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I know, I know. Vacation with the family can be super boring. And with places like Hedonism Two full of extremely gross people, where are good sex-loving folks to go to enjoy come clean old fashioned sexy fun? Never fear, Erotikaland is here!! Can’t wait to book your ticket to an literal orgy of fun? Not so fast. The Express UK reports there’s no sex in Erotikaland 🙁

“There might be a handful of sex museums around the world but Brazil has gone one better: they’re opening a sex theme park.There’s some concern that the park, named Erotikaland, will attract debauched individuals. However, if you want to get off, you’ll have to get out. Despite having access to an aphrodisiac shop, sex is strictly prohibited within the park itself and instead visitors hoping to get frisky will have to book themselves into a nearby motel which will be operated by the hotel.”

So what can we expect from the park?

“It’ll cost $100 to gain access to the park which is of course adults only.Attractions and ‘rides’ include bumper cars shaped like genitalia and a 7D vibrating cinema where the chair and environment convey the atmosphere of the film. There’s no cinema schedule yet but they’re probably not showing the latest Julia Roberts rom-com. There will be a nudist pool and a snack bar that only serves aphrodisiac recipes but still absolutely no funny business.”

But of course if Erotikaland isn’t your thing, you can always Hedo Rick for vacation suggestions. He will not disappoint.

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