| Some of my closest relationships have been formed through video games. Unfortunately, they've all been with other men, but that doesn't mean you can't have an effective video-game date. In fact, in many ways, video games are perfect for getting to know each other. In a movie theater, you commit to watching a screen for two hours (erm, generally). Video games, on the other hand, are distracting enough to take away the pressure and provide stimulus for conversation, but not so consuming that you pay more attention to them than to your date. Still, there are potential pitfalls; pick the wrong game and you may end up in a bog of statistics and arcane button combinations. Good choices go light on the arcana, heavy on immediate fun. Our ten picks should make for an enchanted electronic evening. — Peter Smith |
| 10. The Simpsons (arcade) Arcade machines today are less about twitchy gameplay than frenetic physical experiences like dancing or playing drums. But sometimes the old school is exactly what a date needs. The Simpsons is a classic in the "beat 'em up" genre. What makes it perfect mid-date is its sense of humor, its early ease growing into a serious challenge, and the familiar satisfaction you and your date can share by making pop-culture icons knock the crap out of each other. The age and rarity of the machine means that a couple will only cross paths with it in certain locations: a ratty boardwalk off-season, a hole-in-the-wall pub with no name. — John Constantine |
| 9. ChuChu Rocket! Competition can be an excellent spice to add to the heady soup of a burgeoning relationship. While taking your date on the bumper cars at Coney Island might be an ideal contest for a first outing (playful, physically exhilarating), ChuChu Rocket! is definitely third-date material, best broken out after you've cooked your new thang a homemade meal. It's like a cerebral version of Hungry Hungry Hippos, each player funneling mice into their little rocket while also aiming cats at their opponents'. Freudian as it might sound in the context of a date, the mood it induces is pleasantly jovial, and the slight backstabbings involved in a round will lead to the nudging of elbows, name-calling, and, ultimately, ferocious making out. — JC |
| 8. Crazy Taxi Its dated mall-punk soundtrack (the year 2000 misses you, Blink-182, but we don't) will probably induce more nostalgia than is healthy for early dates, but guiding a gravity-defying cab around virtual San Francisco makes for good fun between new lovers. The manic Taxi is ideally played in some dim bar or bowling alley, where a couple can squeeze inside the sit-down cabinet and put their hands on the wheel simultaneously, fingers entwined. The imposed time limits (get your fare to his destination, or it's game over) infuse the proceedings with a delectable urgency. — JC |
| 7. Super Mario 64 Super Mario 64 features one of the most satisfying reward systems in gaming history. Accomplishing various tasks (racing a turtle to the top of a mountain, returning a baby penguin to its mother) produces a star; 120 stars can be found. The variety is appealing, and winning gold stars is as pleasing as it was in grade school. Even my parents got hooked — my mother slipped me a note that said "Help me get more stars than your father!" Remember, nothing is sexier than a display of skill. Getting a lot of stars will prove you a desirable mate. — PS |
| 6. Dance Dance Revolution Movies and television insist that dancing was once a common first date. But most people simply don't know how. Telling your date that you're going dancing will automatically score you individuality points — and make your date insanely self-conscious. Until they see the Dance Dance Revolution machine. DDR turns the player's absence of rhythm into something fun and anecdotal, something a couple can look back upon and laugh. The arcade machine is great, but the home version is nothing to be scoffed at. DDR at home means one thing: naked dancing. — JC |
| 5. Mario Kart Double Dash Taking full advantage of Mario Kart Double Dash requires four players, and is thus ready-made for that most perilous of endeavors: the double date. To win a race in any incarnation of Mario Kart, you must be not only the fastest but the most vicious, throwing wacky obstacles and weapons at your opponents. Double Dash is special, though. It allows two players to control a single go-cart (one for steering and speed and the other to use items), and the roles can be switched at any time. On a double date, this mechanic creates excellent chemistry. Couples bond through co-operation and the giddy thrill of a win. Or, if you aren't on the same side as your date, you get the turn-on of combative competition. — JC |
| 4. Wii Sports Nintendo may have jeopardized its sedentary fanbase with the new Wii, which requires physical control on a supra-thumb level. But it has also (semi-intentionally) made the video-game date more valuable than ever. Even a hapless soul who's wasted his or her entire life reading books or learning actual skills can pick up a Wii remote and join the rest of us. Playing tennis in Wii Sports is as easy as swinging the remote; you and your date will get all the competitive rush of actual tennis, but the couch will be right there for you to collapse on. — PS |
| 3. Singstar Karaoke is already a perfect date. The coupling of brash disregard for your appearance with a two-drink-gone imitation of Robert Palmer is enough to make anyone on earth seem sexy as hell. So why is Singstar, essentially karaoke with rules imposed, inherently superior? Two words: naked karaoke. Who cares about the questionable song selection (Ashlee Simpson's "Invisible") when you and your date can belt out your best Bono in your birthday suits. Singing badly in public is sexy. Singing badly in the buff, just for your date, is sexier. — JC |
| 2. Samba de Amigo Psychedelic monkeys and ass-shaking are like video-game Spanish Fly. While Guitar Hero and Dance Dance Revolution popularized the rhythm-based game for everyone from the high-school set to retirement-home singles, neither can touch the sheer weirdness of Samba de Amigo. You have to shake maracas in time with a monkey. The monkey looks like he's been eating mushrooms. The wild primary colored visuals and salsa music are downright hallucinatory and lend themselves to off-color remarks and incredulous laughter. Amigo is what you and your date do after you've gone back to your place for another drink and before you've finally made your way to the bedroom at dawn, already mostly undressed. — JC |
| 1. Lucky & Wild Lucky & Wild is the most perfect date game ever made. Two players: you, and the object of your affection. One of you will assume the character of sharp-dressed driver Lucky; the other, rakish gunman Wild. Who adopts which role will almost certainly have broader implications for your future relationship. Who's cool, collected, and in control? Who's rowdy and impulsive? Who's Bogie and who's Bacall? Who drives, and who, uh, has a lot of guns? Feel free to analyze further as you and your (sex) partner barrel through five stages of crime-fighting fun. Bad guys may attempt to throw dynamite into your car, but adept Wilds will quickly blast the offending explosives out of the air — if the Luckys by their side don't manage to swerve out of the way first. In between stages, you will return to the Pink Cats Garage for a tune-up performed by bikini-clad female car mechanics. You and your date will subconsciously absorb the suggestion of sexual healing. With hundreds of goons coming after you, and presumably a limited supply of quarters, death is almost inevitable. But afterwards, you will feel strangely elated, and may wish to have a drink. — PS |