World’s first sex school opens in Vienna

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Let's all say one great big "danke schon" to Austria: the nation that gave us Mozart, Freud, and Pez (!) will soon bring us the world's first sex school. If you're over sixteen, and you have $1,860 to spare, the International Sex School in Vienna will teach you the ins and outs of the ins and outs, at what headmistress Ylva-Marie Thompson says is "the world's first college of applied sexuality."

At first, the school sounds kind of like something that a conservative pundit would make up while ranting about moral decline and academic depravity; or, judging by the school's emphasis on internationalism, the premise for the most porn-y Benetton ad of all time. Thompson, however, insists that the school's for real, with the focus of the curriculum simply being "how to be a better lover." "Our core education is not theoretical, but very practical," she says of the school, which will house students in mixed-gender dormitories. "Sexual positions, caressing techniques, anatomical features… we teach people hands on." 

The school, which opens in mid-December, is offering five basic courses, as well as intensive courses and weekend seminars (otherwise known as "going to a bar, picking up a girl who's studying for her masters in elementary education, and repeatedly slamming your junk into hers until you both get bored and decide to watch Austrian Law and Order instead"). If you're interested, here's the school's (obvi kinda NSFW) website; a lot of it's in German, so it's unclear how stringent the application process is, but it's probably safe to assume that your high-school SAT scores are not required.