Love & Sex

Talking to Strangers: The No Pants Subway Ride

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"So, you feel comfortable wearing a thong outside of the house?"

The No Pants Subway Ride 2014, put on by Improv Everywhere, celebrates the silly act of stepping aboard a subway completely pantsless. Each January, thousands of exhibitionists in over 60 cities strip down to their skivvies for the ultimate in public transportation pranks. Standing on the F train in your underwear tells the world you're pretty much open to anything, which is why Hooksexup decided to ask highly personal questions to pantsless strangers we just met.

Eugene, 34

Is this your first time participating in the No Pants Subway Ride?

It’s my first time doing it in New York. I did it last year in L.A.

How did the L.A. experience compare to New York?
New York kind of blows it out of the water. I feel like people are more doing it here for the spirit of not having pants on rather than for showing off. It’s mostly the same demographic of people in New York and L.A; all the people that you want to meet at a party.

What is your occupation?
I play poker for a living. I’ve done it for about 10 years now. I lived in Vegas for a year after college. I had no job lined up even though I had my degree in psychology and political science.

Are you hoping to meet anyone today at this event?
Oh no, it’s not what I was thinking about but I guess it would be a decent baseline, both people willing to take their pants off in public for freedom and the American way.

What would be a good pick up line to use today?

“I like your hair.” I think this whole event is about doing stuff you would do normally just with the absence of pants so the same rules apply for picking up random girls, you should just say something complimentary, nice and be polite.

Are women impressed with the fact that you play online poker?
No, I don’t actually like talking about my job much. To me, it’s boring. I mean, I understand it’s interesting to other people and I don’t mind talking about it. I’d like to flatter myself and think that there are more interesting things about me than what I do.

What made you decide to wear the top half of a nice suit and tie with boxers?
If you’re gonna have no pants you want two things: you want to be really warm everywhere else and a stark difference between what’s up top and what’s on the bottom.

Given the cold weather, how long will you physically last without no pants on?
That hour has passed already, it’s pretty darn cold. As long as we’re having fun, I could go for awhile

Are you going to be drinking later?

Yes. In L.A. there was a really small after party. I think this one’s gonna be pretty busy.

Did anything salacious happen at the after party?
Not as much as I’ve seen in the last 10 minutes of this interview. Pantsless Batman has just met pantsless Bane and they’re having a fight.

Tell me about your worst hookup.
There was this girl that I met at a party and hit it off. We went back to her place and I’m pretty sure she didn’t know how to have sex.  It was as if she didn’t know which parts went where. She did a lot of grinding on my bellybutton, and it was doing a lot for her but for me, I was just trying to keep a straight face.

Did you try to correct her?
I did try to subtly correct her with kind of pulling her towards a different region, but that wasn’t working. She was really intent on bellybutton stuff. It just kept happening. I would try and switch positions and she would still be grinding around my bellybutton. It went on for what felt like days, probably over an hour and then I said I was tired, we went to sleep.

Nikki, 23

Have you done the No Pants Subway Ride before?
This is actually my fifth year doing it.

Has anything about it changed over the years?
The only thing that has really changed about it is, people take it way too far. They sometimes just wear only underwear and that’s not how it’s supposed to be.

What’s the most outrageous thing you’ve seen in the 5 years you’ve been doing this?
There was a guy in a Speedo and a cape and that was it. He didn’t even have socks on and was just running around the entire park just yelling.

Have you been to the after party?

Definitely, that’s the best part about it. People get drunk. You can only get in if you have no pants. It’s packed and people are always really sweaty.  That part’s not really nice. After people get a few drinks in them, they really start going crazy with the dancing. People are hooking up all the time. Guys sometimes get raging boners because there’s girls twerking, shaking their ass and all up on their junk. The next thing you see when the girl moves away is like, a hammer. I don’t think the girls notice because it’s dark in the bar. I’m not sure if the guys are even aware that they have it but it’s all there, they don’t even try to hide it. It’s like they’re proud that they have a boner.

Have you heard any good pick up lines?
Not really, because I stay with my friends so if anybody tries to come up to me, I just slowly back away.

So you’re not interested in meeting anyone today?

No, I’m just looking to have a good time.

What’s the most obnoxious way a guy could hit on a girl here?
They just come up based on what the girl’s ass looks like and how much cheek is out. In the past years, it’s definitely happened to me.

What would be a good pick up line for a girl to use on a guy here?
It’s the wrong way to meet a guy. He’s seen too much, he knows what’s there. There’s nothing to surprise him with.

Tell me about your worst date.
It really bad when you’re out on a date, having a few beers and within 20 minutes you can tell it’s not gonna go anywhere. You’re hinting that you’re going to go and the guy’s really trying to push onto it. He’s hoping he can change how things are going like, “Oh I can make this date better,” and you’re like, “No you screwed up, I want to leave. Have a good day.”

Justin, 18

Are you in school?
Yes, I go to SUNY Albany, haven’t picked a major yet.

Why are you participating in the No Pants Subway Ride?
For fun. I found it enjoyable hanging out with a bunch of people, making other people feel weird.

Have you just been wearing boxers for the whole day?

No, it’s been on and off. I felt like losing the shirt, kind of like, why not? I saw some other people do it so I though, might as well. 

Is this a good place to hook up with people?
Yeah, if you find the right people you never know. 

What’s a good pick up line to use here on ladies?
“Do you like a teddy bear?”

Is that referring to your body hair?

Yes. Actually girls have been coming up to me asking for pictures being like, “Wow how are you doing that?”

Are you cold?

I’m a little chilly but it’s still fun so I’m fighting through it.

Do your parents know that you’re here?

Yeah. My dad thought it was stupid. My mom was like, “That’s fine. Whatever.”

Tell me about your worst hook up.

I was at a party once and she didn’t know how to kiss. She kind of just ate my face apart. I don’t know how to explain it. It was kind of like a piranha eating me. I tried my best to get away from her, but she kept following me. It was awful.

How would you like a girl to approach you here?

I like a good compliment, a funny joke, maybe she could ask me for a picture.

Do you believe in love at first sight?
No. I have to walk past twice for it to happen

What’s the craziest thing you’ve seen at the No Subway Pants Ride?
A few guys dancing weirdly. I’ve seen some very revealing clothing.

Would you do this again?

Yeah, I’m looking forward to doing it next year.

Is there a line to cross in terms of appropriate versus inappropriate underwear?
It kind of depends on the person. If their body is disturbing, maybe wear a little more but some people could wear less and some could wear more.

Cheyenne, 21

Why did you participate today?
I saw the Facebook event. I wanted to explore the city, meet new people and I felt like this would be a fun event.

Are you from New York?

Yes, born and raised in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn.

Are you here with anyone today?

Yes, I’m here with my boyfriend today.

What made you decide to wear a thong today?

Before we leave the house, my boyfriend and I always pick out our outfits together. We picked out which underwear we were going to wear and we just decided either we go all out or we don’t go. So he picked out my thong. At first I was a little hesitant but then I took a second to think, “Whatever, I’m just going to wear it.”

Are you in school?

Yes, I’m a student. I go to NYU for environmental science and I’m planning on joining the Peace Corp.

Tell me about your worst hook up.
Probably the first time I ever hooked up with a guy, it was so bad. I ended up with my best friend cutting school and we made out and he had really bad breath. It was gross. At the end of the day, I actually offered him some gum and I’m not sure if he got the hint.

Do you believe in love at first sight?

I don’t. I believe in a genuine relationship and being friends at first then building from that.

What’s the most outrageous thing you’ve seen today?

Many men just together chanting. Also, the conga line that was just stretched out for blocks.

Do you feel comfortable wearing a thong in public?

Yeah, I feel very comfortable. At first I was worried men would be in my face and that I would be uncomfortable but as soon as I got here, I realized that it’s nothing to be afraid of and everyone is just embracing their bodies. Everyone is just full of spirit. I feel comfortable because everyone has positive energy.

What’s the dumbest thing a guy has said to you today?

Honestly I haven’t even heard any pick up lines because I’ve been with my boyfriend the whole time, which is kind of a bummer.

Anthony, 23

What made you decide to participate in this No Pants event?
It’s an enjoyable experience. It allows you to be free with yourself. Everybody wants to be comfortable. Last year a man without a shirt and pants came out just jiggling. He didn’t really care. It’s just freedom of expression.

What’s the weirdest thing you’ve seen at the No Pants Subway Ride?
Every year is different because this year I had old ladies point at my crotch. The year before that was the fat Go Go dancer with no shirt on. Then the year before that was me because I was wearing a wig under my boxers and it looked like I had massive pubes coming down to my knee caps. 

Is this a good place to meet potential lovers?
Well, most people here come in cliques so we all know each other. I’m part of the nerd community; Nerd Nation and NYC for nerds. So we come here and spread the word and we have over 180 people come every year.

What’s a good pick up line to impress someone at the No Pants Subway Ride?
I think just wearing no pants in general just works. Be like, “Ey what’s up, like my confidence?”

Have you ever hooked up with anyone at the No Pants party before?
Yes, at the after party in the bathroom. Every year they have an after party and people get drunk. We do weird things at the party.

Do you think people are more sexually open because they’re not wearing pants?
No, I just think it’s usual. The human body, everybody loves it. You know? It’s freedom, and the only people that do this are comfortable with their bodies.

Do you believe in love at first sight?
No, I believe that each person has to get to know somebody beforehand because you can believe that you’re in love with a person physically, but if they can’t stimulate you mentally, it’s not worth it.

For the single people out there, do you think this event is a good way to meet people?
Yeah, of course. You can actually go up to any person here and they’ll talk to you. They don’t even have to know you, that’s how everything works around here.

What’s the strangest under garment you’ve seen someone wearing here?
It had to be my first year when I wore a diaper with a chocolate stain in the back and I was asking people to change me.  All the girls loved it.

What would you say the age range is of people doing this?
Well the oldest was 88 and the youngest in my group was 6 years old. Another guy last year was 98.

Does anyone ever go too far with what they’re wearing?
Yes, some people, they do like random humping at these events. Especially if you’re on the train. Like old dirty men they look at the women and they start licking their lips and staring at them and the women feel very uncomfortable. So one of my friends was like, “What, you wanna take a picture?” And the guy actually takes out a camera and takes a picture.

Would you tell a girlfriend that you do this every year?
I was with my girlfriend for about a year before we broke up and she knew all of this. I went to the pillow fight, light saber fight, the water fight, everything.

Berry, 29.

You’re the second 29-year-old I’ve talked to today.
I’ll be 30 next week.

Does you turning 30 have anything to do with participating in the No Pants Subway Ride?
Yes, I did say I wanted to do this before I turned 30. It was so much fun, I think I want to do it next year too.

Did you come with friends?

Nope, I came by myself. All my girl friends stood me up, but I still did it.

Why do you think they chickened out?
I don’t know, these are pretty bold girls so that’s why I chose them, but we’ll find out later on tonight I guess.

Has anyone tried to hit on you today?

I was kind of surprised, I was kind of expecting it, but nobody has. They’re pretty cool and they compliment me, “Nice body” and that was it. I’m sorry I just got distracted by a flasher.

Oh my god, I see him.
It’s huge.

Do you think that was his real penis?
I don’t know. It’s pretty dark and he’s pretty light, so I don’t know.

Would you be interested in meeting someone here today, romantically?
No, because I’m not interested in meeting anybody period right now.

Tell me about your worst date.
One guy told me all about his past history and how he got shot 10 times and that people were looking for him and I was like, “Ok I don’t need to be seen with this guy. He just got out of jail and people are still looking for him.”

So essentially, you were on a date with a fugitive?
He wasn’t quite a fugitive, he did his time. He was just on the run from the gangsters in the neighborhood that wanted to have him dead.

How did he break the news to you about his past?
It was kind of spontaneous. He kept looking behind him like he was looking for someone and I asked, “Is everything ok?” He said, “Yeah, you know I got shot 10 times, people are still after me. I have to watch my back.”

How did you end the date?
“Goodbye.” I ended it every smoothly, I didn’t let him know that what he said bothered me. 

What is your occupation? 
I’m a personal trainer.

What is a great pick up line to use on a personal trainer?
“Hey, I would love to buy 10 sessions.” Awesome pick up line right there.

As a personal trainer, are you looking to date someone who leads a similar healthy lifestyle?
When I first started, I would say no. Now, yes they would have to be fit and into healthy lifestyle because it is a lifestyle. It’s not just going to the gym for me.

Do personal trainers have great sex?
Yes, because of endurance muscles. We’re more flexible, we can get into all the tricky positions, and you get to explore a little bit more.

What’s the trickiest position?

Feet behind the neck.

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