The former Runaway broke big with "I Love Rock 'n' Roll," but it was her cover of the Shondells classic "Crimson and Clover" that solidified her sex appeal for boys (and girls) of the early '80s. With her porno lips, rockstar proto-mullet and runway body, when she sang: "I'm. . . not. . . such. . . a sweet. . . thing/ And. . . I'd . . . do. . . any. . . thing. . . " we all believed her. Oh, did we believe her. Her profound historical importance to women in rock belies the fact that at fifty, she's still doing her thing and looking staggeringly good to boot. —J.M.
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FIVE LIVE FIREBRANDS
Friend of Hooksexup Izzy Cihak has seen thousands of live performances, and graciously agreed to share his picks for the sexiest five of the female half:
Aja
Stomping and convulsing barefoot across dive bars in designer duds, Nico Vega's frontwoman is both enticing and horrifying. Her centerfold physique arouses a throbbing eroticism and her spasms of Rock'N'Roll angst have you wondering if you'd make it through the night.
Maja Ivarsson
Debbie Harry's Swedish counterpart has been known to splay herself across the front of a stage like a Pin-Up tart and to hurl herself into sweaty crowds for community groping in the tradition of Courtney Love all in the span of a single performance.
Maria Brink
It's no surprise that rock's sexiest MILF was recently asked to pose for Playboy. This poster girl for tattoo culture looks like she's playing the part of Alice's Adventures in C.B.G.B.s, as she flings herself across stages with the reckless abandon of Iggy Pop, without ever managing to unruffle her dress or smudge her makeup.
Adele Bethel
Doused in glitter, Adele Bethel combines the aesthetic of a punk princess and a glamour girl. She's like a classy version of Karen O: you don't have to worry about her dousing herself with cheap beer, but you know she'll probably successfully kick your ass if you ask her to take anything off.
Jillian Iva
It's surely Jillian Iva's onstage antics that have made her the queen of disco punk and acquired her a recent feature on SuicideGirls. Somewhere between a couture model and Johnny Rotten, Ms. Iva is able to flaunt the latest in high fashion while climbing drum kits and literally throwing audiences into the most soulful mosh pits the world has ever known.
4) Liz Phair
Oh, the controversial sexiness of Liz Phair: feminist icon, or kiddie-punk sell-out? While almost everyone agrees that her first album, 1993's Exile in Guyville, was her best, have her subsequent missteps (glossy productions by Avril Lavigne songwriters, etc) damaged her claim to lasting sexiness? We say no. After all, much of Guyville's sexiness came down to the impression of unhinged capriciousness that Phair gave off throughout. Listening to it, it's hard to imagine taking a five-minute drive with Phair without her pulling over and demanding head or something. So while her later albums may not be great, they certainly don't contradict that alluring obstinance. Phair will back us up, too: as she told the Village Voice last year, "I'm a messy, crazy, do-what-I-fucking-want pain in the ass. And, like, I will be forever." Thank God for that. — P.S.
3) Kathleen Hanna
Unofficial spokesperson for riot-grrl, leader of Bikini Kill and major player in early-'90s punk activism and third-wave feminism, Kathleen Hanna was our first rock goddess. She proved that female-made rock music could have a spine and a cause. She made it cool to be brash and funny, to fuse pleasure with politics. When she talks, people listen. Hell, even Kurt Cobain wrote a little song based on graffiti she scrawled in his room one night: "Kurt Smells Like Teen Spirit." And the fact that she probably could give a fuck about her sexiness does little to diminish it. — M.L.
2)Debbie Harry
One-time Playboy bunny and clubmate of Andy Warhol, the personification of Blondie hit her sultry (and sketchy) high note in David Cronenberg's techno-philosophical horror flick Videodrome, where she slowly puts out a cigarette on her own flesh. The above video (for a definitive cover of the Hooksexups' "Hangin' on the Telephone") captures her appeal: Hitchcock-blonde ice queen, with just a touch of mania. — J.M.
1)Tina Turner
Take one golden klaxon of a voice, slap on the two most ironclad gams in show biz, and what do you get? The most slamming septuagenarian in rock history. Truly the original Bionic Woman, Ms. Turner has sold two-hundred-million records and more tickets than any another solo star, all the while flipping retirement the bird. The rules of Thunderdome are simple, but the rules of being The Queen of Rock and Roll are even simpler: be the freaking best. — C.L.
