October 13, 2008
Can you imagine that a modern democracy might sink so low as to nominate for its highest office a man who jokes about apes raping women? Who publicly mocks the teenage daughter of a rival about her appearance? Who calls his spouse a "cunt"?
Welcome to John McCain's America, circa 2008.
If there's one character issue that's gone entirely uncovered by our otherwise scandal-starved media, it's the long and distressing record of misogyny displayed by the candidate who earned the nickname McNasty in high school.
To get a full sense of how McCain has behaved toward women during his life, we'll need to travel back to his college years, when McCain (by his own admission) did a lot of carousing. As Tim Dickinson notes in his recent Rolling Stone profile of McCain, he hit on two young women the summer after his sophomore year — and showed his true colors when rejected: "He cursed them so vilely that he was hauled into court on a profanity charge."
Fifteen years later, in 1973, McCain made his heroic return from Vietnam, where he was a prisoner for five years. There is no disputing the courage and nobility he exhibited as a POW. Those years have become virtually the centerpiece of his campaign. His subsequent treatment of his first wife is hardly ever mentioned.
A little refresher course. During the time her husband was a prisoner, Carol McCain suffered a near-fatal car accident. In addition to caring for three children, the former model underwent numerous reconstructive surgeries. When her husband returned from Vietnam in 1973, she was overweight, on crutches and four inches shorter than when he left. What happened next?
McCain started having affairs — lots of them. Nobody knows how many, and neither McCain nor his ex will go into details. Her sole comment on the break up: "John was turning forty and wanting to be twenty-five again." And, apparently, Mormon.
I'm exaggerating for effect, right? Not really.
In 1979, McCain met Cindy Hensley. He was forty-two at the time. Hensley, a beer heiress, was twenty-four. (Fun fact: upon meeting, the happy couple both lied about their ages! Totally adorable.) In his autobiography, McCain insisted that he divorced Carol months before marrying Cindy. Not true. He married Cindy five weeks after the divorce. He even applied for a marriage license before his divorce had been finalized. Oh, he also "cohabitated" with Carol for the first nine months of his relationship with Cindy.
McCain's pals in the press virtually never mention the fact that he's an adulterer. If you want to see McCain's own response, check out this interview with CNN's John King. Is it me, or does McCain look like a guy with an awful lot to hide?
The most succinct summary of the divorce came from Ross Perot, of all people. "He threw her over for a poster girl with big money from Arizona and the rest is history," observed Perot, a POW advocate who helped pay Carol McCain's medical bills during the war.
Lots of men cheat on their wives and leave their families for younger women, of course. It's not a crime. But McCain's treatment of his new wife has hardly been inspiring. Cliff Schecter, author of the book The Real McCain: Why Conservatives Don't Trust Him and Why Independents Shouldn't, offered this unsettling tidbit from the 1992 campaign trail. Cindy McCain had the temerity to make a comment about McCain's thinning hair. Rejoined hubby: "At least I don't plaster on the makeup like a trollop, you cunt." Pretty rough language for the gal who pays your mortgages.
But then, McCain's profane streak is no secret to those who work with him. Nor is his tendency to indulge in jokes that might otherwise qualify as hate crimes. Here's one he allegedly told in 1986, to a group in our nation's capitol:
Did you hear the one about the woman who is attacked on the street by a gorilla, beaten senseless, raped repeatedly and left to die? When she finally regains consciousness and tries to speak, her doctor leans over to hear her sigh contently and to feebly ask, "Where is that marvelous ape?"
More infamous was the quip he made a dozen years later, during the Lewinsky scandal. "Why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly?" he asked a group of Republicans. "Because her father is Janet Reno."
The McCain team has not denied that he made any of these comments. While noting that the candidate has done and said things in the past that "he regrets," spokesman Brian Rodgers observed that the American people "want somebody who's authentic and this kind of stuff is a good example of McCain being McCain."
Is it just me, or should we (as a nation) be kind of F-R-E-A-K-E-D O-U-T? An ape raping a woman? Severe injuries? And the woman likes it? What kind of sick fuck dreams up that fantasy? What kind of sick fuck finds that funny? And the Chelsea Clinton thing — I don't even know what to say. Can you imagine if any other public official on earth indulged in this kind of hate speech?
No? Well, let's try a little thought experiment. Let's say Barack Obama was at a fundraiser and he said, "Some of you probably know my opponent, John McCain, has an adopted teenage daughter, little Bridget. From what I've been told, she gives pretty good head! Hey, those cleft palates always do!" Or if Joe Biden got up on the stump and said, "Just saw Cindy McCain on CNN. Man, she looks so bored on stage. My old friend John should hire a donkey to fuck her awake."
It would be naïve, of course, to suppose that the political arena isn't rife with this sort of misogyny. It remains one of the last preserves of male dominion. What's distressing is the notion that a politician who broadcasts his hatred for women so openly would be granted a free pass by our vaunted free press.
The McCain defense is that his misogyny is a thing of the past. But earlier this year, when one of his supporters asked him in reference to Hillary Clinton, "How do we beat the bitch?" he said nothing to suggest that calling his fellow Senator a bitch was inappropriate. And just a few weeks ago, he responded to a question he considered prosecutorial from the Las Vegas Sun with this old chestnut: "And I stopped beating my wife just a couple of weeks ago." Ha-ha-ha.
But the most sexist stunt McCain has pulled in his entire career is to choose Sarah Palin as his running mate. Again, a little thought experiment. Would McCain have chosen Palin if she weren't a former beauty queen? If she looked like, say, Janet Reno?
Nobody will say so out loud, but McCain — who insisted his central criterion for a running mate was experience and preparedness — chose a political novice whose grasp of domestic and world affairs belongs on a bumper sticker. Anyone who watched her interview with Katie Couric can tell you that Couric would have been a more responsible choice.
Her selection wasn't just a crude political calculation; it was a manifestation of McCain's contempt for women. He knows Palin isn't prepared to answer the sorts of questions a male candidate would be required to answer, so he's treated her like an exotic bird. Our job is to leer at her plumage and applaud her ability to parrot talking points. And anyone who insists that Palin be treated like an actual vice-presidential candidate? They're being sexists! Welcome to GOP Feminism 101: shut up, look pretty and get me elected.
The most astonishingly shameless ploy in an election season thick with them was McCain's attempt to brand Barack Obama as sexist for referring to McCain's health plan as a "pig in lipstick." See, Palin had made a joke involving lipstick, too. Ergo, Obama was calling Palin a pig. This sort of manufactured outrage is always good for a few days worth of distraction from the real issues, thanks to desperate pundits.
But the pundits missed the deeper significance of the accusation. It was generated by the McCain campaign because it was a direct reflection of the McCain mindset. To him, women are pliant creatures, beasts to be wooed, mocked and exploited for gain.
So next time you female voters catch a glimpse of McNasty gawking at his running mate's ass, please remember: it's not just her he wants to fuck. It's you.
©2008 Steve Almond and hooksexup.com