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Dateline: Jagermeister and the Relative Merits of Sleigh Bells

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Male, 28, Copywriter
with
Female, 26, Marketing Associate

8:55 p.m. - Arrive at bar. Date has not joined in my own paranoia, and will not arrive until fifteen minutes after the agreed-upon time.

9:30 - Date arrives. I am three drinks in. I decide to slow down and order a beer instead of another cocktail.

9:37 - Date snorts while laughing at my joke. +1.

9:59 - Date suggests shots. Jagermeister. -1.

10:07 - Sleigh Bells come on on the bar's stereo. Date attempts to convince me of the merits of Sleigh Bells. I remain unconvinced.

10:15 - Date suggests new venue and food. I decide that either this is going well or she's just hungry.

10:27 - Date decides on nearby taco truck. This isn't a good sign for my idea that things are is going well — typically ordering and consuming food in the street is not an invitation to further conversation.

10:31 - While waiting for tacos, date begins loudly making fun of people's clothing as they walk past us. I am equally smitten and frightened — some of these people are larger than I am.

10:35 - Tacos arrive. Conversation stops.

10:40 - Date decides on one more bar. I decide this is going well.

10:45 - Date decided on this bar because her friends were there already. This is not going as well as I thought.

10:50 - Date's friends are nice. I buy a round. "Awwwws" ensue.

11:00 - One of my date's friends hates Sleigh Bells and says they make music for "cheerleaders who wish they were cool enough to have done coke in the bathroom during high school." I am in love for the second time tonight.

11:45 - I am now very drunk, and my date and her friends are leaving. Before I collapse into a cab, she kisses me on the cheek in what is either a sweetly chaste gesture of approval or a condescending Participation ribbon. 

12:17 a.m. - Date texts and asks for dinner sometime. I am the champion. Freddie Mercury is me. 

12:18 - Date's follow-up text calls me a lightweight. I am chastened, but encouraged. I promise not to drink so much so early next time and text her a smiley face.

12:18:01 - I immediately regret texting a smiley face, but elect to pass out instead of taking futher action.

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Commentarium (18 Comments)

Mar 27 12 - 12:12am
Sam

He sent that bitch a smiley face.

Bitches love smiley faces.

Mar 27 12 - 10:45am
aa

Someone being late for (especially a first) date without a very good excuse is such a red flag. It means they hold no value for you or your time.

Mar 28 12 - 11:25am
mp

or it means they were running late.

my now-wife arrived late to our first (internet) date.

Mar 28 12 - 3:45pm
Ryan

I've been late to a first date too because where I was driving was completely alien to me. I paid for her coffee in exchange and it worked out alright.

Mar 28 12 - 6:26pm
DBN

I was late for a first date once. She still gives me a hard time about after eighteen years of marriage, albeit with a smile.

Mar 27 12 - 3:25pm
bb

Yeah, but he was already three drinks down by then. Sounds like they deserve each other.

Mar 27 12 - 6:51pm
Thinkywritey

The ages surprise me. But the ages always surprise me.

Mar 27 12 - 8:42pm
dj

Why? I have a hard time putting an age on anything "dating" related now a days, especially if it has to do with first-time dates (its been a while since my I dated anyone other then my current girlfriend...)

Mar 27 12 - 8:58pm
music critic

+10 for several notes about sleigh bells sucking

Mar 27 12 - 11:52pm
H

A (presumably) grown-ass 28 year old man passing out after less than 3 hours drinking? And on a date no less? Pathetic.

Mar 28 12 - 1:11pm
agesrr among

A (presumably) grown-ass man leaving disparaging comments about other people's drinking habits at 11:52 pm? And on Hooksexup, no less? Pathetic.

Mar 28 12 - 7:33pm
JCB

A (consumably) grown-ass commenter leaving disparaging comments about other people's disparaging comments at 1:11:11PM? And with an alliterative name, no less? Prophetic.

Mar 30 12 - 11:00am
Alex Heigl

At March 28, 2012, at 7:33 pm, the Hooksexup comment boards achieved self-awareness.

Apr 10 12 - 6:09am
K

tee hee, if only it were true

Jun 24 12 - 1:33am
@Alex Heigl

HAHAHAHA

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