Dateline: "I decide I am going to be a good girl and not hook up with anyone this weekend…"
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Female, 26, wellness coach
with
Male, 30, architectural sales rep
8:45 p.m. – Last minute before heading out, I decide on my outfit: black flowy top, jeans, black flat booties. Some understated costume jewelry. Cute, but casual. Perfect for the hipster bar we're going to.
9:25 – I finish stuffing my face with Wendy's as I walk with my male roommate and male friend to meet his friend's friends at the bar, who are visiting from out of town. Only chick out with a bunch of dudes. Great.
9:27 – My friend's friend's friends introduce themselves to me and one strikes up conversation with me as I wait for my friend to get our PBR's. I'm polite, but not flirtatious. He's cute with his baseball cap cocked slightly, but not in a douchey way. A little husky; athletic. Seems genuine. Despite this, I decide I am going to be a good girl and not hook up with anyone this weekend. He's just visiting from Jersey anyway.
10:00 – The dance floor is dead, so we get up to get things going, but mostly stand in a circle and observe the hipster chick trying to set up one of the guys in our group with her cute, redheaded friend. He's in a relationship, though, and also a nice guy, so he doesn't take the bait.
10:10 – The Jersey guy goes to get us another beer. I tell my friend he is "chatty;" my friend responds that he is a really good guy and he's never seen him talk to women at the bar. I ponder this information.
10:14 – The Jersey guy returns, just as everyone else decides we should move on. I stick the open can in my inner coat pocket and smuggle it past a police officer into the next bar. Win.
10:40 – Jersey tells me about the new house he just bought, the power outages, and the tree he has to help his step-dad clean up. We talk about work and things we do for fun. He smiles a lot. The small-talk isn't forced and I'm warming up to him.
11:15 – We're moving again. The next bar involves shots.
11:45 – Two guys want to go to a new bar, I convince the others to go to a different one with a monthly dance party of world music. The group splits up and I end up with my roommate, friend, and Jersey boy.
11:58 – Jersey buys me a hard cider and we start dancing. Conversation has pretty much stopped at this point and he gets an intense look in his eyes.
12:01 a.m. – He's a really good dancer.
12:30 – The other two in our foursome decide to go home; Jersey and I agree we'll take a cab. Then I notice two guys from another circle of friends, each of whom I've also hooked up with in recent months. A feeling of embarrassment washes over me and I acknowledge them, but don't go over until later when we leave to say goodbye. I've been kind of slutty since my breakup this summer, and remind myself I'm not going to sleep with anyone else before we go on a date.
1:47 – By this point we've pretty much forgotten about everyone else on the dance floor. He's started to give me soft kisses as he spins and dips me, my drink sloshing and head swimming.
2:12 – We giggle and canoodle in the back of the cab. I've forgotten about the promise I made myself.
10:30 – Jersey wakes me up with more soft kisses and we have a second (amazing) round. We snuggle more while he tells me about his family.
11:30 – We dress and walk to the store. Jersey helps me make breakfast for the house and we stuff ourselves with french toast, bacon, and cinnamon rolls before we all lie around for a couple of hours.
1:17 p.m. – Jersey and I exchange numbers and plan to see each other again before he leaves town in a few days. I tell him he's welcome to visit any time. Sometimes the promises you make to yourself are meant to be broken.
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