Featuring sharks, dinosaurs, and the most dangerous game of all: muppets.
There’s no denying that islands are creepy. You’re stranded on a small chunk of land, potentially hundreds of miles from civilization — and unless you’re lucky enough to land on Cave Girl Island, you’ve got to worry about the other inhabitants. In Martin Scorsese’s new movie, Shutter Island, Leonardo DiCaprio plays Teddy Daniels, a U.S. marshal looking for an escaped mental patient on a mysterious island. Eerie premise — but will it be enough to crack Hooksexup’s list of the ten creepiest movie islands? (Don’t look for Monster Island — it’s more of a peninsula.)
10. Lord of the Flies Island
Not knowing the location of this island (it’s never mentioned in the book or movie) is creepy enough, but when you factor in its ability to make adorable British children turn on each other, this is one place we’d rather not crash land — even with its abundance of conch shells.
9. Terminal Island
After the death penalty is abolished, first-degree murderers are sent here to do whatever they’d like…except leave! It’s like Escape from New York, but not. Scarier than the threat of death, though, is Tom Selleck’s head and giant mustache perpetually floating above the island.
8. Amity Island
Only three letters away from Calamity Island. That Jaws was one clever shark.
7. Staten Island
Any island that’s been home to both How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days and He Knows You’re Alone creeps us out. Plus, there’s this.
6. Zombi 2
Also known as Zombie, Island of the Living Dead, Zombie 2: The Dead Are Among Us, and Zombie Flesh-Eaters… well, you get the point. It’s a movie about zombies on a remote island and there’s a scene involving a zombie fighting a tiger shark underwater. We’d make a joke here, but we’re too terrified.
5. The Island of Lost Souls
While The Island of Dr. Moreau might feature a bloated Marlon Brando and a post-Batman Val Kilmer, 1933’s The Island of Lost Souls is actually a good interpretation of H.G. Wells’ classic novel. Starring Charles Laughton as Doc Moreau and Bela Lugosi as the Sayer of the Law, the film was banned in the U.K., Sweden, and Denmark upon its release.
4. Isla Nublar
To quote Dr. Ian Malcolm: “The lack of humility before nature that’s being displayed here staggers me.” Over the course of three movies (and hopefully a fourth), we see the beautiful, peaceful areas of Jurassic Park, but also the island’s less attractive neighborhoods, which feature both velociraptors that can communicate and Newman. The good does not outweigh the bad.
3. Muppet Treasure Island
Islands provide writers with plenty of opportunities to strand humans in a small space with various creatures. These include Muppets. If the idea of Tim Curry as Long John Silver doesn’t creep you out enough, how about Miss Piggy’s character, Benjamina Gunn? Benjamina doesn’t exist in the novel, but a character named Ben Gunn does, and he’s an insane ex-pirate who’s been marooned on Treasure Island for years. I guess Robert Louis Stevenson wasn’t a fan of frog-pig relationships.
2. Skull Island
Jurassic Park might seem like a scarier place, but think about it: Isla Nublar only has dinosaurs, while Skull Island has dinosaurs, giant spiders, and, of course, King Kong. Fay Wray may have made it out alive (although she didn’t have to deal with Son of Kong), but don’t tell that to the hundreds of natives and crewmen of the S.S. Venture who perished at the hands (and feet) of Kong. Plus, the island has a giant rock shaped like a skull. Who the fuck would ever want to go there?
1. Ship-Trap Island
So far, we’ve covered dinosaurs, spiders, giant apes, Kate Hudson movies, sharks, and muppets. What could be creepier than any of those creatures? How about an island where people are the ones who get hunted — by other people! Specifically by Count Zaroff, whose mere name conjures up horror! We’d rather hang out with the Swiss Family Robinson, thank you very much.