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Sex Advice from Etsy Vendors

By Sarah Beall

Sex Advice from Etsy Vendors - Jessica

Jessica, 24

VulvaLoveLovely.etsy.com

What has having your own Etsy shop taught you about sex and dating?
A. People get bored quickly, so add something new and cheeky into the mix and do it often. B. Admin doesn’t like it when you get on top, but sometimes you have to or nothing gets done. C. People say they like surprises but this is a lie — so if you have something planned or some disclaimer let them know about it or things could go sour.

What's the best reason to date an Etsy seller?
We’re good with our hands.

What's the best way to pick up an Etsy seller?
Tell them you’d love to help them set up or break down at a show and nothing gets you going like last-minute runs to the post office. It will be a done deal.

How can I use my Etsy shop to impress my crush?
I’m not sure; what type of shop is it? Personally I just flash my Vulvas and they are pretty impressed one way or another.

My girlfriend and I just moved in together. I really love her, but cohabitating has basically meant that all our time together is spent battling it out over boring household stuff. I want to keep dating; can you move out and not break up?
People don’t like surprises and fine print. Don’t outright ask her to move out, instead tell her what you’re feeling and see how she reacts. Go from there. Maybe she’s feeling the same, maybe she hates your Star Wars collectibles and the way you clean the kitchen. I don’t know and neither do you, so ask her. That said, sharing a space is never easy; it took me and my fiancé two years to figure it out. We’ve been together for seven. Growing pains happen.

When I'm single, I indulge in the occasional one-night stand. Recently however, I've begun to think that I’m "an easy lay," and it makes guys uninterested in dating me. Do I need to stop having casual sex in order to find a relationship?
Not if it makes you happy and you aren’t having stupid sex with someone you don’t know well. If you’re confident then be confident in your sexuality and the choices you make concerning your body. You don’t need and you probably don’t want to have any kind of relationship with a guy shallow enough to discredit you for that. It would be a complete waste of your time, and you have bigger fish to fry.

I kissed this girl at a party and it was fun, but I was a little drunk. I've always wanted to explore my bisexual side, but I'm worried about leading her on. Should I just let it be or should I write her an email explaining the situation and see how she reacts?
I vote you let her know it. Explain the situation and see what she has to say about it. If she’s bisexual or gay she’s probably been in the same place as you have and I doubt she would be offended. Who knows? Maybe she’ll have some amazingly helpful advice for you to top it all off.

The girl I'm dating is a smoker. I can't stand it and want to ask her to quit. What's the best way to broach the subject?
I’m not good at broaching subjects; I just blurt things out. But my fiancé asked me to quit by saying that it was really important for him that I am with him as long as possible. He said he was being greedy and he was okay with admitting it. He wants me to live as long as I can so he can cuddle me for as long as possible. It was smooth, sweet, made me cry in a good way and I stopped smoking. It was a double win. If you love her, give that one a go.

Whenever we're left alone together, my best friend's boyfriend starts hitting on me. I'm really appalled and want to tell him to drop this loser, but I'm afraid he might end up dropping me instead. What should I do?
What a charmer. If it always happens, plan on it happening again. The iPhone has a handy voice recorder on it, have it ready. When you have proof, not just your word, tell your best friend about it making sure he knows that the only reason you’re telling him is because you don’t want him to get hurt. If he doesn’t get it, he’s not really your best friend: he’s a douche and he and his boyfriend are a perfect match.

Comments ( 7 )

Yay Amber! She's got the best advice in this episode
mg commented on Jul 30 10 at 2:27 am
Vulva love? Really? Oh, please....
AD commented on Jul 30 10 at 9:57 am
These ladies are awesome.
FriendofDorothy commented on Jul 30 10 at 10:19 am
Jessica (VulvaLoveLovely) is AWESOME and makes really beautiful jewellery. You should buy her stuff!
ella commented on Jul 30 10 at 12:02 pm
very useful advice, amber! especially the bit about coming out. pretty handy now that i'm in the same situation.
keet commented on Jul 30 10 at 1:02 pm
I REALLY like Amber's advice. A lot.
Caterwaul commented on Jul 30 10 at 1:35 pm
Jessica is amazing, honestly, so great to work with and her products are the best!
warmraspberry commented on Jul 30 10 at 4:48 pm

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