Talking to Strangers: New York, NY
Hooksexup asks deeply personal questions to people we just met.
By Rachel Friedman
What do you do?
I work in a catering hall in Long Island. I run weddings, bar mitzvahs, sweet sixteens. And I work for a start-up internet company.
Does either job get you many dates?
Yes, I constantly meet wedding guests because I fall into interactions every night with between 200 to 300 people.
Are you single?
I am technically single.
I am in love with someone overseas, but I am technically single.
What do you look for in a guy?
It depends. One day I could be looking for a boyfriend. The next day I could just be looking for sex. If I want a boyfriend, looks don't really matter. I'm all about personality.
What kind of personality?
Just cool, laid-back. I don't like guys who are very, "Oh, I'm gay, so I have to act a certain way." I like guys who act a certain way because that's how they are, and that's it. They don't fall into a stereotype.
And what about when you're looking for sex?
I'm just looking for hot guys. Hottest guy in the room. That's it.
What's the craziest place you ever had sex?
My old job. In the bridal suite. Out on Long Island. We worked together and that was the only place with a door that locked besides the walk-in refrigerator. And there were couches. I had keys to all the rooms.
Has anyone ever done anything during sex to offend you?
No. Nope. Nope. I mean the most offense is when I'm hooking up with a guy and he doesn't come. That's when I'm offended. It's like: what's wrong with you? Is it me? You're not turned on enough?
Do you believe in love at first sight?
No. Love at first sight is bullshit. That's called "I want to have sex with this person. I'm in love with them right now."
What do you like about the guy who is overseas?
Well, he's really hot. He has a great body. But he's also just so chilled out. I never met any guy like that before. We just connected. The first time I met him, we just talked about music the whole night. And from then I was like, "I'm in love with you." We like the same exact music. It's a done deal.
When are you going to see him again?
Christmas. I'm going to Ireland again. Again.
Do you feel like no one else stands a chance because you're so into him?
I had this conversation last night. It's very weird. I guess I'm holding back from everyone. I'm not allowing myself to meet anyone. I'm just keeping it to sex, because I have this flight booked. It's bad, because when I get drunk I'm like, "This is fucking stupid! I'm holding my life back for a flight to Dublin."
Are there any reasons you wouldn't date someone?
I don't like extreme rough sex. I like it dirty. I like it wild. But I don't want to be choked to death.
What's the craziest thing you've ever done to get laid?
That's a tough one. Flown to Ireland? Oh, I got a blowjob in that corner over there, thinking that no one could see me because I was so drunk.
What time was that?
Like three-ish. The bar was still going. It was pretty jumping. And I was like: no one can see us. Let's just go in this corner. Yeah... everyone could see us. And I got in a lot of trouble.
What do you do for a living?
I'm in the fashion industry. I was at BCBG Max Azria and Urban Outfitters. I actually had a baby seven months ago, so I started my own company doing independent sales. I work only by appointment. I love the flexibility.
How did you meet your husband?
I met my husband out one night in Hoboken. I was working at Donna Karen and he was an eighth-grade teacher. He's always had a passion for web so he's in web development now. But at the time, he actually was launching a magazine. My husband is very shy, but the magazine kind of helped him with that. He asked if I wanted to take a picture with my friends for the magazine; it was an online thing. He was very tall, dark, and handsome. He was really nice. So then the night went on and I think he ended up coming up to me. I ended up getting really sick because I didn't eat the night before. It was one of those really bad nights. And he ended up taking care of me. We went to a diner and he was trying to help feed me. I actually threw up all over the table.
How long have you been together?
Eight years at this point.
Do you have any crazy ex-boyfriends?
I actually dated a guy for a really long time — six years. He's a big music producer now. He was getting more and more into the music scene. He's very well-connected. But he had built a studio in the basement and I never saw him. He was crazy aggressive, personality-wise, and I am, too, so we were fighting all the time. So I made plans to move all my shit out of the house. Well, I guess he had found out through someone else that I was planning to do that. So I got to the house and he had locked everything up. I couldn't even get in. He had locked the glass doors from the inside.
So how did you get inside?
I had to call the police. It was awful. He showed up, and I was like, "My address is on my driver's license. I live here. They will break into this house and I will get my shit out."
Did you get all your stuff that day?
No, we were together for a really long time so it took a lot of conversations. But I gradually moved my stuff out. I was like, "Hmm, it might work out again." Then... it didn't.
What do you do for a living?
I'm working as a porter now and I'm going to school in the fall.
What's your relationship status?
I am dating.
Where do you meet girls?
Usually in the street. In the park. At a bar.
And what do you do to impress them?
I introduce myself. That's about it. And then just get the conversation going. It usually works for me.
What do you look for in a girl?
I look for someone who is genuine, honest... attractive, of course, though that's not the most important thing.
And what about dating dealbreakers?
If she's very stuck-up, full of herself, high-maintenance.
Are you usually friends with your exes?
If I've had a good relationship with the person, then I would not mind.
Any wild places you've had sex?
Just a few weeks ago, me and my brother and a friend of ours were going to a bar at 82nd and 3rd Avenue. And I saw this woman walking my way, and I decided to approach her and stop her. And I introduced myself. We started talking. She asked me if I would go with her to a bar to pick up her credit card. So I did. And we hung out for about an hour and a half, two hours. Just smoking a cigarette, talking about life. You know, getting to know one another. And so by the end of the day, right here — you know where the 7/11 is at 84th? I had sex with her in front of the building at five in the morning.
Did anyone see?
A few people.
Any embarrassing hookup stories?
This happened here in the park. A friend of mine and I had a double date with these girls we just met on 86th Street. And so I was with the girl I was supposed to hang out with and he was with the other girl. And the girl I was with, her ex-boyfriend was a cop, and he was looking for her. And so she had to go and deal with that. But right before she left, she told me, "Oh, go have fun with my friend. She is very sexual." And I said, "No, no, no. I'm not interested." But I went over to my friend and the girl and I said, "So how about a threesome?" Just to break the ice; kidding around. And she was laughing. She was very cool. And she wasn't very attractive, to be honest. But right there in front of Gracie Mansion, or whatever it's called, I got a blowjob from her.
Even though you didn't find her attractive?
No, not at all. Just because I was a bit horny. And she wasn't very good at it to be honest. And after a few minutes I just asked her if she would stop. And then I left her and my friend alone. I know, I know! I'm not that kind of guy. And then my friend told me afterwards that she felt a little bit sorry for how bad she was.
Regretful that she wasn't good at the blowjob or that she did it?
No, not that she did it, but that she wasn't very good at it.
Do you believe in love at first sight?
I do. I've had it happen to me.
How many times?
Just once. I'm Turkish and I was away in my country last summer. We have a summer house there.
And did you end up dating her?
For about two weeks. When I met her, she had two weeks left there and then she was going back to Istanbul. But it was more than just looks with this girl. I really, really, loved who she was. Very family-oriented, genuine, honest. This is a girl I would marry. I would marry in a heartbeat. And I believe in that kind of stuff, you know? I mean, I like to have fun and stuff like that. But if I meet somebody I really, really, like, and I would want to be with, I would drop everything just to be with that person.