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MI Teacher Wants You to Burn the Sheets After Hot Sex

Posted by Brian Fairbanks

 

Kelly Abdo is back.

The pervy Monroe, Michigan girls' volleyball coach was back in court, answering to charges that she had... wait, what's this? Even more ridiculous sex with her students?

You'll recall Abdo-- she's the one who is charged with indecent exposure because, although the student she had sex with was legal, she decided she couldn't wait to get to the boy's house and nailed him outside a house party-- as if no one would notice that!

Guys, before you start having fantasies about this woman, you should know she's completely psycho. And not in the slightly sexy way you want her to be, either:

1) She's a newlywed. For Christ's sake, she got married last year and she's already banging underage students. (See below.)

2) She reportedly forced a girl with an injured leg to perform drills for the volleyball team. Scores of parents have complained about her teaching methods and lawsuits were threatened before the latest revelations came to light.

3) Not only did she sleep with a student in a parked car, she slept with a seventeen-year-old in his house. Abdo slept with the kid and then called him to make sure he "burned the sheets" so her DNA wouldn't be detected on his bed. He neglected to or refused and prosecutors plan to weild the bedding as evidence against Abdo.

4) Idiot Girl Googled "DNA evidence and how to remove it from crime scenes and clothing," and "sex laws between teachers and students under 18 in Michigan." Also: "DNA forensic evidence," "registered sex offender," "sex offender laws," "subpoenaing text message records," and "how long text messages are stored." Moron, you should have thought of things before you had sex-- you don't look up sex laws after you break them-- it's already too late. Guilty. As. Charged.

5) There may have been some underage drinking at that party. What the hell was a twenty-something teacher doing at a high school party-- this woman was begging to be caught and put away for a century or more...

Via the Toledo Blade.

 

Related:

Today's Cradle-Robbing Cutie: Drama Teacher Lisa Glide

 

Droves of Students Coming Forward to Testify Against Skank Teacher

 

While You Were Sleeping: Scrubs & Friends


+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT

Comments

jm said:

Arg, where was she when i was in school?

December 11, 2008 4:45 PM

blackavar said:

are you kidding, this chick is perfect, she won't realise until after you're out the door that your name probably is not John Incognito and your phone number isn't really 555-867-5309.

December 11, 2008 8:18 PM

balok said:

"i" before "e" except after "c" or when sounding like "ay" as in "neighbor" and "weigh"

"I" before "E" except after "C" or when sounding like "AY" as in "NEIGHBOR" and "WEIGH"

"I" BEFORE "E" EXCEPT AFTER "C" OR WHEN SOUNDING LIKE "AY" AS IN "NEIGHBOR" AND "WEIGH"

December 12, 2008 3:55 AM

redraven said:

Caffeine

December 12, 2008 9:15 AM

About Brian Fairbanks

Brian Fairbanks, the Senior National Political Correspondent for Hooksexup, is a filmmaker living in Brooklyn or New Orleans, depending on the season. He is a heavily-armed advocate of gun control.

in

about the blogger

Emily Farris writes about culture and food for numerous publications and websites you've probably never heard of, including her own blog eefers. Her first cookbook, Casserole Crazy: Hot Stuff for Your Oven was published in 2008. Emily recently escaped New York and now lives in a ridiculously large apartment in Kansas City, MO with her cat, but just one... so far.

Brian Fairbanks is a filmmaker living in the wilds of Brooklyn. He previously wrote for the Hartford Courant and Gawker. He won the Williamsburg Spelling Bee once. He loves cats, women with guns, and burning books.

Colleen Kane has been an editor at BUST and Playgirl magazines and has written for the endangered species of dead-tree magazines like SPIN and Plenty, as well as Radar Online and other websites. She lives in exile in Baton Rouge with her fiance, two dogs, and her former cat. Read her personal blogs at ColleenKane.com.

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