In honor of the Super Bowl, we celebrate the moments in 2010 that made us sweat
Can you believe Super Bowl XLV is almost here? That’s right — XLV, already! Where did all that time go? If you’re like us, most of it went toward studying steamy PowerPoint presentations, googling “Ines Sainz,” and avoiding pictures of Brett Favre’s penis. Here’s a full run-down of the sexy sports stories that have gripped us since Super Bowl XLIV.
1. The World Cup.
Summer warmth? Yep. Sanctioned day-drinking? Affirmative. Hot young men? Duh. Sexy fans who show their support by showing everything? Good Lord, yes. The World Cup was so fun that even when we tied teams, we felt like winners! Forget about the vuvuzelas and losing to that terrifying country; instead, reminisce about playing hooky and that cute German(?) girl at the bar who made out with you because you happened to be wearing the right colors that day.
The Year in Sports Sexiness
2. Rex Ryan’s amazing wife.
Look, we all have our things. It could be cosplay, or perhaps submission. Maybe missionary is your thing — I don’t know. Not all of us, however, have committed partners who not only tolerate but indulge our things with a series of homemade videos. Jets coach Rex Ryan has one; her name is Michelle, and she’s his wife. We should all be so lucky.
The Year in Sports Sexiness
3. The Duke Fuck List.
It’s hard to say what Karen Owen was thinking when she decided to etch into PowerPoint detailed accounts of her sexual indiscretions. But one thing is for certain: the product was sensational. Her pornographic “thesis” contained all the details about her encounters with a cadre of Duke jocks; athletes were named, penises were sized, scores were given. You can say what you will about the debacle — except that you didn’t read it, because nobody likes a liar.
The Year in Sports Sexiness
4. Lady fans rejecting espnW.
Red Sox fans have long been aware of the Pink Hat movement — girly caps for girls, as if regular ones wouldn't do — and rightfully annoyed by it. Similarly, the newly launched espnW.com and women.nfl.com were called out as little more than pinkhat.coms by Katie Baker, a sportswriter who, like many ladies, has no interest in wearing bedazzled Field Flirt Jerseys.
The Year in Sports Sexiness
5. Ines Sainz.
For New York teams, home is both a blessing and a burden. A built-in national stage is great, but it comes with a hypercritical local media. Like, for example, when Ines Sainz sauntered sexily into the Jets’ locker room and created a maelstrom of debate. Which, for the most part, nobody remembers because, holy shit, did you see those pictures of her?
The Year in Sports Sexiness
6. A.J. Daulerio’s swagger.
Nevermind that A.J. Daulerio — the unsparing, (mostly) unapologetic editor of Deadspin — seems out of place in a magazine once called Gentleman’s Quarterly. GQ painted an irresistible portrait of a swashbuckling hustler-slash-journalist who finds trouble by getting into it. There aren’t a lot of sportswriters willing to hand-deliver $12,000 in cash for a scoop, and even fewer whose scoops involve a star quarterback’s dick pics.
The Year in Sports Sexiness
7. Our love affair with LeBron James.
“Free agent” is just sports for “bachelor.” And for what seemed like forever, LeBron James was the most eligible bachelor in the United States and Toronto. LeBron dined in New York? Knicks fans wondered if he’d stay for breakfast. LeBron spotted shopping in Chicago? Bulls fans told their moms they’d met someone special. LeBron finally checked out that Big Love show? Jazz fans fainted from joy. And when he finally made jilted lovers of us all, it was okay, because it’s better to have loved LeBron and lost than never to have loved LeBron at all.
The Year in Sports Sexiness
8. Steve Buckley inviting the entire planet to his coming-out party .
“I’m gay,” veteran sportswriter Steve Buckley announced in his column in the Boston Herald. Even in the world of sports, it gets better.
The Year in Sports Sexiness
9. The Metrodome collapsing under snow.
There were some undeniably sexual elements in this viral video. The pressure, the point of no return, the intense release, the collapse, the messy aftermath. Somebody get the Metrodome a cigarette!
The Year in Sports Sexiness
10. Venus Williams’ ass.
The Australian Open usually passes without much notice in America, primarily because it happens in January, when our tennis rackets are busy being snowshoes. (Fun fact: it’s happening right now!) But Venus Williams sure made us pay attention last year with her controversial skin-colored underwear, giving all of us an excuse to examine her body with careful, perverted precision.
