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Sex Advice From Magic: The Gathering Players

By Chris Mathias

Erin, 26

erinWhat has Magic: The Gathering taught you about dating?
Be open-minded when it comes to the interests of people you're dating. I always considered Magic way beyond the acceptable level of "nerdy" until I started dating a guy who played. Even if you don't get hooked like I did, showing interest in something your partner loves is an excellent way to show your support of his hobbies.

If you're playing Magic with a hot guy, and he has three life left and you have a Lightning Bolt in your hand that could finish him off, do you use it? Or do you hold back and let him win?
Take the shot! Female gamers work too hard to gain respect among the guys to lose on purpose. Beyond that, any guy worth dating will appreciate the skill it took to get to that point. And there's nothing like a rematch to keep the flirtation going, right?

What's the best reason to date someone who plays Magic?
Magic players know how to roll with the punches and flexibility is always important in relationships. Every game of Magic is different, even between the same two people and the same two decks, so players who win are the ones who adapt to unexpected situations.

I love getting road head but don't currently have a car and neither does she. Any advice for getting a blowjob on another form of transportation?
The back of a bus allows for various levels of showing off, or see if you can borrow a friend's car for an afternoon road trip (make sure you offer to fill the gas tank before dropping it off). Just steer clear of the back of your mom's station wagon.

My boyfriend wants to get a tattoo with my name on his arm. I love him, but I think that's a terrible idea. How do I talk him out of it without seeming like I'm arguing against the future of our relationship?
I love ink, but relationship tattoos are such a bad idea, even between the most compatible of couples. Do your best to suggest creating something memorable together that doesn't involve permanently modifying his body. But if he insists on a tattoo, a better way to go would be finding a representation of something you both have in common.

If one movie had to be playing while you were having sex, what movie would that be?
Anything homemade.

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Commentarium (34 Comments)

Apr 16 10 - 1:30am
JOSH

I wanna play with Erin! How do I get in touch with her? :)

May 22 12 - 9:45pm
Ken

I'm in her box right now.

Apr 16 10 - 5:27am
Eric

Magic players roll with the punches? Tell that to my girlfriend. She sat there for a good three solid minutes just coming to terms with the fact her Jace Beleren wasn't going to survive the turn.

Apr 16 10 - 8:59am
:)

"It is tough to smother somebody while spending four hours a day playing cards" I love it

Apr 16 10 - 9:33am
Tim

"These days a home-run is probably only legal in Alabama or Idaho." Love it.

Apr 16 10 - 10:25am
Dan

Jacob's photo is really amazing.

Apr 16 10 - 1:32pm
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Apr 16 10 - 2:02pm
SNM

Can I win a date with Jacob?

Apr 16 10 - 10:13pm
Bryant

Breaking up with someone on Facebook is "classier" than doing it by text message? How is either one considered acceptable by anyone with an ounce of class?! Sweet monkey Jesus.

Apr 17 10 - 11:37pm
RB

Nerds give the best advice.

Apr 18 10 - 7:31pm
BOB

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Apr 19 10 - 9:15am
alex

my girlfriend respects that i have my hobby, but hates when fnm, pre-release comes around. every two weeks i go on a huge gaming binge for fnm. and she gets a bit upset that i will take 1 of my days off (i only get 3 every two weeks. friday, saturday, and sunday every other week) to play magic, and another to recuperate from being up until 2-3 a.m. which leaves her with 1 weekend day together that i have to go to bed early on for work... aside from that, she is ok with it. the problem with pre-release is.... my average spending on a pre-release? $95 (box after tax) 35-50 (fat pack depending on demand), 85 (the cost to play 1/2 a two headed giant, 1 sealed deck, and 1 casual gaming {with an actual sealed deck}, or booster draft). so yeah... i am lucky to have my girl.

oh, and totally bolt her.

Apr 19 10 - 10:44am
Jace the Mindsculptor

the guy that said scoring is more important to guys than winning is foolish. kinda seems like he only wants one thing and thinks he knows how to get it?

for me, the lightning bolt question goes like this:

its not about if they're hot or not. if its a new player that im trying to prove desperately that nerdy stuff can be fun and maybe we can have that in common and play together, i most definitely hold back. i try to get them to figure out how to win on their own, so i dont crush them before they get the chance to think about what they can do.

if, however, the hot chick is running a faeries deck 'because theyre PREETTY!' and Bitterblossom has been kicking my ass all night--HELL YA I LIGHTNING BOLT THEIR FACE!

it depends on whether or not beating them could mean they'll never play again if i came on too strong (elf beatdown, anyone?) or if they already know the game well enough to beat me alot, and id like to beat them once for a change.

Apr 21 10 - 1:47am
UglyShirts

*I* know how to get a hold of Erin. We sort of used to work together.

I'm not telling, though. :)

Apr 22 10 - 12:07am
Name

What do you think?

May 03 10 - 4:24pm
Jacob

Sorry ladies, I'm taken.

Nov 05 10 - 1:35pm
evan

My boyfriend played Jace's Ultimate, said something like, take 35, I gave right the fuck up, and we had crazy sex on the floor as a result.
Awesome.

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If you don't look at her boobs...she looks like a guy with long hair. *insert creepy music as camera zoome in on her eyes and stare*

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