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Three ’80s Reboots from the Makers of MTV’s Teen Wolf

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Exclusive leaked script pages from upcoming remakes of Soul Man and Teen Witch.

MTV's Twilight-influenced remake of Teen Wolf premieres tonight, but it's not the only '80s teen classic that's making a comeback in updated form. Luckily for you, we at Hooksexup got our hands on three exciting screenplays from projects currently in production, and we're sharing selections from each to whet your appetite. Get ready — your childhood memories are about to get a whole lot moodier.

Soul Man

The controversial '80s comedy Soul Man concerns a teenager who wears brownface to get a scholarship to Harvard Law. It'll soon return to the big screen in this updated version, a painful drama of a young couple struggling with their love. Shia LaBeouf and Zoe Kravitz have signed on for the lead roles of Mark and Sarah.


EXT. COLLEGE QUAD – DAY

MARK, shirtless but covered in makeup, stands in an empty Harvard Yard. He stares with pain in his eyes towards the main campus. SARAH stands near him, but he is turned away from her. MARK looks over his shoulder as SARAH approaches.

MARK
You shouldn't have come here, Sarah. I told
you – we can never be together.

SARAH
Mark, just talk to me. Just tell me what's going
on. You owe me that.

MARK
There are things you don't know about me, 
Sarah. Things you can never know! You'd just 
end up getting hurt.

LIGHTNING booms overheard as the sky darkens. SARAH, almost crying now, comes toward MARK, trying to embrace him, but he shifts away from her grasp.

MARK
I'm sorry, Sarah. But this is it. You won't see me
again after today. At least… not like this.

SARAH
Mark, you're scaring me. What is so terrible that
you think you can't tell me? I love you, Mark!
And that's stronger than any secret.

It begins to rain. MARK, resigned, lifts his arms to the increasingly heavy drops. The makeup begins to slowly run off his exposed upper torso, revealing the pale white skin underneath.

MARK
This is who I am, Sarah. But you know the 
man I am inside. You have to understand… I 
never meant to hurt you. I only did this to be a 
part of something real – I've searched for that 
my entire life! And I found that… with you.

MARK draws closer to her.

MARK (CONT'D)
Also, I didn't want to pay for law school.

SARAH stares for a moment, confused. Then her face softens slightly, a smile appearing at the corners of her mouth.

SARAH [laughs]
What the fuck? Super, super racist, dude. Oh 
my God… That's just… wow.

SARAH turns and walks away, shaking her head. MARK stands in the rain, dumbstruck.

SARAH [muttering]
You have got to be fucking kidding me…


Adventures In Babysitting

Disney is hard at work bringing back this Elisabeth Shue-helmed classic about a babysitter who accidentally takes her charge — and some tag-alongs — on a wild nighttime adventure in Chicago. Vampire Diaries star Nina Dobrev is in talks to play overlooked babysitter Chris, while the short list for Brad — the one boy who really sees her beauty — includes Chord Overstreet, Liam Hemsworth, and Joe Jonas.


INT. WAREHOUSE

CHRIS, BRAD, SARAH, and DARYL all slowly enter the door of the warehouse. What first sounded like factory noise now reveals itself to be a pounding hip-hop beat. That's when they see the wide circle of people staring at them, with two men in the middle frozen in insane poses. Their jaws open as they realize they've walked right into a dance battle. One man, SPINZ, steps forward.

SPINZ
Hey! You four – who the hell are you?

Startled but knowing she must handle the situation, CHRIS approaches.

CHRIS
We didn't mean to interrupt. We were lost, and…
We were just going.

The circle closes around them, blocking the entrance. SARAH hides behind BRAD, hugging him tightly. SPINZ walks toward CHRIS, a smile in his eyes but his demeanor still stoney and serious.

SPINZ
Nobody leaves this place without breakin'. Any
of you b-boys?

DARYL sees his chance, and works up the courage to move to the center of the circle with CHRIS and SPINZ.

DARYL
I'll do it.

CHRIS
Daryl, no. You're not a b-boy, you're a fifteen-
year-old boy from the suburbs who TiVos 
America's Best Dance Crew.

DARYL
Chris, I can do this! After my brother's accident…
I have to do it. You know breakin' was his dream.

CHRIS
Fine. But if you do this, Daryl… You leave it all
on the floor.

CHRIS walks back to BRAD and SARAH at the edge of the circle. The crowd watches intently, as SPINZ comes face to face with DARYL. He looks him up and down, then steps back.

SPINZ
Then show us what you got, man.

DARYL closes his eyes, as the MUSIC increases in volume. He breathes deep – all eyes are on him. Suddenly, DARYL breaks into a flurry of moves, popping and even locking. [NOTE – LOOK UP MORE TERMS.] As he continues to break, he starts to melt the icy stares of the crowd. One by one, they start to cheer and clap. When she finally see SPINZ break into a huge smile, CHRIS smiles with relief. DARYL finishes his routine to massive applause, and walks back to the group, getting high-fives and fist-bumps the whole way.

DARYL
Good enough for ya, Chris?

CHRIS
Your brother would be proud. Now let's go –
Brenda's still lost at a random Taco Bell. She
has got to stop getting so stoned.

END SCENE.


Teen Witch

The summer of 2012 will bring Universal's hottest new project, a dark and romantic update of 1989's Teen Witch (originally a comedy about an nerdy girl who uses magic to make herself and her best friend more popular). Miley Cyrus is attached to star. And what update would be complete without a retelling of the infamous "Top That" rap battle?


EXT. SUBURBAN STREET – DUSK

LOUISE walks down the street with POLLY. As they round the corner, they spot RHET and his two friends leaning against his black Civic Hybrid. One strums out a quiet song on his acoustic guitar, while RHET reads from a midnight black book in his hands. The third stoically stares into the middle distance, a single tear threatening to jump to its death from his super black eyelashes. POLLY sighs.

POLLY
Oh no, Louise, let's get out of here. Rhet would
never be interested in a girl like me. I can see 
the deep oceans of emotion in his eyes.

LOUISE
We're fifty yards away.

POLLY
My emotions are mere puddles… maybe a salt 
marsh.

LOUISE
Polly, just go over there and show him your 
real self. You have at least one book of morbid
poetry, don't you?

POLLY, eyes downcast, bites her lip and brushes her hair behind her ear. LOUISE touches her amulet. With a great WHOOSH of wind and flash of light, POLLY is transformed: her back now artfully slouched, her lip biting now more alluring, her bust now magically enhanced. POLLY approaches RHET, a fire in her eyes, and gets ready to seize the day.

POLLY
Um. Hey, um… hi, Rhet.

RHET
Oh. Hey. What's… uh, what's up?

POLLY
Um. I just want you to know… within my soul 
is a limpid pool of darkness. [softly] Top that.

RHET runs his hand through his hair, suddenly brooding.

RHET
My heart is like an obsidian blade, stabbing my
my soul with the depth of my longing. [sighing]
Top that.

POLLY
I have skulls on over sixty-percent of my clothing.
Top that.

RHET
I painted my ceiling black. Top that.

POLLY
I once stumbled upon a dead body in a
marsh and kept one of its fingers.

POLLY walks away, giving one last, lip-biting look at RHET.

POLLY
Top that.

Rhet and his friends sit, dumbfounded. LOUISE allows herself a slight smile as POLLY walks back to her while humming a funeral dirge.

RHET
Uh. Um.

END SCENE.


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