Do you remember the first time you learned about doing it? There’s a good chance you were sitting cross-legged in front of your television set, mouth agape.
A recently released survey done by AVG Technologies has revealed that by the age of 10 years old, most children today will have already had their first “birds and the bees” talk with their parents. This is significantly earlier than previous generations. Part of that quick jump to those squirmy conversations is because of how readily available “sex talks” are literally everywhere else — TV, books, movies, music, and of course, porn. You can’t turn on Netflix without also, invariably, learning about blow job techniques or Kegel exercises from your favorite sitcom characters.
Yesterday, Bitch Media proposed an apt question: what has pop culture taught us about sex that we never learned in the classroom? Starting a #PopSexEd hashtag, they sourced the internet for sex lessons that only scripted television and novels could have given them. Personally, Sex and the City introduced me to the funkier shades of semen, and Ben Folds bestowed upon me the complicated truths of dealing with an abortion. And from the looks of other posts on #PopSexEd, it would appear there are a few common themes: Samantha Jones, Meg Ryan, and Judy Blume seem to be the foremost professors of our collective sexual education. Body image issues, agency, the proper order of the “bases,” and sexual tension remained at the front of fictional conversation. These cultural gurus’ teachings might have been a bit less accurate than what we learn from the not-so-comprehensive, fraught American sex education system, but, in reality, that doesn’t make them any less influential. Culture soaks into everything we do, even how we get laid.
Here are some of our favorite #PopSexEd lessons from Twitter.
What role did pop culture play in your sex education? What specific shows, songs, books, or movies had an impact on you? #popsexed
— BitchMedia (@BitchMedia) June 18, 2014
Still wondering why teen sex is depicted as going from ‘closed mouth kissing’ to ‘adios virginity’ in books, TV and movies #popsexed — emily loring (@emilyloringg) June 18, 2014
First (and only for a long time) reference to abortion that I remember was Dirty Dancing–we all know how that ended for Penny. #popsexed
— Allison Quantz (@AllisonQuantz) June 18, 2014
Learned what an orgasm was from When Harry Met Sally, so I knew most women faked them before I knew how women could achieve them #popsexed — Eliana Dockterman (@edockterman) June 18, 2014
Reality Bites came to mind today when thinking about the #popsexed convo today. Here’s a recap https://t.co/mioe32wcrh @junkeedotcom
— Laura Flynn (@msmightyflynn) June 18, 2014
#Media taught me boys would only want to have sex with the nice normal girl after she got a sexy make over #popsexed — Feng Hua (@doubtrage) June 18, 2014
My #popsexed was formed by @judyblume AreYouThereGod… it showed me my period wasn’t 2b feared or gross as boys made me feel @BitchMedia
— Not that kind of Dr. (@jurZeegurrrl) June 18, 2014
watching SexInTheCity under the blankets was the 1st time I saw what sex “suppose to look like” via Samantha! 10 yrs old #popsexed — Think Critically (@activethinkerr) June 18, 2014
TV taught me that I should have years of unresolved sexual tension with someone before finally speaking up. #popsexed #irony
— Madeline Ashby (@MadelineAshby) June 18, 2014
@BitchMedia @MargaretAtwood‘s The Handmaid’s Tale was the first story to make me think about agency and #reprorights #popsexed — Kate (@katethulhu) June 18, 2014
Ugh, Judy BLUME. #popsexed
— Social Contagion (@dumbsainted) June 18, 2014
Elaine on Seinfeld and her unabashed talk about sex, masturbation, and contraception #popsexed #UgoGirl @BitchMedia — Sarah Wahab (@SarahWahabb) June 18, 2014
Roseanne was the first time I remember a lot of topics being broached on TV – racism, class, abortion, sex, domestic violence. #popsexed
— Teddy Wilson (@txindyjourno) June 18, 2014
[h/t TIME]