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Today in Missed Connections: Those Damn Bedbugs are Back

Posted by Emily Farris

Looks like our very open-minded friend didn't quite get rid of his bedbugs... still doesn't have the girl (who may or may not have herpes). Maybe because he's 29 and still lives "in the dorm?"

OK, so I HAVE bedbugs; what if you have herpes? - m4w - 29
Date: 2007-12-07, 7:31PM EST

Yeah, the little buggers came back. Oh how I wish there were something like valtrek that you could use to keep them from biting, but the last group must have hatched a new batch of eggs with their dying breath (do bugs breathe?), deposited them in the cracks of the linoleum beneath my bed, and so here I am, arms covered in welts, looking like a fool while you look so elegant and kewl. But does that make me any less interesting, any less handsome, any less good in bed than the next guy you let have you? The odds are that this next guy has some crummy, there-for-life STD (herpes? hep-abcd?) that bug killer can't get rid of, and he is going to give you something that insecticide won't fix. So if you don't have herpes, I am definitely the kind of man you should want to meet, even if I do have bedbugs. And by the way, I am out of the dorms soon enough. I've got a sweet deal from some old Polish dude on a nice sunny apartment in Greenpoint, and I'm going to be moving in with a new bed and new bedding, sterilized clothing and not much else. My new place will be as clean as a whistle and bedbug free. So why not give me a second chance, stuck up hipster girl, and let me show more of the man whose blood bedbugs covet.

Again, I think there is something there between us worth pursuing, and we should not let talk of bedbugs or blisters get between us.

 

Previoiusly: "I had bedbugs, you had herpes."


+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT

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About Emily Farris

Emily Farris writes about culture and food for numerous publications and websites you've probably never heard of, including her own blog eefers. Her first cookbook, "Casserole Crazy: Hot Stuff for Your Oven" was published in 2008. Emily recently escaped New York and now lives in a ridiculously large apartment in Kansas City, MO with her cat, but just one... so far.

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