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Quantify the effects of the experiment.

On the day of my experiment, almost 300 Casual Encounters ads had been posted within a few hours. Only fifteen were from women seeking men. I answered all of them. The first was from a woman who wanted to star in a gangbang movie and was seeking spectators and participants. "Blonde, slim and curvaceous with D-cup boobs" — she certainly typed a good game. I answered her ad in earnest.

The next ad I answered was in the too-good-to-be-true category: a self-proclaimed "stunning, curvaceous, bodacious, 5'10" Vanessa Williams look-a-like" craved "over nine thick inches." Point of scale: That's a Pringles container. I thought about exaggerating my stats to get a foot in the proverbial door, but instead of trying to kid a probable kidder, I approached her as me: an intrigued writer who wanted to know if she existed.

Surprisingly, I got a response from the gangbang instigator within fifteen minutes. My naïve heart was beating out of my chest at the prospect that this whole thing was actually legit. "Candy" wrote that I should check out her profile online. I clicked the link she emailed me, which led to an age-verification site that required my credit card details. Damn! I should have known. I re-read her message and realized it was a boilerplate. I'd been had. Nevertheless, I girded my loins, convinced that there were women in the city who needed near-instant sexual gratification.

The next batch of ads I answered sounded a little more plausible:

- Thirty nine year old woman, married, a little over weight, BUT NOT OBISE, bubbly personality looking to give a hand job to a guy in a public place.

- Curvy Latina gives great erotic massage at your place.

- Beautiful 25 year old looking for tantric sex partner.

- Woman wants two or three guys to jerk off and come in a cup while I watch.

To my amazement, I got a lightning-quick response from the last ad. The respondent — ostensibly the woman looking to collect the jizz — asked some terse questions over the course of three emails. Age/stats? Occupation? Orientation? It was like I was joining the Army. She then gave me the email address of a guy named Jeff, who was "putting it all together." Jeff briskly told me that the third amigo had dropped out; it would just be me and him.

"The details keep changing, because everybody wants to do something a little different," Jeff explained. "The one guy that I thought was in, now wants to blow me."

"I don't want to blow you, Jeff," I assured him.

Then Jeff asked how I planned to enter the park, and whether I'd care if the watcher was hiding in the bushes. Huh? In the park? I scrolled back through our email thread to find the vital bit of information I'd overlooked. I found nothing. The way I had imagined it, Jeff and I were going to be sword fighting in an Upper East Side apartment while the hot, professional she-voyeur reclined in an Eames-era daybed. I asked Jeff what he meant.

His reply was frustrated: "Reading...so basic but soooo overlooked. IN the park!"

Confused, I re-read the original ad. Sure enough, the "area" field read "Central Park." I thought they meant in an apartment near the park, on Museum Mile or something. No, they actually meant in the park. I sent a follow-up, but Jeff and his friend disappeared into cyberspace and dense foliage respectively, never to be heard from again.

I decided to be proactive and post a few ads of my own. I examined other men's postings; they ranged from the pessimistic ("Good-looking, wealthy exec seeks fat and ugly woman for the fuck of your life") to the wildly optimistic ("Truck driver in Astoria looking for two, maybe three smoking-hot 20-year-olds whose hot asses crave hot cock"). Maybe outrageous ads were more successful. I decided to go for something in-between:

Man wants to have NSA make-out session with Latina hottie.

I waited twenty minutes. Nothing.

Publishing industry stud has license to ill + beer and cable.

Nada.

Because I wasn't having much luck with the ladies of Craig's List, I decided to broaden my horizons. I found a couple's ad: a Midtown duo in their early thirties were looking for a straight guy to come over at precisely 8 p.m., fuck the blindfolded wife, then leave. I emailed back-and-forth with the husband for about an hour. Was I cool about the whole deal? Sure. Could I email him pictures? Here's one of me larking around at the beach. He described his wife in loving detail. They seemed to have a very focused idea about exactly what they wanted. I was ready to do it — kind of — and was put on standby.

The husband was going to call and tell me when to come to the neighborhood, then call again to tell me precisely when I was needed. I was excited but slightly worried that I'd burst into a room full of husky leathermen and get beaten to within an inch of my life. But I had an assignment due and it seemed to be my only lead. I wrote off dinner plans and awaited the call. It never came. I have to assume they did.

About half an hour later, I answered a new ad: a "str8" guy in "NJ" wanted to "suck off a college dude: No bi's no gay's just a str8 guy who needs cash. I'm straight too. My wife will watch." We emailed back and forth. He was willing to part with a big chunk of change, but I decided that prostitution was another experiment.

At this point, I was becoming suspicious that there were no humans left in the world and that I was swapping pictures and fantasies with artificial intelligence. I give Str8 Guy my cell number, jumped in the shower and unwittingly missed his call. When I checked my voicemail, a guy who sounded like Tony Soprano thundered, "Do you know how gay you sound on your phone message, fag? OH MY GOD. So . . . gay! [disgusted exhalation, hangs up]."

That's right; the guy who was offering cash to suck cock was calling me gay. This was really not turning out how I expected.

An hour later, the tantric sex practitioner replied, or at least someone at her porn website did. At this point, I all but wrote off my chances of having a casual encounter I might actually want. As the night wore on, I was so saddened by all the bluff and artifice that I decided to use nefarious devices to get a dialogue going: I would respond to a guy's ad pretending to be a woman. Kind of like, "if you can't beat ‘em, join ‘em." I just wanted someone to write back.

I read this ad with interest:

NO DUDES! If you are a dude forget it. Ladies if you are bored and want to see a picture of a big cock, write something to me in a ladylike manner (so I know you are NOT a dude) and be prepared to be shocked.

Before I tell you how I proceeded, let me establish that anonymity really is the hallmark of Casual Encounters. When you post an ad, you're automatically assigned an alias — no one responding to your ad needs to know your real email address or identity. Just to be safe, I changed the name on my Hotmail account to Gina Schenkmann, then replied to No Dudes Guy in my best ladylike manner. This is a transcript of our email exchange:

Me: OMG I want to see! I've never done anything like this before.

Craig's List Dude: You are all woman. Tell me your impressions. I have more to show. John. [attached: picture of largish shaved penis]

OMG. It's a beaut! My boyfriend's isn't half as big. He'd kill me if he knew I was doing this. My heart is beating like....a thousand beats a second. you have more pictures? Say, how big is that thing?

Here is the face that owns that cock. You deserve a large cock. It doesn't hurt to just look. It is a little bigger than 8 inches. From this angle with the balls hanging, it looks like 9 or 10 inches. Have you ever had a big cock inside you? [attached: picture of tousle-haired, mustachioed surfer guy, wistfully sitting barefoot on oversized armchair while wearing white T-shirt and snow-washed jeans.]

Being spoken to in such a brazen manner was actually kind of refreshing. I started to get an appreciation for what the female experience on Craig's List must be like. I replied:

No NEVER! Well once. But I don't think he knew what he was doing. It only lasted for like, a second. I like your moustache! You look like Magnum PI. Er...so now what do we do?

So my ex was giving me a blow job and then decided she wanted a photo of it in my shorts. This is how it looks with a partial hard-on.

Do you like big cock? [attached: picture of guy in loose-fitting shorts with a prominent bulge].

Where'd you go?

Sorry, I had coffee with my girlfriends. I daren't tell them what I've been doing all day! I live in the East Twenties. Where are you? I don't have many pics but I included one from my internship in the city last year. Tell me what you think. [attached: picture of me dressed as a girl for my I Did It for Science cross-dressing project from last year]

Your pretty. What was your internship?

My pretty what? Oh you mean you're pretty. Well, thank you. I interned at a literary agency. Where are you?

You are going to hate me. I'm thousands of miles away and we'll probably never meet. I just like showing pictures of my cock and getting the reaction. It gets me off. Sorry.

We'll always have Craig's List, John.

What's worse: I showed John's cock picture to Brian, who said "the lighting" indicated it had been taken from a porn site. So apparently, some guy is getting off on what he thinks are women's reactions to another guy's penis which he is passing off as his own. If the whole thing weren't so comical, I would have been depressed.

But what if I posted an ad as a woman? I wanted to confirm my suspicions that women really had the pick of the Casual Encounters' litter. I wrote one up, splicing together commonly desired characteristics from other guys' sex-wanted ads:

Midwestern girl declaring next week a moral-free zone. Recovering from horrible breakup. I want to get with two friends with big cocks. I'm cute, blonde and athletic (varsity swim team). You be young, slim and cool. Your picture gets mine!

Within ten minutes, my email account had been crippled by more than seventy emails. All of them contained pictures of faces and genitalia. At least five of the responses contained pictures of two friends standing side by side, sporting erect penises and shit-eating grins. Given the context, the pictures people sent me seemed strange. Some sent black-and-white professional actor's headshots, labeled with names and special skills such as "Dialects: French, English, Swedish". Some sent pictures of themselves with family members. Some apologized for not being as ripped as they could be; one guy said he "didn't get to exercise enough this summer because of the rain." Style-wise, there was definitely a theme going on. All the guys looked kind of like early Seinfeld: tight black jeans, white sneakers, tucked and oversized button-down shirts. They all seemed to shave their sideburns too high. By and large, they lived on the Upper West Side.

I hoped that posing as woman would give me some insight. It just broke my email account and made me sad. I took comfort in the positive aspect of this online gender imbalance: at least women have the opportunity to weed out losers from an army of suitors.

Then I realized something: I had been weeded out.

Heavily caffeinated and on a mission, I was determined to make human contact, no matter what. I wrote to a chap who wanted to put together a circle jerk. He was looking for several other guys who wanted to watch straight porn, drink beer and jerk off, "maybe even get a chick in the middle." Good luck, dude. I even reached out to a guy who wanted a stranger to beat the crap out of him and trash his place while he whacked off. I received nothing in response.

I made a last-ditch posting: "Jerk off for 26-year-old straight guy in East Village. We'll have a quick chat, you do the business and I'll watch. That's it." An hour passed. It was 3 a.m. Finally, I got one response. The guy sent a thumbnail pic of his obscenely muscled torso. He asked for some of my "body pix" in return. The only body shot I could find was from my experiment with cross-dressing. Despite the fact that I'm wearing theatrical makeup and a gold lame dickbag in the shot, it provides a decent idea of what my body looks like. Ten minutes later I get the following response.

Thanks man, but i kinda need more of a gym-bod to get horned up for this sort of thing.

If I weren't doing all right in real life, this is where I would have busted out the red wine and sleeping pills.




Summarize your findings. Don't forget to attempt to identify possible variables that could result in different findings for others trying to recreate your test results.

Sixteen hours, forty-seven sent emails, a handful of lackluster responses and an obscene amount of coffee later, I was left with a bruised ego and little else. I'm convinced that if you're a straight male, finding an encounter on Craig's List is going to be anything but casual. I've been slogging away at this for hours, and the only responses I've received from people claiming to be women were either automated or involved me shelling out money for "sensual massage."

Now, I'm inclined to believe that new technologies — Webcams, cell phones, high-speed Internet connections and Photoshop — are practically conspiring to get strangers to fuck. So why have I spent a whole day on fruitless virtual curb-crawling?

The answer is in the numbers. In New York, the ratio of straight women to straight men is something like 13 to 9. But online, the proportions are reversed. Even if we imagine that all the people posting as woman actually are women, females are still hugely under-represented, and any woman posting on Casual Encounters will literally have hundreds of responses in a short period of time. Simone told me she received scores of responses to her ad, and only about 5% passed muster. Based on Simone's testimony and my own experience as a "girl," I think that for women looking for no-strings-attached sex, Casual Encounters would be infinitely more effective than meeting at a bar. As a man, however, you feel like you're playing out the relationship between sperm and egg in macrocosm.

(What's interesting is Craig's List's Erotic Services section. On Casual Encounters, men promise mind-blowing oral sex to women. Many would probably even pay to drink from the furry cup. On Erotic Services, women offer their genitalia to men at sky-high prices. If you're a woman, you get to choose who you do it with in both sections. Why not go with the guy offering $500? I would.)

I guess Casual Encounters' ultimate value is that it provides a forum where one's deviant thoughts and desires can be presented to an audience. You might find it hard to ask your corn-fed fiancée to shit on your chest. You never know how your gym buddies might react to your desire to throw a circle jerk, or how the guy in the next cubicle would stomach your request for "blumpkin." Totally understandable. It's exciting to tell the world, albeit anonymously, that you're into some freaky shit, especially if it's been repressed for a while.

But there's a grander chicken-and-egg question here. Is Casual Encounters providing a much-needed sexual outlet for people seeking wanton sex, or is it indiscriminately drawing curious rubbernecks who wouldn't dare fuck outside the traditional social construct? Casual Encounters allows you to reveal your most illicit fantasies, but it also amplifies the uncertainty, bluff and artifice that often accompanies hooking-up for hooking-up's sake.

I came into this experiment thinking I'd found a shortcut to sexual Valhalla. Although it didn't turn out that way for me, it could for some. Ultimately, like anything else, Casual Encounters is just a numbers game. Technology marches on, but the cock tease will never be obsolete. 

Do you have an idea for Grant's next I Did It for Science? Let him know .

 

        


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31 Comments

Much the same to report here. I tried craigslist once on a Friday night before heading out with some playmates to see if I could get a few more females to join us for an orgy. Only got responses from couples, and even they flaked out when it came to the logistics (though one couple that sent naked pics still wants to meet up--we'll see). I think people use CE more for online entertainment than for actually meeting in the flesh. And, incidentally, your point about the male-female demographics applies to personals sites as well. I had my fun with all that but I'm back to finding sex the old fashioned way.

NLP commented on 09/25

i read CL religiously. Missed connections are my favourite but the Casual encounters are amazing. I replied to the CE once, but it didnt go anywhere.. but i have written one (myself a female) and did get tons of responses. but i got freaked out and never did it again.. craigs list chicago rules.

cad commented on 09/25

heh, as usual the gays are way ahead of you. i've used gaydar for a few years now for those times when the urge hits. here in sydney there's always at least a couple hundred guys online wanting it, and getting it too. it's great being able to list what turns you on and getting someone to do it to/with you - often within the hour. sometimes a different someone several nights in a row. but take it from (slutty) me - if you do it too much you'll start to miss the 'getting to know you (with your clothes on)' part. i do, a lot. i guess what i'm saying is, the casual contact website is a great idea and all power to it, but the old adage holds true of the online contact fuck: the anticipation and the fantasy is way more powerful than the reality, which for me is that i still have no pulling skills in a bar setting - and i'm still on my own when i wake up in the mornings.

sl commented on 09/25

and I thought it was just me.

jmj commented on 09/25

I KNEW it, I knew it....great reading but all false promises..I wondered who hooked up, I bet your experience is typical...

mm commented on 09/25

I spent this past summer, restless and frustrated by a rather long "dry spell" due to feeling damaged by my last relationship, feeding my insomnia and and obsessive tendancies by weeding through the sleaze on CE. I even posted a few ads of my own seeking men, stating various desires (oral pleasure, spanking and phone sex) and got a litany of replies. The oral post was particularly overwhelming. This is, of course, because I'm a woman which makes me a prime target. Oh, just remembered, I also posted twice seeking women and got *nothing*. I've also looked for women seeking women on CE and found only a smattering of ads, none of which worked turned out anything to my satisfaction. Of the, literally, hundreds of responses that I got from men only a relative few were worth following up on and many of them were downright disgusting by my standards (or perhaps by most people's). However, this has also resulted in some great fun with several "no strings attached" adventurous types that were to my liking and I don't regret a minute of it. It's been good therapy for me after the depression that followed the relationship I mentioned above and began a new chapter in my life that will inevitably end at some point and begin a new one that I'm hoping might include a substantial relationship. But for now I'm just having a jolly good time. Bars *are* for drinking and since I don't drink any more they're not even useful for that in my case. One more point. I asked this guy who I'm currently encountering with why he responded to my spanking ad since there hasn't been a whole lot of spanking involved in our affair and he told me that it was more because he liked the way it was written. He usually only surfs CE for sheer entertainment purposes but something that has even a modicum of imagination to it is rare. A couple of others have made similar comments to me. I'm no literary genius but there are some who still appreciate signs of intelligent life in the land of casual sex. Quality counts sometimes even seediest of places.

j commented on 09/25

Nice going Grant - while you're at it, I think you should break down the mathematical probability that anyone using Hooksexup to try and meet somebody will actually do it, the whole macro view of sperm v egg attached... Know what else? Why don't you figure out a man's fair chance of getting casual poon if he A) Doesn't try to get it online, plus B) Doesn't go to bars, since bars are for drinking, lol... No, I've got it, do a documentary and follow a group of average dudes around until they've all offed themselves. That'd be super.

GC commented on 09/25

My friend G--- and I have both had success on Casual Encounters. We live in San Francisco (the origin of Craigslist) and in Febuary of 2001, G responded to an ad on Casual Encounters. Something to the effect of "girl not getting it enough from her boyfriend.. looking for casual fuck." G sent a pic, got a response, and a date was arranged. The girl was a bit flaky, rescheduling the date and stuff, saying she didn't want to get caught. In the meantime, I was feeling rather competitive and responded to an ad on in casual encounters on Feb. 13th, about a girl looking for a Valentine's Day date. I met the girl on the holiday after work, and although I wasn't super-enthusiastic about how hot she was, I was not going to give-up (I wish I always had this attitude). I brought her home. We fucked in my unmade bed and then the shower. It was OK and then weird afterwards. She wanted to stay and I wanted her to go. She left, I walked her to the MUNI stop. A couple days later G finally meets this girl, he has sex with her, and their relationship quickly wanes. All in all I would say we both had a good experience. BTW, I've yet to get laid off friendster. I had one date, which went fairly well, but I've all but given up in exasperation. You would think that responding in earnest to girls who have good taste in literature and film would work, but I have had enough no-responses to give up in frustration.

NK commented on 09/26

Grant, you are TERRIFIC!

NMF commented on 09/26

Yikes, for at least 30 years sex ads and comeons have always been swamped with lonely, usually unattractive men looking for young women. Hell, any half way attractive woman can get picked up in almost any bar or honky tonk in the country. Dont men realize that many phone sex operators are men posing as hot young babes? Or grossly overweight women who do NOT resemble the come on photos in the sex papers? Sad, sad, sad.

MBD commented on 09/29

Back in the mid 70s I met a buffed young guy around my age who like me, was curious about gay sex. I met him at a beach resort and although we were both straight, we ended up in his room for some hot man on man fun. Seeing our naked selves in the mirror, both of us tanned all over, was a real turn on. It was the first and only gay sex for me, but seeing our hard ons and teasing and licking his body and cock was a rush. I learned how to have anal sex with a girl friend with plenty of lube and patience, and I was astounded at the number of women who are curious about this besides lesbian sex with boyfriends as spectators. God, the sex parties that were out there after a day at a nude beach, back in the mid 70s! Some of the young babes could hardly wait to get to a party and show off their tanned buns and shaved pussies, besides perky nipples to be tweaked and licked. Ah, the memories.

BCE commented on 09/29

Great tale. It made me try out Craig's List. And I met a great guy in town for business just looking for someone to hang out with. Ended up having a great few days together. I even got very sick and he stayed and took care of me. I think I at the least found a friend in Philly. (I am in Dallas.) Thanx, Craig's List! (for the great oral sex I got!!!)

MM commented on 09/30

I saw Grant's varsity swimmer ad. I didn't respond, largely because my girlfriend would be upset but also because I have an average-sized cock.

CAL commented on 10/01

You're such a fucking funny writer- and I really enjoyed it- but I felt like it was sort of a cop out. Like ending stories in middle school with "and then she woke up, because it was just a dream," because your paper is late. You've got a following now Grant, I think everyone wanted to see you actually meet someone- I suppose that doesn't work when you're under deadline. And I guess it's better that you aren't dead or infected with the clap now. Funny funny.

jas commented on 10/02

Sooooo.....I take it you and your girlfriend broke up. Oh well. So much for your experiment with strap-on anal sex.

a commented on 10/03

the author asks the hard question and then forgets it. his friends are succeeding, why cant he? i still want to know. i also want to know how i can meet women like feedbacker j 9/25. do i have to leave portland boregon? i didnt meet them in the bay area either so its probably me not my location. altho the demographics are even worse here, on the casual encounters CL site, its only @1% purported women, and then you have to adjust for whores and men posing. the idea of answering one is almost laughable. even the relationship area has 3X as many men. and my ahem wonderfully creative ads have dredged up a difficult (tiny) collection of mostly significantly overweight women. some of whom cant be bothered to read that i am a tall, obesity-phobic gym rat and perhaps their being 5'2" and outweighing me is likely to make this problematic. before i left the bay area 3 years ago there was a popular rumor that there were at least three books being written about CL. anybody know if anythings gotten published? [email protected]

jsg commented on 10/06

Very well written article. It was informative and eloquent. Please continue coming up with interesting topics such as this.

DS commented on 11/05

I am a woman who actually has had experiences on Craigslist casual encounters. I actually prefer to answer ads not place them, because as you said the response is overwhelming. I like it because I am 38, a BBW and not all that actractive, but I seem to have my pick on guys on CL. I have met my share of weirdos, though. I don't answer/place on the pay for sex services because of the cop thing aspect.

HC commented on 05/21

I am a woman who actually has had experiences on Craigslist casual encounters. I actually prefer to answer ads not place them, because as you said the response is overwhelming. I like it because I am 38, a BBW and not all that actractive, but I seem to have my pick on guys on CL. I have met my share of weirdos, though. I don't answer/place on the pay for sex services because of the cop thing aspect.

HC commented on 05/21

Grant,, That was a hilarious read! I've been lurking about on CL for probably two weeks now,, and I basically had the same results. Prior to CL,, I had no idea that there were so many BI-women out there. Moreover,, that they ALL had "register for free" websites. WHO KNEW?! Who knew that there was such an abundance of easy going, fun loving, carefree,, and open minded bi-chicks that don't wanna play head games out there?!?!? PLUS,, possess the knack of website creation! Astonishing. Thank you CL for bringing this to my attention.

AD commented on 07/27

ugh great review on criagslist. very true

DW commented on 08/28

I just spent the last 2 days doing the exact same thing. I googled this to see if others had the same results and voila, this was exactly what I was looking for. I emailed every single woman on the Casual Encounters and obtained the same results as this experiment did. This experiment is highly valid.

BSA commented on 03/06

looking for companion

at commented on 06/14

just setting here horny as hell would like to know if there are any woman out looking to see a 9 inch big black dick if so call me are email me [email protected] or 516 581 7472 hurry i'am waiting

at commented on 06/14

I enjoyed reading this :) I'm a young woman and tried using CL's casual encounters.. no luck. I only got responses from horribly unattractive men, and I'm not very picky when it comes to these things..

JJ commented on 07/06

I just posted an ad on CL seeking a girl on campus for NSA. So far I have only received one response and the person is real. However, she is requesting money for her services. I specifically stated that no men, prostitutes, or fake ads are to respond.

JA commented on 09/07

I'll admit that it's possible to have a hook up on CL (because I have) but you've gotta do things right: [Note: This is for guys looking for REAL women.] -Scout the ads. i.e. If the subjects says they're 21, but the post says 34 then skip it. -If the post is in a quote. It means that it's copy and pasted. i.e. "&?! -Make sure they're in your city i.e. w4m-suck in Boston The ad reads: "I love the South Loop. Go Bears!" Then you want to skip. -The ad is too good to be true: "Blow & go. Age/stats/location. I come in, you unzip pants, and I suck you down." Translates: A dude, a prostitute, or a fake. -Look at the pics and compare with what they post: Pic: Brunette with green eyes. Post: I'm a bombshell blonde, with DDs, and blue eyes. Then skip it. -Gives you a website: ____localsingles.org OR something like that. Ok, so how do you find someone real? -The real women aren’t so explicit. Here are two real examples... This is about as crude a women will get: post title: DTF? -NSA - w4m - 19 Are you DTF? NSA? I am a little thick, not FAT but thick (and in dire need of a release. ... its been like 2 weeks) Must be between 18- 25 yo Prefer 8 inches or larger (Long and thick is a bonus) Must be neat, clean, trimmed NO STDs. Be discreet You host Must not be too overweight (as in like 300+ #) A muscular build makes me super horny though. I last a long while, I need someone to satisfy me. If its just a one time deal or if its a continuing F*Buddy thing, its cool by me. Face shots get replied to quicker. I need this ASAP as I am extremley horny and need a good release!! Put DTF in the subject line when you reply so I know you are real!! Ok, this “DTF”-er is probably real. She’s specific with the whole penis size, but she doesn’t use the word “cock.” She’s wants a certain age range, near her own. She’s 19 (or says she is) and wants someone between 18-25. The big deal to note on this is that “face shots get replied quicker.” She doesn’t ask to see your penis, so don’t send her your penis. She’ll see it when she wants. Also, the final line about putting something in the title (here it is DTF), is a common practice to filter out spam. This is a more realistic post: Creamy Vanilla 4 Sweet Chocolate - w4m – 39 Wow, I never knew there were such haters. I posted an ad like this before and got some great results and met some Fine, Sexy, Smart, Black men. But lately, I'm hearing from angry white men and jealous black women. To all of you I say: SAVE IT for your therapist. Black and White is All Right and is here to stay. Ask Pres. Obama..... Now on to Business!! I would like to meet a Nice, Intelligent, Black gentlemen for a full evening. I am a mature, sexy, voluptuous white woman, who knows what she likes. A casual dinner, some drinks and music and then on to Dessert..mmmm. Age is of no concern as long as your legal. Please send a pic with response or you will be deleted and absolutely no "gmail" accounts will be accepted. Seems the haters are afraid to show their TRUE selves and use that avenue to vent their mental problems. I have plenty of pics to share once I see yours. I want to have a seductive , pleasant night of "Godiva" Exstacy. Waitin on you Baby....Hit me NOW.. This “Vanilla” post sounds like the real deal. She’s probably real for a lot of reasons. She’s posted before and gotten white dudes wanting her and black girls hating her. Also she doesn’t want G-mail messages, which many spammers use too easily. She seems like she wants more than a casual encounter, because she mentions dinner, music, etc. She has some misspellings, but they’re not atrocious. My own real experience: I posted all through this summer to the m4w section, but never included a phone number or face/body shots. Take a look any day on CL m4w casual encounters and it’s overwhelming how many dudes post. There’s always one-liners and cock shots. I don’t believe a woman would find a guy like that. However, many couples go through the m4w section. My handle was that I could ejaculate a lot. I got at least four or five real couples wanting to do video. Crazy stuff. I never took them up on it. There was one woman who wanted to “eat cum,” literally those were her words. She flaked at the last minute and seemed to only want to chat. So, where was my success? On a Monday afternoon, I responded to a “Black BBW for ASAP hookup-20” w4m ad. The women just aren’t going to be the blonde, blue eyed, double-D, babes all the time. The ad was about five lines long, pretty much reiterating the title and she wanted to host. Now, that’s pretty vague. But it just read real. I sent a photo of my face (NO cock shot) and said I was interested and available almost any time. [Note: Even if you’re not available all the time, say you are. It’s like a job interview.] I waited for a few hours and got a response. She sent an e-mail asking where I lived and also telling me I looked “cute.” She sent me a link to her myspace. Here’s some details. She said she was BBW, Black, and 20. The myspace photos showed her as a larger girl, who was black, and her profile said 20 years old, as well as there was a set for a 20 year old B-day party. All that checked out. I wrote back and said she looked good, that I was interested, that I was available. I told her I’d send my cell to her return e-mail. She sent an e-mail back, giving me when she was available. I was NEVER explicit in any of my responses to her. I always flirted and signed off with, “I can’t wait to come and play.” Not pushy, but interested. I noticed the ad was taken down by the end of the night. That’s a good sign, because something left up there can easily be a pic collector, a guy, or a fake sign up website. On Wed., I went over to her apartment. She had given me her specific address. We did not meet up in advance in public. I txted a friend of mine her address and said that I would txt him when I was safe and sound at home. I suggest you do the same if you get to this point. I parked close, but not so close to her building. I wore clothes I don’t normally wear. She greeted me at the door, on the first floor apartment. She was high from having hit a bowl. I followed her to her room. I asked if she was ready. I closed the door behind me. I made sure to look around and see if there was any place someone could be hiding. I’ll admit, I was a little sacred. But I planned to bolt out the window if anything happened. She was spread on the bed. I made out with her. We took off our shirts. I sucked her tits. Fucked. Went down on her. She gave me a bj. I came on her tits. We fucked two more times. I wore a condom every time. I suggest you do the same. [Note: I’ve heard sometimes people have “rules.”] She asked me a lot of questions. I lied to every single one of them. Do NOT tell a casual encounter who you are. Make stuff up. Have fun. You’re not you. Overall, it wasn’t dirty, it wasn’t awesome. It was so-so. I’m pretty sure she enjoyed it more than me. She wanted to have it be continuous friends with benefits (FWB). I said I never did it more than once with the same person (even though it was my first time doing it with a stranger). I left and txted my friend that I was safe and sound. So, folks, it can happen if you do it right. Hope this helps.

CW commented on 09/07

I have been hooked on craigslist for a while now and will agree that is very hard to find someone that is real and not trying to sell their cam-sites. I did have some success though. My wife posted an ad in ce looking for another woman to join us as my birthday present. A couple days later a very attractive college girl responded. We emailed back and forth for about two weeks and then she came to our house. To say the least, it was a very good birthday. Since then we have had virtually no success.

DH commented on 10/10

I have been working CE for a couple of years now in Austin, Texas. I have had 2 intimate CE's with women from the site and have a couple of friends that didn't get intimate. All answered my ads. One long term FWB CE actually came off of the "strictly platonic" section. All I said was that I was interested in just being friends but open to more if there is a connection. At the same time I have also had the same results as Grant. There are a lot of fake posters and a lot of fake repliers. Obviously, I don't have success all the time. Nothing good this weekend. But, like fishing, I get a good bite and even catch one now and then. I'm a male and competing with the posting in the m4w section is awful. Your ad will be buried on the 2nd page within 30 mins. And you have to have an original post that is not the routine "i wanna fuck" ads. I put a picture in my post, but not of me, usually a sunset or something. Having a pic, makes them curious to click and see what the pic is. You can have success on CE it just takes some creativity.

wp commented on 11/28

Thank you Grant for performing this valuable experiment. I performed a similar one this week in a smaller mid-Atlantic city, with much worse results: not a single reply from a real human being, not even a flake or pretend-woman. Every last one of the 40+ emails I got back (either contacting w4m or posting m4w) tried sending me to a "verification" site or an affiliate marketing scam. AFAICT, there are no females in this burg who use CE.

FA commented on 01/27

...nor any interesting weirdos, in a city reputedly known for such. But I did have a couple wild conversations with sexy Brazilian chatbots, who also linked me to credit card scams. :(

FA commented on 01/27
 

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