Seven Mensches I’d Like to Schtup

In honor of the High Holidays, the choicest of the chosen people.

By Amanda Green

This Friday, the Jewish High Holidays come to an end. Before it's time to atone, we should celebrate, and where better to start than the mensch? Yiddish for "stand-up guy,” the mensch is admirable for his accomplishments, his charm, and his moral fiber. These mensches also happen to be totally gorgeous. 

Spike Jonze

No one moves as effortlessly between highbrow and lowbrow projects as Spike Jonze. Best known for directing Being John Malkovich and Adaptation (let's ignore the long, quiet nap that was Where the Wild Things Are), this mensch has produced and directed commercials, TV shows, and music videos loved by the masses. And nothing is hotter than a man who can dance.

James Franco

At thirty-two, he's been an actor, director, screenwriter, novelist, painter, and Gucci model. He's enrolled in five (five!) different elite graduate school programs — including Columbia and Yale — which would make any grandmother proud. I’d be tempted to say that it’s his brains and creative energy that make him sexy, but that would be overlooking his ass.

Andy Samberg

Garnering millions of views on YouTube and Hulu, Andy Samberg's Digital Shorts are the best thing about today's Saturday Night Live. His infectious comedy style is silly and accessible, and he makes the most out of the show's access to famous guests, no matter how talented — or not — they are. And so yes, Andy, I'd gladly take your dick in my box. (Sorry.)

Sacha Baron Cohen

The actor/comedian/writer may keep kosher, but his flamboyant characters are anything but. Cohen confronts uncomfortable truths — racism, homophobia, and the stretch-marked horrors of a rural swingers’ party — without breaking character, and makes us laugh in the process. He also happens to be the only man in recent memory to appear totally naked on the cover of a major magazine.

Seth Rogen

He acts, he writes, he crowdsources for charitable purposes through Crowdrise.com. Whether he's schlubby or svelte, Seth Rogen is one of the most unassuming and underrated comedic talents in Hollywood. Also: he’s hot. When the lovely Katherine Heigl got pregnant and fell for him in Knocked Up, I had no trouble buying it.

Jon Stewart

Jon Stewart is smart, ballsy, and funny enough to keep us enraged but not despairing about the state of the world. He had my heart when he teared up on The Daily Show's first episode after 9/11 — and my loins when he said the terrorist attacks were no reason for racism and fear mongering.

Michael Chabon

Writer Michael Chabon is an undeniably hot piece of tuchus, especially if, like me, you get off on extended metaphors and genre experimentation. The Pulitzer Prize-winning author of The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay and The Yiddish Policeman's Union reportedly turned down being one of People's 50 Most Beautiful People. He was too busy raising four kids with his beautiful wife, Ayelet Waldman, with whom he is "famously in love."