With Winter Storm Juno headed our way, millions of people in the Northeast U.S. are realizing they are about to be shut in for two to three days, overdosing on Netflix, canned soup, and whatever booze is still in the back of the fridge. It all sounds like a lazy, leisurely time until they realize — oh wait, we are about to be trapped inside for two to three days. We’ll be alone. With just our hands and (electricity-willing) some porn.
Enter the “blizzard girlfriend,” the “snow job,” the blizzard bone,” or the “snow cuddle:” the many NSA arrangements advertised on Craigslist during the hours leading up to an imminent storm. Because nothing says “the MTA is down” better than bringing an anonymous drug-and-disease-free hottie to orgasm moments before fixing them a steaming cup of cocoa. Folk wisdom says that birth rates spike 9 months after a blizzard. After perusing through these miraculous posts taken straight from Craigslist Personals, we don’t have to question why.
Cookies for Pics
Working Overtime
Lots of Mouth Stuff
Jack Off Buddy…Why Not?
I Cook, So…
Take a Ride on the Tugboat
Blizzard Phone Sex
Cuddle Bear
Snow Blowing
Snow Bunny Threesome
Foods of Various Sorts
Bed Warmer
Bi Bi Blizzard
We Can Just Order a Pizza
It’s a Fucking Snow Day
Ah. Be safe out there, you horndogs.
