GQ’s Zach Baron spent a month with rap star-turned-eccentric zillionaire 50 Cent in the hopes of learning some life lessons from a man who has done it all. 50 Cent is successful almost beyond measure, and is a colossal failure at the same time. His first album in five years, Animal Ambition, is out today. But no one cares about that (the 10 [!] singles released so far have an accumulated 23 million YouTube views. “In Da Club” alone has 202 million). People only care about his disastrous first pitch at a Mets game last week. Zach Baron theorized that 50 Cent, who has been on top and at the bottom at the same time, has some wisdom to impart. And he was right. Fiddy told him to make a vision board, and have his girlfriend make one too:
50 Cent thinks for a minute. Actually, he says, my girlfriend — the one I just mentioned, the one I’d just moved in with? 50 Cent would like her to make a vision board, too. Then we’re going to compare. “Take things out of your folder and things out of her folder to create a folder that has everything,” he says. “Now the vision board is no longer your personal vision board for yourself: It’s a joint board.” That joint board will represent what we have in common. It will be a monument to our love.
But there will be some leftover unmatched photos, too, in each of our folders. And that’s what the joint board is really for — what it’s designed to reveal. “The things that end up on your vision board that aren’t in hers are the things that she has to accept,” 50 Cent says. “And the things that she has that you don’t are the things that you have to make a compromise with.” In a healthy relationship, he explains, your differences are really what need talking about. This is how you go about making that conversation happen.
Oh my God, 50 Cent! Such thoughtful, sensitive advice from a guy who once said “we riding round with guns the size of Lil Bow Wow.” He went on to advise Baron:
“I think friendship is the strongest form of relationship,” 50 Cent says. “Don’t ever forget to be friends. And you be conscious. Because there’s a point that your friendship would develop that it has so much value that it would become priceless. And at that point, you should consider marriage.”
This advice at first seems surprising, but 50 Cent’s been dropping relationship knowledge bombs for years. “21 Questions” is all about communication. He’s asking his girlfriend questions about their relationship, like “if I didn’t smell so good, would you still hug me?” He wants to make sure they’re on the same page. “I treat you how you want to be treated, just teach me how,” he says in the last verse. 50 Cent tries to live by the Golden Rule in his romantic relationships, but he’s only human, and he needs to be instructed. He’s willing to learn how to be a better man! That’s to be emulated!
But his real Dear Abby moments come from Twitter:
If your a girl that would ask your man to wait with u till your period go’s away. Your going to lose that man. My advice suck a dick. Lol
— 50cent (@50cent) August 30, 2010
If you a man and your over 25 and you don’t eat pu**y just kill your self damn it. The world will be a better place. Lol
— 50cent (@50cent) September 30
Are these brutal truths, or just brutal? 50 Cent doesn’t care what you think. Hate it or love it, he’s on top. His best advice ever? Don’t take any shit from anyone.
I can’t belive my grand mothers making me take Out the garbage I’m rich fuck this I’m going home I don’t need this shit
— 50cent (@50cent) August 26, 2010
Image via Mikhail Teguh Pribadi.