Tools of Attraction: Bikes
5 New Yorkers on the inherent sexiness of two-wheeled transport.
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Krissy, 27, nanny
You're wearing some pretty high heels to ride a bike.
Most of the time I wear sneakers, but when I come to see my boyfriend, he requests that I not wear flat shoes. He's making a face but it's totally true, so whenever I come to eat lunch with him I put on heels.
Do you abide by many requests?
I do, and we're recently engaged, so now I go by even more of them. I pay closer attention.
Congratulations! Any other secret requests you want to share? Sexy ones?
No. [laughing]
Come on, it's just the internet.
Well, the rules that I personally abide by that are sexy, other than the heels: I attempt to wear fewer T-shirts and more bras and underwear, although it's completely against my natural inclination to not wear undergarments. But I do for the significant other. They're very uncomfortable, but men like them.
Well, you're wearing jeans shorts, so sometimes it's more comfortable to wear undergarments, right?
Yeah, and especially when you're riding a bike.
Are bikes a big turn-on?
I know some fix-gear-bike nerds who have blogs about hot girls who ride bikes, and most people comment flirtatiously, like "do a trick," which is ridiculous, because I don't know how to do a trick. Nor would I do so on command.
You're not a performing monkey.
I am not.
Do you have a name for your bike?
It's Gob 2, because my first bike, Gob, was stolen. It's after Gob from Arrested Development.
What do bike riders do after a night out partying with friends? I'm confused about the logistics.
I would advise against drinking and riding, because it's very dangerous, and you hear a lot of horror stories. A good friend of mine who was drinking was going from Manhattan to Brooklyn and fell into a pothole, and broke her arm and destroyed her face. But I would also advise against wearing helmets.
Seriously? But it's safer.
You'll get made fun of. You will. Someone will say something ridiculous that you won't like.
Bike: 1983 20-inch BMX, bought on eBay
Sunglasses: Ray-Ban, shorts: Levi's, shoes: Jeffrey Campbell, bag: Costume Vintage
Commentarium (35 Comments)
Krissy, he asks you to wear things you find very uncomfortable and demands that you bike in heels (which is not very safe) -- may I kindly suggest you reconsider the engagement?
Not true at all. It is actually pretty easy and safe to bike in heels. I do it all the time, here in Amsterdam. I am sure she is an experienced bike rider so it's not a problem.
I do find it strange that her fiancé asks her to wear heels.
Also, those heels look kind of cheap.
Ha they do look cheap - that was my thought.
whatevs. Maybe she's into submission.
Ignore all these past comments and ride safely, remove the seat,The shaft it better than a seat belt and more fun
Bikes are totally a turn on.
Unless it is a fixed gear.
Fixed gear bikes are the worst assuming you live outside of The Netherlands. I bike to work every day in Toronto (a terrible biking city, natch) and when I was able to afford to buy a better bike, the difference was night and day. Hipsters can keep their shitty fixies.
so, Krissy wears things she finds uncomfortable to make her boyfriend happy, and doesn't wear a helmet because she'll get made fun of. I'm sure she's a delightful person, but it sounds like she needs to get both some new friends and some confidence in her own opinion.
As someone who has only had a bike and never a car in my entire adult life, I appreciate Gabriel's helmet ethos and Kelsi's super-friendly commute. Bicycles are one of the top ten most fun things in the world (the other 9 involve eating and fucking), it's not a scary way to travel, and it doesn't have to be a statement so much as a practical way to get from A to B.
But I also ride a bike with gears and use a helmet, so... yeah.
i second claire. isn't she a little old to care about people making fun of her for wearing a helmet?
Fixies aren't underground enough. I prefer to ride a penny-farthing.
Guillermo has the smallest looking feet in comparison to the rest of his body. Looks a bit weird.
Gross, you're totally right!
It's all I can see now! Fuck!
get over it, people...
It's not ridiculous for people to suggest that you do tricks when you're riding a BMX bike. Duh.
Her bike is obviously just a fashion accessory. Also, the reason that she doesn't wear a helmet makes sense considering there doesn't seem to be anything in her skull that could be damaged.
I live in Portland. I will punch the next person who uses their/my bike as a dating ice-breaker.
Also, fixies are stupid and mostly dangerous. I like brakes, thanks.
"Fixies" aren't inherently dangerous, they can be a lot of fun and great for winter riding, but if you ride one without at least a front brake, and you're not currently racing or training in a velodrome, you're just a fashion victim (thank you Bike Snob NYC).
Um, Krissy's fiance has a foot fetish. She didn't spell it out but he gets off on feet and heels and she obliges. It's not about the bike, for flippin' sake!
Post-Interview Disclaimer: Sarcasm does not come across in text :)
The absurdity of both the questions and the answers is more comedic than intellectual/social commentary.
Heels are fun, bike riding is fun, answering questions as ridiculously as possible...also fun.
If only they invented a device that interpreted tone in text! There would be a lot less confusion in the dating world, let alone getting criticism for wearing heels (love the red) --- Four women in four cities take on 365 dates between them. Visit www.3six5dates.com to find out more!
Yeah, Guillermo's feet look odd.
Also, "It was a Dutch bike, from the Netherlands." As opposed to a Dutch bike from...?
He probably meant that the bike was shipped/bought right from the Netherlands. Those can be expensive bikes.
All of Guillermo looks a little odd. Except for his bike.
and c'mon, guillermo is not so odd. I think he is looking fresh and friendly.
So, did you just accidentally interview the local Ray Ban convention?
ba-ZING!
You guys are so mean. All these people seem quite delightful, esp the fashion chick. I used to bike everywhere until I moved to a small, car-oriented city that has really shitty, dangerous biking conditions. I rarely cycle now, although I walk everywhere. I love walking but get nostalgic for cycling. These people sound nice.
Also re: Krisi's shoes, cycling in heels is NOT hard, I used to do it all the time. And although it may be hard to believe if you're of a certain harpy-ish disposition, it can be sexy to wear stuff your man likes to see you in. It's not the same as a domineering dude telling you you talk too much or need to lose 10 lbs or whatever. Her bf finds it a turn-on for her to wear heels! He likes to see his lady walk up to him in heels. What's so wrong about that? If it REALLY bothered her, she wouldn't have changed to flats, dummies!
And now for something completely different: It's sexy to be with someone who doesn't demand to see you wear (or do) dumb shit to get hot for you.
p.s. wearing heels can cause arthritis (study profiled in the BBC news, about a week ago).
barf all over you
nice baguette
krissy, you are H O T ! your boyfriend is such a lucky dog.
i ride in heels all the time. it's actually very easy to do. but i would NEVER advise someone to NOT wear a helmet. that's an incredibly stupid thing to say. i've definitely been made fun of more for wearing heels than for my helmet. in fact, i've never been made fun of for wearing a helmet. i don't think any moron would do that.
Bas en latex, N'importe c'est en noir, rouge ou bleu, chacun d'eux vous rendra le sentiment confort et parfait.
https://www.latex-mode.com/v%C3%AAtement-en-latex-bas-en-latex-c-1_18.html
Now you say something