Daft Punk post this month? Clearly March is all about robots dancing as far as I'm concerned.

    You may have seen around the 'net that a new bit of NES homebrew was released last month in D-Pad Hero, a game that mimicked the now all-too-familiar Guitar Hero/Dance Dance Revolution style of tapping buttons in rhythm to a scrolling bar of icons, only it replaces the guitar controller/dance pad with a traditional NES game pad and high quality song recordings with size and medium appropriate chiptune. Gameplay is expectedly challenging, but the songs are divine, especially the chiptune version of Daft Punk's "Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger".

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  • Daily DS Sutra - Position of the Nail

    Posted by Derrick Sanskrit

    Today, we close our series of looks at the more interesting poses in amateur French developer Cid2Mizard's SutraDS, a homebrew Kama Sutra application for the Nintendo DS. Have we saved the best for last? Well, that really depends on what you consider "best."

    One more time, if you are offended by imagery or discussion of a sexual nature, please do not continue reading this post and generally avoid the rest of hooksexup.com

    Just to be clear, even though we do not see this content as pornographic, it is most likely NSFW.

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  • Whatcha Playing: Dead or Alive Xtreme 2

    Posted by Joe Keiser

    When I tell you that I am playing Dead or Alive Xtreme 2 I know that the first thing you think of is “there’s only one reason to play that game in 2009.” But it’s not what you think, honest. Yes, it’s an archaic collect-a-thon that was excoriated by the press for a variety of reasons both just and unjust. But the Xtreme series actually does manipulate the player in fascinating ways. Xtreme 2’s failure to appeal also speaks to the failure of some modern gaming conventions, and specifically suggests that maybe Achievements shouldn’t be mandatory on every title under the sun. If we can all disregard the nauseating breast physics for a second (and I understand this is very, very difficult) I’ll try to explain.

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  • Box Art Worth Remembering: Dragon Warrior III (NES)

    Posted by Nadia Oxford

    Gamers are a resourceful species. We play our games, and then sharpen our claws on the box art. This has been our way for decades. It's an old practise, rich with tradition. I mean...look at this stuff.

    North American box art has only recently stopped trying to hide the flavour of its innards. Anime character designs, for instance, were used very sparingly until the latter half of the PSOne's life. Instead, A-list titles like Castlevania: Symphony of the Night and Suikoden received jewel case covers that would have been well-suited for a “Count With the Count!” Sesame Street soundtrack, and an instructional CD on 108 ways to draw a generic hero.

    Regardless, I think some interesting design choices came out of that strange era. When box art illustrators put forth an effort, the end result was comparable in quality to the original Japanese work. One of my favourite examples is from a title that remains one of my all-time beloved: Dragon Warrior III for the NES.

    In 1991, Dragon Ball Z was still millions of years away from American audiences, thus rendering Akira Toriyama more or less nameless on this side of the pond. For Dragon Warrior III Enix of America chose a box design that was absent of any title characters—an interesting choice, given Dragon Warrior III's emphasis on character classes and large parties.

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  • Of Previews and Other Demons: God of War III is Not God of War III Yet

    Posted by John Constantine



    I may write them, I may read them, but this does not mean I like previews. They are an inherently flawed cog in the grand videogame business machine and they’ll never go away. Previews, any early criticism of a game not done by the developer, publisher, or their QA teams really, is essential. Any creator needs to get a little distance from their creation to gain perspective, to consider it in a new way before it’s finished. Novelists, essayists, filmmakers, musicians, and academics work in concert with editors, engineers, producers, and any number of other peers on the path to birthing their work. Given, games are unique. Authors don’t typically have journalists reading sample chapters of a book two years before it comes out, judging what sentences work, which don’t, and predicting, for thousands of readers, whether or not the book will suck as a whole. "Well, Rushdie seems to be up to his old tricks. We got eyes on with chapters 3 through 6, and his circuitous sentence structure is in place, but we can't tell if his classic characterization is there to be complimented by it. Here's hoping it's a torrid family history worthy of the Fatwaed-One's legacy when it releases this fall."

    Just not how it works.

    The problem is that videogame previews shape public perception, and sometimes success, of an unfinished game based on what’s almost always a trifling sample of the overall experience. Sometimes, especially early in development, the previewer doesn’t even play the game. Eyes-on, hands-on, final impressions, review is the simple version of the cycle, but sometimes a game’s reputation can be irreparably tainted by the hands-on stage. Most previews lean positive – because the writer wants to believe in the game/stay in the publisher’s good graces – so when a preview is negative, especially if it’s of a marquee game, it stands out. The best case scenario is that this negativity comes from an honest place and it helps the developer make a better game. Worst case scenario, the writer just doesn’t like the game, and dumps on it because they’re filling a word count. Maybe Dennis Dyack’s been right all along. Maybe games shouldn’t be previewed at all. Maybe people would have like Too Human more if it hadn’t been for its tumultuous development and terrible, terrible preview reputation.

    Probably not. Too Human wasn’t a very good game.

    This leaked footage of God of War III from GDC that’s been making the internet rounds today is what got my brain cooking on previews.

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  • Daily DS Sutra - Union of the Elephant

    Posted by Derrick Sanskrit

    Today, we look at another of the more interesting poses in amateur French developer Cid2Mizard's SutraDS, a homebrew Kama Sutra application for the Nintendo DS. Once again, if you are offended by imagery or discussion of a sexual nature, please do not continue reading this post and generally avoid the rest of hooksexup.com

    Today's position: Union of the Elephant

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  • Games You Can Never Go Back To: Animal Crossing

    Posted by Bob Mackey

    As a member of the nerd illuminati (also known as the gaming press), it's my job to get people hooked on video games, if only to make myself look less nerdy in comparison. Friends, family members, loved ones; all have been infected by a love of gaming--with me being the main carrier of this virus. So, when my girlfriend expressed a desire to get back into gaming with the purchase of a DS, I was as helpful and overbearing as anyone in my position could be.

    And when it came to getting a game to go with this system, there was only one answer: Animal Crossing. While I prefer the GameCube version out of all the others (you can't beat free NES games), someone who's never played Animal Crossing has absolutely no idea what they're getting into; I was the same way back in the Fall of 2002, when this cutesy little underhyped Nintendo game charmed and surprised the pants off of me. But, as I watch my girlfriend become delighted by the antics involved with being enslaved by a shop-owning raccoon, I'm brought back to that old saying: you can't go home again.

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  • Excitement Time: A New EarthBound on the Way?

    Posted by Bob Mackey

    We here at 61FPS looove Earthbound. And from personal experience I can tell you that being a mega-fan of the series is an extremely bi-polar experience; we have our good moments, such as the recent Mother 3 translation, but we also have our bad moments, like every time Nintendo completely ignores the possibility of us seeing any Mother games on the Wii's Virtual Console.

    Now, we Mother fans are seemingly beset with more bad than good news, but a recent report from Earthbound Central may contain some of the best news we've heard in a looong time. In an article in the latest Weekly Famitsu about developer Level 5's unfortunately-named digital download service, Roid, the magazine hints at a possible new Mother game--though it doesn't drop any names. Here's what the amazing man behind EBC has to say about all of this:

    The article doesn’t say anything about the screenshot in particular, except asking, “Could this be THAT RPG?!” and that really big-title names are scheduled to be released on it. It’s not clear if this screenshot is just concept art or what, though. If you know Japanese, you can do an interactive demo of how the Roid interface works here, but there are no game demos or anything of interest in relation to this image.

    People didn't seem to believe Tomato's initial post, so, in Earthbound Central tradition, he overanalyzed the single, blurry picture of this mystery game to show how much of it was similar to EarthBound.

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John Constantine, our superhero, was raised by birds and then attended Penn State University. He is currently working on a novel about a fictional city that exists only in his mind. John has an astonishingly extensive knowledge of Scientology. Ultimately he would like to learn how to effectively use his brain. He continues to keep Wu-Tang's secret to himself.

Derrick Sanskrit is a self-professed geek in a variety of fields including typography, graphic design, comic books, music and cartoons. As a professional hipster graphic designer, his recent clients have included Hooksexup, Pitchfork and MoCCA, among others.

Amber Ahlborn - artist, writer, gamer and DigiPen survivor, she maintains a day job as a graphic artist. By night Amber moonlights as a professional Metroid Fanatic and keeps a metal suit in the closet just in case. Has lived in the state of Washington and insists that it really doesn't rain as much as everyone says it does.

Nadia Oxford is a housekeeping robot who was refurbished into a warrior when the world's need for justice was great. Now that the galaxy is at peace (give or take a conflict here or there), she works as a freelance writer for various sites and magazines. Based in Toronto, Nadia prizes the certificate from the Ministry of Health declaring her tick and rabies-free.

Bob Mackey is a grad student, writer, and cyborg, who uses the powerful girl-repelling nanomachines mad science grafted onto his body to allocate time towards interests of the nerd persuasion. He believes that complaining about things on the Internet is akin to the fine art of wine tasting, but with more spitting into buckets.

Joe Keiser has a programming degree from Johns Hopkins University, a tiny apartment in Brooklyn, and a fake toy guitar built in the hollowed-out shell of a real guitar. He writes about games and technology for a variety of outlets. One day he will stop doing this. The day after that, police will find his body under a collapsed pile of (formerly neatly alphabetized) collector's edition tchotchkes.

Cole Stryker is an American freelance writer living in York, England, where he resides with his archeologist wife. He writes for a travel company by day and argues about pop culture on the internet by night. Find him writing regularly here and here.

Peter Smith is like the lead character of Irwin Shaw's The 80-Yard Run, except less athletic. He considers himself very lucky to have this job. But it's a little premature to take "jack-off of all trades" off his resume. Besides writing, travelling, and painting houses, Pete plays guitar in a rock trio called The Aye-Ayes. He calls them a 'power pop' band, but they generally sound more like Motorhead on a drinking binge.


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