Hooksexup Dating poll: Do "mama's boys" do better in relationships?
By Sean MorrowApril 10th, 2012, 6:30 pmComments (3)
Kate Lombardi's new book The Mama's Boy Myth claims that men who have close, strong relationships with their mothers do better in relationships. So we asked some Hooksexup Daters about the validity of the claim. Mama's boys: send 'em over, or keep 'em for yourself?
Most of you, around 60%, agreed that mama's boys are better in relationships, but warned that you have to watch out for the potential overbearing mom. You don't want the mother-son relationship to be too strong, or you'll have to compete for his time. Guys, take note: girls like it when you and Mom are buds. (Make sure to spend a lot of time talking about how much you love your mom the next time you're on a date. It's foolproof.) A female voter said, "I know a guy who takes care of his mom will take care of me."
A smaller but significant bloc of voters, almost 40%, warned against guys who love their moms too much — they can be too needy, or unable to standup for themselves. One said "you gotta cut that umbilical cord sometime: those things aren't supposed to cross state lines." Another voter pointed out that many of his or her friends "have hot moms!," an observation while not relevant, is certainly thought-provoking.
Check out Hooksexup Dating for the mama's boy or preemptive orphan of your dreams.
Commentarium (3 Comments)
Noooo! They are really, really not. I just broke up with my boyfriend of five years, who was an absolute mama's boy. She had spoiled him so much he didn't even know how to do laundry, wash dishes, or make his own lunch--even worse, he expected that I would do it. His mom was a nightmare, calling at least once a day to check in, and would call my phone every time he didn't pick up his. I hope not all mama's boys are like that, but mine was definitely one to kick to the curb.
No, no, no. I so disagree. There's a difference between having a good relationship with his mother and being a "mama's boy." My ex spent a lot of time with his mom, which was totally cool. They had a weekly lunch/movie date, and they seemed to have a pretty supportive relationship on the surface. But really, she'd encouraged him to become a man-child. She never held him accountable for his mistakes and let him continue to act immaturely because she'd fix whatever trouble he got himself into. When I realized that was what he wanted me to be, an enabler for his immaturity, I ran for the hills. I think that's what happens with most so-called mama's boys in relationships - their significant other becomes a sort of replacement or secondary mother because they were never really shown how to function on their own. That's not a relationship I want.
I am a single mom and I agree with some of the complaints in the comments above. My son and I are close and affectionate, but I don't do his laundry and I don't call him at college more than once a month. I saw my job as "launching" him into the adult world, and that includes shutting my mouth when he makes decisions I don't like. (I tell him what I think, but add that it's his decision and I will support him in whatever he decides. That's hard for me, and he knows it. We joke about it.) But by treating him with respect, I see him growing into a good reliable responsible man. Parents who try to control their kids too much end up with immature disrespectful kids.
Now you say something