"There are things only tall people know about…"
 photo credit: Long Tall Sally |
Arianne Cohen, 6'3"
author, The Sex Diaries Project
(Amazon; sexdiariesproject.com)
I'm five-eleven, and I'm intimidated by women who are taller than I am. Do I have some weird complex?
No, absolutely not. There's a lot of sociological research showing that there's a very fundamental fight-or-flight wiring that we're all ingrained with that makes us pay attention to people and animals that are bigger than us, so it sort of makes sense.
Why are tall ladies better in bed? Or are they better in bed?
I would assume that they're just as good or bad as everybody else, I've got to say. I mean, if we're talking about me personally, of course I'm amazing. But, broadly speaking, I'm sure you have just as many rock stars as you do underperformers among tall women.
It's a Friday night. You're going out and you want to look hot. Do you wear heels?
If they match the outfit, absolutely. The highest I've ever gone is six-foot-eight. I have a pair of five-inch platforms that I adore. My theory on this is I'm already tall, and everybody can see this, so I might as well look good. If you think about it, the difference between six-foot-three and six-foot-five is not that big. I'm still really tall.
If the guy's just average height, is sex more difficult?
No, not at all. I think in sex with people of any size, there are pros and cons. If you're a tall guy who sleeps with a teeny tiny woman, you can pick her up and throw her around a little bit more. But there's a sense of being enveloped by somebody's body that's really sexy. I think there's also a sense of powerfulness when a larger person is enjoying sexual pleasure or is having an orgasm. These are things only tall people know about.
Maybe she can pick him up and throw him around a little bit?
Exactly.
What's the worst position for a short man and a tall woman?
The kama sutra is not made for tall people in any way, shape, or form. Tall people can't do most of the positions in there.
From personal experience?
Not at all. From a strength perspective, tall people have less muscle mass per square inch. You also have a higher center of gravity.
Maybe that's why I can't do a pull-up.
That's totally why. There's a section in my book talking about pull-ups and push-ups, because I'm bothered by this.
You've written a book about sex and you've written a book on being tall. In your research, did you find out anything surprising about tall women and sex?
Tall women say over and over again that their height is a good litmus test for finding men who are comfortable with themselves both in the bedroom and in life. And that's really true. If some guy comes up to you and he's really calm and cool at a party and he's five inches shorter, you're dealing with a good egg. It's nice to have that litmus test with you wherever you go.
Some studies suggest tall women make more money. Why do you think that is?
There's a lot of research about this. It's gender-neutral, actually. Tall people make $789 more per inch per year than other people, because they're assumed to be leaders, so their work is perceived to be of a better quality than it often is. They're also quickly given promotions in the workplace. So it doesn't actually have that much to do with tall people and has everything to do with the people who are shorter than them.
I'm a small guy who's hopelessly in love with a woman almost a foot taller than I am. She's perfect for me, but the height difference weirds me out. What should I do?
In both of my books, I've seen many happy, loving relationships with couples who look absolutely weird together. One of the most important things you can do is be democratic about who you sleep with. The minute you try to set a height limit, you're shooting yourself in the foot because you're canceling out most of the population. Only 3.9% of the male population is taller than me. If you add in all of the ridiculous qualifications that somebody needs to have in order to make it into my bedroom, you're talking about a really small percentage of the American population.
What are your ridiculous qualifications?
Oh, you know, you have to be wonderful and amazing and well-read, and you have to outsmart me in pillow talk every night, and on and on…
Read Arianne's Hooksexup piece about tall women and sex, here.
Anna Goldfarb, 6'1"
shmittenkitten.com
My best friend is six-foot-one, and our friends call us the twin towers. Do you think that's distasteful?
No! I love tall girls. My best friend Jenna is five-eleven, and it's so much fun hanging out with her and other tall girls. It's much more natural. We maintain eye contact. It's really hard to do that with most girls — they're so short!
Why are tall ladies better in bed?
I think it has to do with confidence. Being tall, I walk everywhere with my back straight. You get used to owning the room. So I think when it comes to the bedroom, you're so used to being the center of attention it's like you're just supposed to be there.
It's a Friday night. You're going out and you want to look hot. Do you wear heels?
I personally don't wear heels, but that's because I have really small toes. I can't really walk in them. My little sister has long toes like a freakin' velociraptor, and she can walk in heels. If I could wear heels, I would.
Besides being able to reach the top shelf, what's the advantage to being tall?
Well, I'm an anomaly, because I like dating short dudes. Like, really short dudes. Like five-foot-six.
What's the rationale behind that?
They come up to my boobs. That's great. I don't understand why every girl wouldn't want guys who are little. I don't understand why that's not the norm. I'm very lucky that I happen to be six-one, because most guys can come up to that height.
Let's talk logistics. Is sex with a short guy more difficult?
No, not for me. It's super-easy.
I'm a tall girl who loves to wear tall heels. My girlfriends all say they feel overshadowed when we go out, and guys sometimes mistake me for a man in drag. Should I lose the platforms?
I think it depends on the occasion. If you're going out dancing and don't give a shit, and you just want to have a good time with your friends, definitely rock them. Knock yourself out. As long as you feels beautiful and comfortable, that's what counts. And I think your friends are insecure. They shouldn't give a shit what you wear. As long as you're happy, they should be happy.
I'm a small guy who's hopelessly in love with a woman almost a foot taller than I am. She's perfect for me, but the height difference weirds me out. What should I do?
I think that's your issue to get over, no pun intended. This stuff happens to me all the time. Guys get very intimidated and second-guess it.
Have you ever had guys who didn't want to date you because you're too tall for them?
It happens pretty frequently. And it's a shame, because I feel like they're the ones who are imposing the limitations. Like, I'm down for any kind of candy bar — I like the trick-or-treat sized, I like the fun-sized Snickers — but it really bums me out, because I'll meet a really great, intelligent guy, we'll click at every level, and I'll see his insecurity get in the way. He's missing out! But I'll go find another dude who's okay with it.
If you could miraculously wake up tomorrow morning and be six inches shorter without being terribly deformed, would you do it?
Never. I can't imagine it.
Jodi Chromey, 6'5"
www.iwilldare.com
I'm five-eleven, and I'm intimidated by women who are taller than I am. Do I have some weird complex?
No, not at all. I'm six-foot-five and I'm intimidated by anybody taller than me. I'm so used to being the tallest person around that when I meet someone taller than me, it's kind of weird.
Why are tall ladies better in bed?
I've never slept with a tall woman.
As a tall lady, why would you think tall ladies are better in bed?
I would say because we try harder. We're so used to sticking out and being noticed that we try to excel at everything we do. Because you don't want to look like a fool. I think men are intimidated by tall women. If you're taller than them, just height-wise, men aren't used to being in that submissive role. And I think men derive a lot of power from their physical largeness, so when they're with a woman who is taller than they are, they don't know what to do. They're so out of their comfort zone.
It's a Friday night you're going out and you want to look hot. Do you wear heels?
No, and here's why. I get asked that lot. I'm big, I'm tall, I have big feet. And they don't make heels that I would wear in my size.
What size shoe do you have?
A twelve in men's. That's like a fourteen for women.
That's pretty big.
Not for six-foot-five — there's a lot of me to support. If I wanted heels, I'd have to buy like six-inch stiletto heels made for drag queens. I wouldn't even know how to walk in those.
So you've never worn heels before?
I wore two-inch heels for one of my sisters' weddings, and I felt like a linebacker in drag.
Is sex with a tall lady more difficult?
No, because we're all the same size lying down in bed. But if you want to do things standing up, that can get a little awkward. I've been with men who are shorter than me, and I have short legs for my height, but my legs are still longer than theirs, and when you're kneeling down, things just don't match up right. If his penis is coming up to the middle of your thigh, things aren't going to work. There's only so much squatting you can do.
If you could miraculously wake up tomorrow morning and be six inches shorter without being terribly deformed, would you do it?
No. I like being tall!
