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  • Criterion Collection + Videogames = Best GAF Thread Ever

    Over the years, much has been made of Mega Man's hideous box art, and of the general pimplyness of game art's 8-bit pubescence. But ere we hurl stones at an older era's ugly glass houses, let us first look to our own, or something!

    Like this, for example. Now that is some garish shit. Even the boxes for major games like Metroid Prime 3 aren't likely to win any design awards. Most of the time, they evoke summer-blockbuster viewing more than the subtler experiences their contents (hopefully) provide. They also tend to be stuffed full of colorful characters, when, more often, the unique experience of a game comes not from its characters but from the texture of its world.

    Perhaps realizing this, some clever commenter over at NeoGAF started a thread soliciting game box art designed in the vein of Criterion Collection DVDs — playful, inventive, minimalistic, gorgeous. It is — ahem — the best thread ever. So much the best that even I, not much for Photoshop, spent a few hours mocking up some covers myself. Hit the jump for my efforts and my favorites from the thread.

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  • The Kids Don't Get It: Sonic Epoch Advance and Misplaced Maturity

    I was talking with a friend earlier about one of fandom's most deplorable habits: forcing “maturation” upon the creative properties they supposedly love. One incident I will never be allowed to forget involved a “grown up” take on Chip 'n Dale Rescue Rangers. Gadget the mouse was pregnant, and there was a lot of swearing, spitting and smoking. The art was fantastic, but again, Gadget was pregnant, and there was a lot of swearing, spitting and smoking.

    My friend asked me if I had heard of a Game Boy Advance project called Sonic Epoch Advance. I had not. I was about to be taken to exotic new places. Exotic, dark new places choked with oil, sludge, death and F-bombs.

    Sonic Epoch Advance is a chatty action game based on DiC's old Sonic the Hedgehog cartoon—often better known as “Sonic SatAM.” Sonic SatAM earned a reputation for being dark and mature. It really wasn't, though it was ambitious for a kids' cartoon based on a video game. The plot involved Robotnik's eco-terrorism and Sonic's battle against said eco-terrorism. All things said, Sonic Epoch Advance could have chosen worse source material to expand upon.

    Unfortunately, fans are pretty good at turning maturity into self-parody, and this little fan project is no exception.

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  • Things You Should Watch: Gaming Guyz

    Nadia's Friday post about Shmorky's (of Something Awful fame) Punch-Out comic made me think of something that's also a Shmorky/video game crossover of epic proportions: Gaming Guyz. Just as his Furious Famicom Faggot series skewered the Angry Nintendo Nerd and the millions of ripoffs who think that lousy games and profanity-based analogies are the peanut butter and chocolate of YouTube, Gaming Guyz has a satirical target that's gaming related, but a bit broader: you. Well, not you, per se; the fact that the comments sections of most 61FPS posts don't make me want to end my life says a lot about the intelligence of our audience. But even though this blog is refreshingly troll-free, Gaming Guyz hosts Andy and Paulo are a chilling reminder of how gaming culture can transform us into emotionally unstable idiots with a strange attachment to Sonic the Hedgehog.

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  • Licensing Tragedies: Sonic Live!

    Topless Robot hosted a contest for the worst single-issue comic of all time. It was a tough call, but a winner emerged. Now for the surprise: Sonic the Hedgehog is involved.

    In the year 20XX, Archie put out a single-issue “comic” called “Sonic Live!” More accurately, “Sonic Live! The Last Game Cartridge Hero!” I am not sure how I am supposed to feel about that title.

    The Sonic the Hedgehog comic is actually extremely long-lived, and like any creature of slow mortality, it's taken some pretty regrettable turns. “Sonic Live!” probably marks the series' deepest plunge, but I doubt you need me to elaborate. Just think of a genuinely exciting example of real-life kids teaming up with cartoon characters who tumbled out of the television. Take your time; I'll go make a big sandwich.

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  • Chiptune Friday: Spring Into Spring With Sonic

    Though it's been feeling like Spring here in NYC for a couple of weeks (global warming has its occassional perks), the vernal equinox actually hits us at 11:44 am today. As the ice stages thaw, making way for beautiful fire flowers, should you happen to feel the urge to go outside and enjoy the world, we here at 61FPS are of course enouraging. However, since you're clearly somewhere with internet access, let's make this just a bit brighter and sunnier to get us all in the mood for months of sunshine and gaming. I can't think of a better way to kick the season off than with the theme to Spring Yard Zone from the original Sonic The Hedgehog!

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  • Sega, Show Some Decency

    In the many years since Sega's fall from grace, we've seen the company systematically destroy every franchise we've ever held dear for the sake of profit at any cost. Really, the only series that are safe at this point are the ones that are simply too unpopular to bother exploiting. Rest assured, fans of Panzer Dragoon and Jet Set Radio, you are safe. Though, at this point, it wouldn't be too crazy to see Sega sink their greedy talons into franchises that never really had a chance; I honestly wouldn't be shocked if the company announced a Burning Rangers sequel with random dungeons and a snowboarding mini-game.

    Because of the company's desperate status, Sega's had a rather spotty record lately. But one game has seemingly restored some dignity to once-great company: Valkyria Chronicles. In a world of lousy, misguided Sonic the Hedgehog games, it was a breath of fresh air to see a Miyazaki-inspired tactical RPG that brought to mind Dreamcast classics like Skies of Arcadia. Sega's reaction to this newly-restored dignity? "Let's make swimsuit-clad capsule toy versions of these great new characters!" That sound you just heard was the whole world shaking its head in shame.

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  • Dear Virtual Console: No More Alex Kidd Games, Please

    It's incredibly easy to bitch about Virtual Console, especially when you consider all of the notable games currently missing from Nintendo's digital download service. We're nearly two-and-a-half years into the life of the Wii, and still, no Yoshi's Island, no Majora's Mask, and no Earthbound. Yes, I went there; and I'd go back again if I had to. The absence of games that desperately need to be made available to Wii owners only becomes more tragic on the weeks when, like a turd sliding down the leg of a homeless man, the powers that be decide to release titles that should never be remembered, even in disgust. Ladies and gentlemen, with this week's selection of Alex Kidd: The Lost Stars, we are coming dangerously close to having the tracksuit-wearing monkey-boy's entire catalog available to a contemporary audience, and that ain't right.

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  • Namco, Why You Gotta Make Me Hit You: Sonic Co-Creator’s Unnecessary Pac-Man “Comeback”



    Namco has hired Hirokazu Yasuhara to create a new Pac-Man to celebrate the little yellow glutton’s 30th anniversary in 2010. Namco chief of operations Makoto Iwai told Gamasutra that they’re making the game as a comeback vehicle for Pac-Man, to try and make him a relevant icon in today’s game market. When it comes to making great character-based games, you can’t do much better than Yasuhara. Yuji Naka’s gotten most of the glory, but Yasuhara was the real brains behind Sonic the Hedgehog’s glory days. He acted as director for the original Sonic trilogy on Genesis, was lead designer for Sonic 3 and Sonic & Knuckles, and headed up Sonic’s unfinished Saturn debut, Sonic Extreme. After leaving Sega, he joined Naughty Dog and acted as a designer for Jak 2 and 3 as well as Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune. That right there is a flawless pedigree, a veritable trail of excellence blazed across a decade and a half.

    Why in the hell has this man been hired to make Pac-Man relevant again when Pac-Man’s creator already did just that two years ago? Someone please tell me how it makes sense to hire one of the best platformer designers of all time to make a freaking Pac-Man game? History has shown that a Pac-Man platformer is a terrible, terrible idea. Oh, you don't remember?

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  • Artist Updates Classic Game Characters

    Over at a blog named Plan to Fail, there dwells a Canadian illustrator named Tom Rhodes. When Reading Week temporarily sprung Tom from the shackles of higher learning, he decided to celebrate by “updating” classic video game characters.

    His first revisions centered on the characters from Earthworm Jim and Star Fox:

    ”I've never played [Star Fox] for more than 20 seconds, because I'd been spoiled by flight simulators I liked a lot more, but I always thought the character looked cool, so that's probably why he came to mind.”



    The introduction of Krystal may have turned Star Fox into generic furry pin-up material, but in my heart, Fox is the last stand for genuinely cool animal-men.

    A few more examples of Rhodes' work follow after the jump.

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  • Lest We Forget: Sonic and the Black Knight Due Out Next Week

    It seems like it was only yesterday when Sega stunned the world with the announcement of Sonic and the Black Knight, a game that seems like nothing more than a contemptuous response to sensible gamers that think Sonic has strayed way too far from his roots. "Oh, so you want to run really fast through creative landscapes, eh? Well, have some combo swordfighting! We'll see you suckers next year with Sonic the Hedgehog Presents Quicken 2010."

    I'm wondering just what the hell Sega was thinking with the very concept of the game to begin with. Even Mario, the most versatile video game character to ever exist, would look like a complete tool holding a sword--and if you look at all of his weapons in any of the Mario RPGs, you can tell Nintendo knows this as well. But I guess Mario was never intended to look scowly or "cool" as our friend Sonic over there, who's currently sporting a robot hand for what I assume makes sense in the content of Black Knight's story. I really don't want to do the research to find out why because if I recall this information out loud at a later date, someone may execute me on the spot. That's the price you pay for knowing terrible, terrible things about terrible, terrible video games. But don't let me taint your opinions; check out the Black Knight trailer and witness the disaster for yourself.

    Video after the cut.

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  • The Reason Why Sonic the Hedgehog Doesn't Dig Water Sports

     As a prank, I'd like to run around the world and replace every zoology textbook with video games. In no time we'll have students believing they can make turtles come out of their shells by jumping on them, and that hedgehogs will sink like stones if you throw them in water.

    Indeed, Sonic the Hedgehog borrows a lot of traits from Super Mario, but there is one vital difference: Mario can float in the water with the ease of a dead body. Sonic, built for speed and raw attitude, cannot bother his cool self with swimming lessons at the Y.

    Videogamer.com wanted to find out the real reason Sonic can't swim. Did Yuji Naka intend for us to experience water physics from a new perspective? Did he want us to feel the panic that blossoms in our chests when the five-second countdown chops at our ears and we're helpless to simply swim to the surface?

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  • Sonic's Secret Past

    The ins and outs of Sonic the Hedgehog continuity have mostly been a mystery to all but the most insane fans of the franchise, mainly because Sonic's story really hasn't been all that consistent over time. We've gone from a little blue dude running on checkerboard-patterned dirt to emo inter-species love stories without any explanation as to just how this drastic change makes any sense whatsoever; and let's not forget about the multiple cartoon series and Archie Comics that make pinning down one true story of Sonic nigh impossible.

    But from the character's very inception, he did have his own "bible," which is essentially a guide to ensure that the Sonic characters, as well as the setting they exist in, remain consistent regardless of who's handling the property. Over time, the mishandlers of the Sonic franchise have veered very, very far away from what the universe is supposed to be; but, thanks to some leaked documents from a NEOGaf user aptly named TheSonicRetard, confused gamers worldwide can catch a glimpse of Sega's intentions for Sonic from day one.

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  • Mario and Sonic Coming To Canada

    I guess I'm still a child at heart, because earlier today I was all, “Oh wow, Sonic and Mario are coming to Canada!

    When the Pope or the Queen comes to Canada, it's like, eh, who gives a toss. But fictional video game mascots? I am so honoured.

    I'm also a little sore. Mario and Sonic at the Winter Games (unofficial title) will be taking place in Vancouver, most likely because that's where the 2010 Winter Games will be occurring. Toronto just barely lost the 2008 Summer Games to Beijing, which is where Mario and Sonic first went head-to-head in the kind of foot race we dreamed about as children.

    (According to sales figures, they're still running that foot race on a track paved with dollar bills. Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games remains a top-seller for the Wii.)

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  • Let’s Tap Comes to America, Brings Amazing Theme Song With It



    Yuji Naka would like to remind that you should not, under any circumstances, call it a comeback. He has been here for years, spending his precious hours rocking his peers and putting various suckers in fear. The creator of Sonic the Hedgehog, producer of Nights and Burning Rangers is going to take this itty bitty world by storm. Have no doubt that he is just getting warm.

    Yes, Naka and his new studio Prope (pronounced Pro-pay) are bringing their family-style mini-game collection Let’s Tap to North America. Its wacky little box too. If you haven’t heard of Let’s Tap before, it’s understandable. The game hasn’t gotten too much press since its announcement last September or even after its December release in Japan. Check this trailer for the awesomest theme song in history.

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  • You’re Doing It Wrong: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Franchise Misuse



    I understand. Using a familiar property to sell a game is a great way to make it popular. Just look at the myriad faux-sports games Nintendo’s made in the past decade. Would Tennis have been a hit on Gamecube? Hell no. That’s why you give Mario and everyone else living in a Mushroom Kingdom area code a racket and put them on the courts. The familiar will bring people in to play something they wouldn’t have otherwise. While the franchise-means-audience maxim holds true, I’m baffled by the way certain properties get used. Sonic Riders is a perfect example. Why in the hell would you make not one, but two separate racing games starring Sonic the Hedgehog when nobody runs? It would be like making a Transformers game where Optimus Prime spends the game renewing his trucking license.

    Ubisoft’s new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles game for Wii is just as misguided.

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  • The Economy Strikes Again: Layoffs at Sega

    In what seems like the worst time ever for employment in the video games industry--aside from the early 80s crash, of course--the bad news doesn't seem to stop a-comin'. And today is no different; a recent news report just came out of Edge Online stating that 30 employees at Sega of America have been given the axe. Here's what a Sega representative had to say about the downsizing (copied from the Edge's report):

    "Sega of America has grown at pace with the booming videogame industry, but at this time of economic recession, harsh retail landscape, and the reality of business challenges to profitability, we must take steps to reduce our cost structure and ensure long-term success."


    Joystiq's take on the matter was a bit perplexing to me:

    In the future, it would be nice to see Sega invest in the promotion of its more unique titles (Valkyria Chronicles says hello) instead of focusing so intently on that past-his-prime blue hedgehog.

    If you'll allow me to play Devil's Advocate here, producing nothing but Sonic the Hedgehog games would probably be the best course of action for Sega (economically, of course) until we get out of this soul-sucking slump.

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  • Things that Make Me Swear Profusely: A Top 10 List - part 1



    I love video games. If you're reading this you probably do too. And yet, even games I like often have parts that I hate. Parts that annoy and dissatisfy. Parts that disappoint. And parts that force my entire vocabulary of profane wordage to erupt involuntarily from my throat in blind rage.

    Starting with the mildest offenders and working our way up, let's see what sets me off.

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  • When Tiger Handhelds Ruined Hope and Birthdays

    I grew up in a recession that echoes these days of cheer and plenty to a certain degree. One key difference is that parents in the '80s were less likely to risk riding the credit bronco. If there was no money to get you the latest tech toy, you damn well weren't getting the latest tech toy.

    That's why some lucky kids had Nintendo and other kids had to settle for Tiger's Electronic Handhelds.

    Topless Robot has a gallery of the 10 Most Worthless Tiger Electronic Handheld Games. You risked receiving these little beeping plastic bricks if you asked for a Nintendo game that had a Tiger counterpart. For a fraction of the cartridge price, you could play a fraction of the game.

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  • Music About Video Games Friday: Dr. Robotnik (Eggman)

    Two months ago, a consortium named Intercontinental Music Lab released their album Superheroes of Science, 12 songs about historical scientists and their works...and one song about a fictional scientist and his foibles.What fictional character was deemed a brilliant enough scientist to have their song stand alongside the likes of Wilhlem Conrad Rontgen, Galileo Galilei, and Wilhelm Reich? Why, Sonic the Hedgehog's arch-nemesis Dr. Robotnik, of course! (as if the picture at right didn't give that away)

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  • Sonic Unleased: Worse Than Syphilis

     

    My husband and I bought a certain game about a certain hedgehog being unleashed. We were playing Tails' Tornado Quick Time Event when suddenly I felt something like a gas bubble travel gently up my spine and pop in my brain. After that, a numbness spread to the tips of my fingers and I thought I would never feel happy, angry or sad ever again.

    I realised I was wrong when an acquaintance on Facebook mourned his return to work and I automatically replied with, “Sonic Unleashed is worse than syphilis.”

    I've decided it would benefit me to stay indoors until I can be sure I won't respond to greetings/questions from retail clerks, doctors and policemen in the same manner.

    I guess I was taken in by the infamous Sonic Cycle, which is interesting because I thought I was aware of the writing on the wall after Sonic Adventure 2. This is the first time in ages I've given the Blue Streak a moment to redeem himself in my eyes.

    Sure enough, Sonic ran in and only had time to belt out “HEY, WATCH THI--” before he tripped, hit the ground at 300 MPH and exploded.

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  • Sonic the Hedgehog Fans Really Exist

    Sonic the Hedgehog is a joke. That is his only function. Whenever I'm writing an article/blog post/grocery list, some burn on Sonic the Hedgehog will inevitably appear on the page. I can't help it; the series is such an easy target that jokes about about cross-species love and stretchy-armed werehogs are starting to come into being of their own accord. But even though Sonic may be have the least dignity of any video game character next to Duke Nukem, he still has his fans.  Fans that feel so strongly of their love that they're willing to show you the results of their devotion while wearing a t-shirt made 16 years ago.  I will show you such a fan.  Thank god YouTube allows us into the bedrooms of sick individuals, where previously only social workers were allowed to tread.



    I still have to wonder just where these people come from.

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  • On Sega and the Proper Use of the Wii in 2009

    Every year around this time, I do my annual budgeting for the next year. It consists of these three steps:

    1. Look at the release list for the next few months
    2. Cry
    3. Order a year’s worth of bulk ramen

    Historically, the release of the Nintendo spring schedule alone doesn’t get me to step two. This year it has, but it’s not my fault—the only totally unjustifiable thing I will probably haul out of a store in the spring is Coraline, which will go directly into the “stupid things I’ve bought because of an unhealthy and often inexplicable love of Neil Gaiman” pile.

    No, it’s Sega’s fault. Look at the entirety of the publisher’s Nintendo lineup: a new House of the Dead game. MadWorld, the latest post-modern brawler from the creators of the last, and only, post-modern brawler, God Hand. And a…Sonic game. But those are usually slightly better on Wii!

    This got me looking at Sega’s Wii lineups both new and old, which taken together paint a picture of a publisher that is throwing full support behind the Wii while not falling into the pit of making endless cheap-o party games. In fact, Sega’s Wii games cater almost exclusively to the core. There’s the upcoming first-person shooter The Conduit, as just one example. Looking back, the company has put out, amazingly, new Nights and Samba De Amigo games. And Sega’s cheap-o output has largely been ports of super cheesy arcade games like House of the Dead, Ghost Squad, and Sega Bass Fishing, games old timers like me greatly appreciate. The only casual minigame collection in there is Let’s Tap, and that’s a game where the controller is also the box it comes in. Not all of these games were successful at what they intended to do, but all the same, this is not typical use of the console!

    So congratulations Sega, you’ve learned something that it took other companies till this week to figure out: that the Wii is big business, a lot of people have them, and maybe some exciting, top-tier content on it would be good. Extra bonus points should be giving for picking up the ball Nintendo dropped and actually focusing the brunt of the effort on longtime fans.

    A couple other choice picks from the Nintendo release list after the break.

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  • Looking Ahead: 10 Wii Games that I'm Looking Forward To in 2009. part 2



    Everybody is making lists this time of year (and checking them twice) so I figured I'd get in on the act. While most of the lists I'm seeing pop up reflect on games of the past year, I figured I'd wish ya'll an early Happy New Year and knock off a couple lists of games I'm looking forward to in 2009.

    Continued from part 1...

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  • Sonic Unleashed is Filled With Lies

    This is a lie: “Sonic is all about speed. Without it, he is not Sonic. So we needed to put absolute priority on the sense of speed.” – Yoshihisa Hashimoto, Project Lead, Game Director, and Lead Game Designer on Sonic Unleashed

    This is also a lie: “Yes, I think this will be the game Sonic fans have been waiting for. Sonic will be reborn in the state he always should have existed in with a new control scheme, fresh new gameplay elements, all while simultaneously returning to Sonic’s roots.” – Yoshihisa Hashimoto

    Yes, Sega has pulled quite the switcheroo with Sonic Unleashed. The very first screens and video that leaked last spring showed only the gorgeous 2D/3D platforming levels in Sonic Unleashed and, since then, Sega has placed all emphasis on these portions in their promotion. It’s classic Sonic play in 3D! It’s a return to Sonic’s roots! It’s what people want in their Sonic games! Even just two months ago, when I sat down to demo the game, I was allowed to watch and play a number of Unleashed’s platforming levels. But only a portion of one werehog brawler level was shown and I wasn’t allowed to play that. Wasn’t ready, they said. Based on what I played then, Unleashed really was the perfect 3D Sonic. It was fast, gorgeous, and you actually had to play the game; pressing right to sprint through Unleashed’s pan-continental levels wasn’t enough to win.

    Well, I finally sat down with the finished version of Sonic Unleashed last night. Turns out Yoshihisa Hashimoto is big liar. He lies to people. He obscures the truth behind honeyed words. He is not a nice man.

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  • Sonic: Nope, Still Not Into You

    A while back, I blogged about how my personal problems with Sonic the Hedgehog were keeping me from enjoying his supposedly "good" games.  I didn't have time to play much over my admittedly short and action-packed Thanksgiving break, but I was able to test out my Sonic Hatred Hypothesis on what's supposed to be one of the best installments the series has seen in years: Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood.  This game held quite a bit of promise for the simple reason that it was an RPG that Sonic Team didn't touch with their dirty, dirty hands.  And 1UP.com's review even gave it an A!

    But still, that fundamental hatred for Sonic and His Shitty Friends goes a long, looong way.

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  • Sonic Unleashed's Silver Lining

    The reviews for Sonic Unleashed are out, and they ain't pretty.  It seems that the enthusiast press is showing a lot more skepticism about all of the recent hedgehog reboots, too; Sega's claim of "This time we did it, guys!" has been used so many times that I honestly can't see what angle they're going to approach the next Sonic game from.  Really, the only way that they could save face would be to include a formal apology signed by every member of Sonic Team and a crisp, new one-hundred dollar bill inside every copy of Sonic 2: Unleashed Further.

    But recently, a magical thing happened: something of moderate to good quality related to Sonic the Hedgehog has been released to the public.  Obviously, this is big news.  The item in question, Night of the Werehog, is an animated short which I assume was made to promote Unleashed.  This CGI cartoon may star a character I've grown to hate and a new character I hated immediately, but it's also cute, clever, and, most importantly, tells an interesting story without a single line of dialogue.  We can only hope Sonic Team can learn from this:

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  • Fandom: Gone to the Movies



    Video game fans are something else. I've been a gamer since forever but despite my long term interest in the industry, I'm simply not at the level of people who create self playing Mario levels or sprite based Flash movies. These are the super fans who have talent (and a lot of time) on their hands and aren't afraid to use their powers for the forces of geekiness.

    Today I simply must pay homage to the creation of one “Alvin Earthworm” who has brought us Super Mario Bros. Z.

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  • Quality? Not For You, America

    Yesterday, i gave pure evil the benefit of the doubt and claimed that Sonic Unleashed might not be completely disappointing. Soon after making that post, I found out some disturbing news: we (meaning all of you proud, patriotic Americans out there) are getting an inferior version of a game that promises to at least be better than airborne, infectious cancer. According to Wired's Game|Life:

    Sega has announced that the Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3 versions of Sonic Unleashed in Japan -- where it's known as Sonic World Adventure -- are getting pushed back from their original December 18 release date to the nebulous "spring 2009."

    The move doesn't affect the Wii version -- still set for December 18 -- and the only reasons stated for the delay are to "further enhance the content" and "improve the quality" of the title.

    The North American Xbox 360 version of
    Unleashed is set to come out November 24, and Sega's US site for the game has no mention of any delays.

    The transparency of quotes like "further enhance the content" and "improve the quality" are pretty astounding.  Where was Sega's PR department, whose job is to turn blunt statements like these into easy-to-swallow lies?  You know, stuff like "Our computers ran out of blue" and "We need to stock up on more RAMs."  Right now, Sega's statements are implicitly stating that there will be a lack of both content and quality in the American version of Unleashed, and that ain't good.  It's not uncommon to see a refined edition of a game come out later in Japan and never make it to the States--like Final Fantasy XII International Zodiac Job System--but this is just some straight-up Sega dumbness.

    Sega, we all want to like Sonic again. Why won't you let us?

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  • New Sonic Game Looking Strangely Tolerable

    I know, I know; Sega's been using the marketing ploy of "This time we didn't fuck up!" for over half a decade now. But there's something strangely compelling about this new footage of Sonic Unleashed I recently scrounged up from YouTube. Many of the franchise's problems still exist in Unleashed, but the game play looks refreshingly traditional. Check it out:



    The clip starts out with a less-than-promising addition: a new shitty friend for Sonic who goes by the name of Chip. There's also about two minutes of cutscenes, when all we really need are two sentences: "You are Sonic. Go fast."  But the game play--which resembles the best parts of Sonic Adventure 1 and 2--looks okay, even if it does feature the same sort of cruise control action that's been attached to Sonic since the Dreamcast days.  I've always been under the impression that Sonic needs a complete overhaul; his simple transition from 2D to 3D produced a rather empty series of games that don't require much input from the player.  But still, we takes what we can gets, and Sonic Unleashed could be much worse.

    Of course, I'm going to hold my tongue until the game actually comes out--I won't exactly be surprised if Unleashed needlessly includes multiple game genres and interminable stories about inter-species love. But at least we know that they've gotten one level right! That's all the congratulation my healthy sense of skepticism will allow.

    Related Links:

    Sonic Bound: After Three Botched Reboots, Sonic the Hedgehog May Finally Get His 3D Due
    The Aberration of Sonic
    Sonic's Lost Innocence...Sort Of.

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  • Game Compilations: The Good, the Bad, and the Fugly

    Time was, I thought game compilations, museum, and anniversary collections, and anything else you’d want to call them were the cat’s meow. Greatest thing since sliced bread. The *ahem* tits. Then The Mega Man Anniversary Collection for Gamecube came out back in 2004. Fifty simoleons for all eight console Mega Man games plus an opportunity to finally play Mega Man: The Power Battle and Power Fighters? Sounds like a dream come true. Then I found out that instead of the A button making the little blue fella shoot and the B button making him jump, the buttons were reversed for the compilation. There is no way to change this control scheme. It turns playing Mega Man 1 through 6 into a personalized hell, the place where cheat code users go when they die. Compilations are dangerous business because, more often than not, the publisher puts no effort whatsoever into them and people buy them anyway. That’s how you end up with Mega Man’s jumping and shooting getting reversed, how Sega releases not one, but two Sonic the Hedgehog collections with fantastic unlockables that are almost impossible to unlock, and how Namco can release the same damn Galaga/Dig Dug/Pac-man collection nine-hundred times.

    Of course, they really can be a treat. Despite all the load times and inaccessible unlockables, the Sonic Mega Collection is still a great way to play Sonic at his best. Occasionally, budget numbers like the Capcom Classics Mini Mix, a no-frills GBA collection with Bionic Commando NES, Strider NES, and Mighty Final Fight, can come along and introduce you to games you’ve never ever heard of. (Seriously, Mighty Final Fight? When did that happen? It’s got mini Haggar!) They are a more palatable alternative to Virtual Console-style downloads too, as far as price is concerned. Sega’s just-announced Sonic’s Ultimate Genesis Collection for PS3 and Xbox 360 comes with forty games, and for thirty bucks you get what Nintendo would charge $120 for on Wii. Plus, they wouldn’t even all fit on the Wii’s memory! But again, the production values are highly questionable.

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John Constantine, our superhero, was raised by birds and then attended Penn State University. He is currently working on a novel about a fictional city that exists only in his mind. John has an astonishingly extensive knowledge of Scientology. Ultimately he would like to learn how to effectively use his brain. He continues to keep Wu-Tang's secret to himself.

Derrick Sanskrit is a self-professed geek in a variety of fields including typography, graphic design, comic books, music and cartoons. As a professional hipster graphic designer, his recent clients have included Hooksexup, Pitchfork and MoCCA, among others.

Amber Ahlborn - artist, writer, gamer and DigiPen survivor, she maintains a day job as a graphic artist. By night Amber moonlights as a professional Metroid Fanatic and keeps a metal suit in the closet just in case. Has lived in the state of Washington and insists that it really doesn't rain as much as everyone says it does.

Nadia Oxford is a housekeeping robot who was refurbished into a warrior when the world's need for justice was great. Now that the galaxy is at peace (give or take a conflict here or there), she works as a freelance writer for various sites and magazines. Based in Toronto, Nadia prizes the certificate from the Ministry of Health declaring her tick and rabies-free.

Bob Mackey is a grad student, writer, and cyborg, who uses the powerful girl-repelling nanomachines mad science grafted onto his body to allocate time towards interests of the nerd persuasion. He believes that complaining about things on the Internet is akin to the fine art of wine tasting, but with more spitting into buckets.

Joe Keiser has a programming degree from Johns Hopkins University, a tiny apartment in Brooklyn, and a fake toy guitar built in the hollowed-out shell of a real guitar. He writes about games and technology for a variety of outlets. One day he will stop doing this. The day after that, police will find his body under a collapsed pile of (formerly neatly alphabetized) collector's edition tchotchkes.

Cole Stryker is an American freelance writer living in York, England, where he resides with his archeologist wife. He writes for a travel company by day and argues about pop culture on the internet by night. Find him writing regularly here and here.

Peter Smith is like the lead character of Irwin Shaw's The 80-Yard Run, except less athletic. He considers himself very lucky to have this job. But it's a little premature to take "jack-off of all trades" off his resume. Besides writing, travelling, and painting houses, Pete plays guitar in a rock trio called The Aye-Ayes. He calls them a 'power pop' band, but they generally sound more like Motorhead on a drinking binge.


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