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Justifiable Homicide

I met Ilsa through a mutual friend, and we hit it off right away. I’ll spare you the mushy stuff, but there was plenty of it, those first couple days. And I, three weeks into my first year of college, made the fatal mistake of confusing lust with love. I still don’t know what I did that turned her off. I probably never will. What I do know — what I’ll never forget — is the night she left me. We ran into each other on Wednesday, and she happily agreed to meet me Friday at the school coffee-house at 7:00.

Come Friday, I was the happiest guy in the world. Pulled out my nicest shirt (even ironed it, for crissakes!), and sauntered out. Not even the looming storm clouds could dampen my mood, though in retrospect, I was being set up for a betrayal worthy of a film noir.

Not even the looming storm could dampen my mood, though, in retrospect, I was being set up for a betrayal worthy of a film-noir.

I got there at 6:40 — I was excited, so what? — and I waited. I read every bulletin and found a chair facing the door, so I’d see her the minute she walked in. When she hadn’t shown by 7:30, or even called, I started to worry. I called her, I texted; no dice. Fearing the worst, I called her roommate, and was told that my darling was… sleeping.

She slept through our date? A lie, I knew it. I walked outside into the pouring rain, wearing my nicest shirt, and I still couldn’t believe it. I walked back to my room, all the way across campus, with a comical look on my face and my guts kicked out onto the floor.

I decided I wasn’t going to let Ilsa get me down. So I changed my shirt, put on a coat, and went to a party I’d heard about.

I walked in the door, out of the rain… and there was Ilsa, sitting in a chair facing the door, like she was waiting for me. But from the way she was straddling the guy in the chair, I could tell that I was far from her mind.

So I got drunk, drunker than I had ever gotten before. At one point, I actually punched through a window with my fist — just like in the movies — before staggering home to bed. The last thing I remember thinking was: what’s the definition of justifiable homicide?

Which in a way, was fitting, since when I woke up the next morning — with the sensation that my head had been split open like a ripe melon — there was blood on my hands (I’m pretty sure it was my own). I’d made it to my bed, but not out of my clothes, which were caked with mud. And still, my one treacherous thought was of Ilsa, and when I could see her again. I was pretty sure we could work it out. — Adam Singer

Submit to our next “Five Stories” contest! Unlikely First Meetings: Did you ever vomit on a girl at a party, only to end up dating her for six months? Drunkenly sleep with a guy who you told people was “just a rebound,” only to end up marrying him? We want to hear about it! , or send your story to .

Commentarium (55 Comments)

Mar 12 11 - 1:44am
MS

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Mar 12 11 - 3:43am
epiphany

Second that.

Mar 12 11 - 6:38am
HanaLeigh

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Mar 12 11 - 12:35pm
Mmhmm

Another one who likes this series!

Mar 12 11 - 1:58pm
zxc

More of this please!

Mar 12 11 - 2:14pm
KT

Love this feature.

Lindsey ( 4th story) is kind of a bitch. If I were a guy, I would stay away from her. Really just unnecessary and immature to pour red wine on the girl's coat.

Mar 12 11 - 3:54pm
LM

I enjoyed reading this, but remember when Hooksexup actually had really good essays from real writers? and good fiction? This stuff definitely has a place too, but man, I do miss the days when Hooksexup was actually more than college kids submitting their stories of having sex for the first time two years ago and looking for validation from others about how lonely they are on "dating confessions."

Mar 12 11 - 7:59pm
samuel

Hooksexup runs lots of essays. also, shit's changed since 2001. i miss it too, but c'mon. don't just randomly begrudge change.

Mar 12 11 - 11:39pm
Mmhmm

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Mar 13 11 - 3:23am
Lindsay

@KT
I completely agree, what I did was mature and unnecessary. But, I was hammered, and hurt and not thinking.
And, heartbreak inspires creativity. At least I got a good story out of it. :)

Mar 15 11 - 9:57pm
JfnB

At least you were classy enough to not pour it on the outside of her white coat! Silver lining :)

Mar 13 11 - 3:24am
Lindsay

**immature

Mar 14 11 - 9:11pm
ml

@Lindsay
What happened between you and that guy after all that??

Mar 14 11 - 9:50pm
Lindsay

Both of us still doing our own stuff...
aka things between us are not good. I wish they were.

Mar 15 11 - 6:05am
lezley

I'm not entirely sure why I'd read these here instead of going to the bar with my friends and hearing the same stories, but, oh well.

also, I am glad none of these are by fat people. I still think fat people should stay in their houses and not be having sex that the rest of us find out about.

Mar 17 11 - 12:37pm
Big Fat Fatty

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Mar 18 11 - 5:02pm
ashtray

yeah fuck lezley! @Big fatty

I LOVED Lindsay's story. I mean the goal was to relay bad behavior, right? Heh heh, yeah total bitch thing to do, but break-ups are the subject of many a news headline and tortured love song for a reason , right? Plus kudos for not 'fessing up. I totally would have ratted myself out on that one, in a moment of weakness, after a kiss.

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