Sex Advice From Australian Rockers

"We'd probably be better in bed if we had beds."

by Grace Bello

Alexander Gow, Oh Mercy

What makes an Aussie rocker good in bed?
Well, they'd be better if they had beds. I don't know any Australian musician who's got enough money or is in any one place for long enough to own a bed. I sure haven't. We're probably not very good in bed because, if we had a bed, we would be out of our comfort zone. Maybe a flimsy mattress on the ground or something would be more like our environment.

What's the best way to ask out an Australian musician?
Tell him you're a scientist or something and that you don't listen to the radio. The last thing I want to hear is another opinion about music. I mean that; I'm sticking by it! There's nothing more attractive than a woman who doesn't give a shit about your career and is intelligent in some other field.

What are your groupies like?
They're nonexistent. They're all neuroscientists and they have degrees and things like that. Things we don't have.

From your touring experience, which city or cities have the hottest people?
I'd have to say right here in New York.

You're not just buttering us up?
No. Every time I come here, I'm just shocked. You swear you've seen the height of beauty in a woman, and then the next woman just tops it a little bit. Especially because of all the different cultures. So-and-so from somewhere made love with so-and-so from somewhere else, and their kids are the most unbelievable, unique things. We don't really have that as much in Australia.

If Oh Mercy were a sex position, what would it look like? 
It's probably the guy on Skype asking his girlfriend to undress for him.

My boyfriend of one year recently told me that he used to hook up with guys back in college. I didn't think it would bother me, but this is a serious relationship and it turns out his past is an issue for me. How do we make it work?
If it's a problem, then just go out with someone else. I'm not here to judge. If it's a problem for that person and she's tried to ignore it, then she should probably try to make herself happy before trying to fix someone. If you're a young person — if you're any kind of person — I would advise making yourself happy before trying to repair something that isn't working. Because otherwise it's not very good for your sanity or your pride.

My ex-girlfriend and I had a messy breakup almost a year ago. I feel like enough time has passed that maybe we can be friends now. How do I go about initiating a friendship with my ex?
Talk to her. Use normal life skills. If you have a problem with that, then I don't understand how you walk down the street and order a coffee. It's like, talk to her. Ask her to meet you.

This guy that I've been seeing seems really great: smart, funny, and ambitious. The thing is, he always drinks when we go out, and he drinks a lot. What should I do?
I think I'm that guy. That's a tough one. I'm probably not the one to ask; Australians drink a lot in general. But I can understand how that would be a problem. I figure if his drinking is not a problem — like, if he doesn't get abusive or argumentative or just awful to be around — if you like him, then forget about it.

I recently lost my job, and I moved back in with my parents. How do I keep up my admittedly "liberal" love life while living with Mom and Dad?
You'll just have to go back to their house. Or hook up in front of a church or wherever's good.

Where's the weirdest place you've had sex?
In front of a church.