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God Has Found The Internet And He's Not Afraid To Use It

Posted by Verena von Pfetten

First came Moses, then Abraham Abraham, then Moses and, of course, Jesus. But it's a new age people, and God's voice, not unlike the Montauk Monster, has gone viral...

God has finally managed to transcend race, religion, socio-economic class and geography. God has found the internet, and he is sending e-mails.

Seriously. Bred out of presumed boredom, this hare-brained and yet hilarious idea of a site purports to help you spread the good word by sending your friends anonymous e-mails from God. (Though - if they're from God - they're not exactly anonymous, are they?)

You can choose from such enlightened and fully customizable options as:

Ask someone out

Let's have drinks

You're getting fat

Porn-addiction support

Invite

Thank you

Or, the ever illustrious: write your own

Our personal favorite is the drinks invite; we're thirsty:

 God Here.

Couldn't help but notice that today was a bit of a doozy. Anyway, when I
got to talking to________, he / she suggested you both grab some drinks
after work. Look, I usually don't condone such 'sinning', but your
happiness is important to me. Plus, I make the damn rules and _______ is my
boy / girl . She'll / He'll be waiting for you at _________. Peace.


P.S. - Exercise some moderation. Remember, I'm always watching.

The Lord has spoken.

Anyway, we're clearly bored and ready for some booze and thus more than happy to add one more distraction to our day. Scanner has spoken. 

[via GoldenThroneOfLight.com] 


+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT

Comments

spasmak said:

i don't like to nitpick (okay, i do like to nitpick), but didn't Abraham come before Moses?

August 4, 2008 4:27 PM

in

about the blogger

Emily Farris writes about culture and food for numerous publications and websites you've probably never heard of, including her own blog eefers. Her first cookbook will be published in fall 2008. Emily lives in Greenpoint, Brooklyn with her cat, but just one . . . so far.

Brian Fairbanks is a filmmaker living in the wilds of Brooklyn. He previously wrote for the Hartford Courant and Gawker. He won the Williamsburg Spelling Bee once. He loves cats, women with guns, and burning books.

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